If this happened on date 4 would you stop seeing them?

[CurledEylash]

We meet once a week and this was date 6. He’d been a bit funny about food from day one really, quite impatient if food took a while, for instance.

Date 4, he picked me up, we drive to the new restaurant that’s opened nearby. He takes a wrong turn and so it adds another 12ish mins to the journey. He starts going quiet and looks cross. I ask if he’s ok. He says yes, I’m just hungry. He barely speaks on the way to the place. It’s getting a bit strained as I feel like I can’t say anything as he’s clearly in a foul mood. We arrive, I say it seems like something else is going on as you seem angry, if you want to call it a night that’s fine? He almost glares at me and says I’m hungry and I get short and irritable when I’m hungry. I just want to go in to the place. I said he was making me feel really uncomfortable and almost scared because I didn’t know him well enough to understand him being moody five minutes after we meet for a date. He said I was being over the top and he was being short because of being hungry, I said that wasn’t ok and he wasn’t a child. To which he got out of the car and we had a meal, he announced half way through that he felt much better and his mood changed.

What the fuck? I’m right to have ended this, right?

I wouldn’t see him again. He scared you. He didn’t care. Appalling behaviour.

My DH can be like this, he goes completely mute when he gets too hungry. Tbf, he does what he can to stop himself getting like it but it happens on occasion and I could quite happily throttle him.

If he can flip between moods like that, I would be very very. If he gets like that after a wrong turn, what would happen if something worse happens? He might’ve been hungry, but nobody I know is like that!

Unlike PMS or menopause, hypoglycaemia is relatively unpredictable. Especially if you DON'T EVEN KNOW IT'S A THING. Which clearly many many people in here don't. Many people are absolutely fine but get crazy when their blood sugar drops. It's like condemning someone who is suffering from depression but doesn't realise it. And saying 'adults deal with their issues'. Until you know you gave a condition, you dint know. He may just think he's weird when he's hungry but not know it's a CONDITION. God, the level of intolerance and judgement in here is astounding. He told the OP he was just needing to eat. He verbalised what he knew. Once he solved the problem he was normal again. Jeez, apparently anyone suffering from any inconvenient condition is an abuser on MN.

What @Otavis said.

Well done for calling it a day.

And no, you can't just 'deal with it' like an adult any more than you can deal with having an anxiety attack, being premenstrual or having diabetes. He wouldn't have known he was going to go into a hypo crash. Suggesting he shouldn't have gone out on a date in that state....I very much doubt he was in that state when he set out.....I guess people with other unpredictable conditions should never go out incase their condition is triggered. Maybe more people on here should behave like adults and show some compassion.

I had a boyfriend like this once. It got to the point where every time he said he was hungry, I'd feel the panic rise and I would frantically start looking for somewhere, anywhere, we could get him some food. He was a stroppy child in lots of other ways too though.

Unlike PMS or menopause, hypoglycaemia is relatively unpredictable. Especially if you DON'T EVEN KNOW IT'S A THING. Which clearly many many people in here don't. Many people are absolutely fine but get crazy when their blood sugar drops. It's like condemning someone who is suffering from depression but doesn't realise it. And saying 'adults deal with their issues'. Until you know you gave a condition, you dint know. He may just think he's weird when he's hungry but not know it's a CONDITION. God, the level of intolerance and judgement in here is astounding. He told the OP he was just needing to eat. He verbalised what he knew. Once he solved the problem he was normal again. Jeez, apparently anyone suffering from any inconvenient condition is an abuser on MN.

He was 12 minutes late eating.

12 minutes.

He wasn’t just a bit grumpy, he actually scared you. You were right to finish things. And for all of those waving their pitchforks and demanding you ignore your feelings and make allowances for him: . Might help those “hangry” feelings.

Especially if you DON'T EVEN KNOW IT'S A THING

Oh come on, he actually acknowledged he gets arsey when he’s hungry. Even if he know NO MORE THAN THAT, a reasonable adult would take steps to prevent it happening.

It always amazes me the mental gymnastics people will employ to excuse bad behaviour by men.

I should have added to my earlier post, that my lad doesn’t at all act in a frightening manner, when his sugars drop. He just goes quiet and a bit snappy, but he will apologise and explain why. If you were even the slightest bit nervous, then walk away.

