He doesn't go down on me

[ILikePaperHats]

My previous partner gave oral loads and always sorted me out first IYKWIM. I can't really orgasm any other way apart from with a vibrator which I do use occasionally in front of my current partner but often he seems bored by that, maybe left out? He hardly ever gives me oral. I shave, shower every day so I know It's not the odour that might put him off. I've tried talking to him about it and he says he's under confident about his technique, especially as I 'just lay there like a sack of potatoes' (yes, his words but probably on the defence). I've tried telling him that being still and quiet is my way of relaxing and enjoying it and if I'm squirming around then it means he's not in the right place. I tell him I like it on the left hand side of my clit and he nearly always does it on the other side which drives me mad as it seems he doesn't listen or doesn't care much about my pleasure. What should I do? He's 10 years younger than me, was quite inexperienced when I met him and I feel I should have been able to teach him better than this!

Stop bullying the poor fella into doing something he’s not comfortable with. That’s horrible and if a man tried to bullying you into doing something in bed you didn’t want, you’d be feeling abused. It’s no different. Do him a favour and leave.

wow. imagine a man writing this about a woman.

Maybe he just doesnt like doing it. He doesn't have to do it if that is the case

Pardon what? No it’s perfectly normal to do things you know your lover likes.
That said it’s hard training men. Bloody awks. I feel you I can’t orgasm from other ways either.

Umm too much information OP. He clearly just doesn't want to do it so leave him be. Don't make him do something he doesn't want to do. If it's a deal breaker then end the relationship like a mature adult

I guess some men don't like it. Maybe him, too?

This sounds like the east of your problems judging by what else you’ve posted about him.

I think you should persist and spell it out again in simple terms for him.
If he is a decent bloke then he will get off on your pleasure.
I adore giving oral and love to be directed to the very best bits to achieve the best results.
Try pushing his head into the right spot and don’t be shy.
Good luck!

If he sorted me out in other ways great.
But I have strict boundaries about forcing an unwilling partner to do anything.

Maybe he just doesn't enjoy it. I don't particularly like giving blow jobs and I don't see why people, men or women, should be guilted into doing sexual acts they're not comfortable with.

Any partner who pushed my head to give them pleasure would be told to fuck off.
No means no means no.

He doesn’t want to do it!

Pardon what? No it’s perfectly normal to do things you know your lover likes that you also enjoy and actually want to do as well.

I completed you sentence for you.

It was horrible of him to say you just lie there like a sack of potatoes! That being said I can understand hoe if you just lie there “still and quiet” that could be rather offputting!

Imagine if a man came here and said I shave and shower everyday but she still won't suck me off. I beg her and ask her and tell her what to do and where to lick but she won't do it.

He's get grilled. He might not feel comfortable, he might not like it so why ask him again and again?!

You need to decide if this is a deal breaker. You are within your rights to end the relationship for any reason - and if you aren’t being sexually fulfilled then that’s a valid one.

Life is too short to settle for a selfish lover. Time to move on OP.

Bet he likes it well enough when you give him oral. AND I bet he lies there 'like a sack of potatoes'.

Fucking men and their fucking double standards

You’re being a bit unreasonable. If he doesn’t want to do it , then that’s that. If a man wrote this then he’d be seen in a completely different light . Leave the poor guy alone he evidently doesn’t feel comfortable . my husband doesn’t do oral on me because I personally feel uncomfortable with it , and he is ok with that. So it should be ok the other way around . Find something else to pleasure yourself by. Have a chat with what he likes the idea of.

Life is too short to settle for a selfish lover.

I agree, although my definition of a selfish lover is one who tried to make someone else do things they’re not happy with.

PurpleDaisies I totally agree with you.

Lots of men don’t like/do oral sex. It’s pretty common. If he doesn’t want to do it he doesn’t have to

I keep re-reading OP's post to see where she said she pushed his head and I can only think some posters are making up their own story.

If oral's important to you, and if it's the only way you get off it's bound to be, then perhaps you're not a good match with this chap.

'just lay there like a sack of potatoes'

That would be enough for me to fuck him off.

he must think he's Casanova

You deserve much better than him!

OK so it's ok for him to get off through penetration every single bloody time, while it hardly ever brings me close to an orgasm, so asking him to do the one thing that would bring equality to our sexual relationship is unreasonable? I can't believe some of these responses. It's not like I'm asking him to do something weird or kinky!

It's not like I'm asking him to do something weird or kinky!

That’s irrelevant. He doesn’t want to do it.

You are free to decide he isn’t the one for you.