A year ago I met a man who was recently separated. We formed a friendship which involved daily messaging, talking for hours, meeting for coffee once in a while. We were very close. Three months in and he kissed me. I fell hard and fast and he perused me hard.
He started to do the whole hot and cold thing and it felt like he would lead me on until i would bite and then pull back again.
Anyway...he got back with his wife and said things are still rocky and he values my friendship. I started to see other people.
He still messaged me especially at night and I started to feel uncomfortable about this as it felt like emotional affair territory.
I decided to have a frank conversation with him and said I was struggling with friendship as I had feelings, that I feel a bit used and felt he was only available when he was alone or bored. I said he was in denial about our situation but he assured me he just saw me as a friend but he is very attracted to me.
It has been a year of close friendship and a lot has happened. I do have feelings for him but I see this bad side to him and i constantly wonder what I am to him.
I asked him how he would feel if I got into a relationship and settled with someone and he said he would be happy if I was...I’m so confused because when he was seeing me his feelings were so strong....I feel so devalued and used as an ego boost.
I know I need to cut ties and I have lots of times only to go back to being friends a while later.
I feel sad because we do have a close friendship and I’ve even met his kids and last time we kissed was seven months ago, he said he wanted a relationship with me back then...now he’s back with his wife and I’m struggling with the whole dynamic here.
I also work with this guy so I do see him at work but I have been cutting him short and not replying to messages etc after our chat.
My head is in a spin. Please kick me up the arse.