So just say this worked out. You have babies with him. Babies almost always interrupt dinner.
I think DP and I got used to eating cold meals quite quickly. You are tired, hungry and just want your baby to settle down so you can eat.
Would he be irritated then?

Or, he gets home from work, you told him you would cook the evening meal. You realise there is no potatoes in. You nip to the shop. The meal is now just 20 mins later than usual, would he be moody until food is placed in front of him?

Or you both wake up late, you have an appointment first thing in the morning. You need to throw clothes on and just leave. Will he be moody all through the appointment because he has had to skip breakfast?

I wouldn't carry this on further. Get rid now! 1 wrong turn, 12 mins added to journey and he is moody...on date 4. Isn't this when you would be presenting yourself in the best light? I can tell you he probably is worse once you get to know him further.

And any of this his new date's problem, why, goodgriefsunshine?

She's known him briefly, why should she bother further with someone who was quite scary and unpleasant to be with.

He may not have any kind of condition. And even if he does - not her circus 🎪 , not her monkeys 🙊. She doesn't owe him more dates. She doesn't have to give him chances.

Ditch this dickhead

@GoodGriefSunshine, no one is being 'intolerant'. This man said he gets short and irritable when he's hungry (though I can't help noticing that he started to get cross when he took a wrong turn on the drive to the restaurant, which suggests a bit of old-style control-freakery or anger issues), so he has some level of insight into his condition.

When the OP, quite appropriately, made it clear she had noticed his change of mood and civilly offered to end the date, saying he was making her feel uncomfortable and frightened, he got angry and accused her of being 'over the top.' This man clearly sees no issue with inflicting his mood swings on women, even at the very early dating stage. That is not somewhere any rational human being would want to go -- everything indicates that he sees it as other people's (possibly women's) job to put up with his fits of silent rage.

I get low blood sugar and can be snappy and shaky if I don't eat. I know enough. About myself to make sure I haf a snack before I left.

As an aside I find it happens less now that I have sorted out my diet and seriously reduced the amount of sugary foods I am eating.

Oh wow. Not really a good impression. He sounds awful. Why would you bother! Dating is supposed to be fun!

I have type one diabetes, when my sugars are particularly low I get very frowny, I generally don’t speak and if I do I snap at people and then turn away. I only know I do that due to being told by others and filmed a couple of times doing it. Like many diabetics low blood sugar has an impact on my short term memory, I don’t just forget what I’ve done, I can’t recognise people and if I can I can’t remember their names.

When my diabetes is particularly brittle I won’t remember testing bloods, reading results or eating, if my monitor didn’t record my readings I would genuinely think I hadn’t been testing my bloods that day.

As mine isn’t hugely brittle that rarely happens, but if I’m ill with a particularly bad cold or I have an infection it can easily happen 6-10 times per day due to the physiological impact of very low blood sugar.

If he has diabetes, or problems with blood sugar he should be checking his levels before he drives and he should pull over after two hours and check them again. If he does indeed have a medical conditon he should have informed you so you know what to do/to alert someone else if something happens. As he didn’t bother doing that he is probably just a grumpy arse.

Incredibly rude and disrespectful towards you. You're right to end it. You should be with someone who makes an effort to be the best version of themselves around you, not someone who feels entitled to get into a strop and be short and curt to someone on a fourth date!! Who wants to spend time with a moody prick?

I get hangry but I'm polite enough not to show it. Get rid of him.

Hurrah, you dodged a bullet! Don't hang around for the charm offensive which will likely follow. Well done.

He got grumpy when he knew it was going to take 12 minutes longer to get to the restaurant.

This is him on best behaviour.

Definitely ditch.

For me it was the fact he didn't apologise or show any remorse when OP told him he was scaring her that was justification enough for her dumping him. He just didn't care enough. Four dates in and he's shown his colours, regardless of whether there's any justification he hasn't had the courtesy to mention.

I can understand you feeling scared. Because this person you hardly know has suddenly become angry and unpredictable. That is frightening for a woman in a car being driven by an angry man.

End it and don’t feel bad about it. He inflicted anger on you, for no good reason, then expected everything to go back to normal on his timetable.

Dump and run.

Personally I wouldn't have ended it over a one off mood, anyone can have a bad day. Having said that I would keep an eye out and end it if there were more examples or any kind of pattern started to emerge.