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Original poster

Supposed to be on a date tonight and this has happened. should i be annoyed?!

126 replies

User30001 · 26/10/2019 19:36

we text at 6 to finalise arrangements. he says pick me up at 7. i ask him to text when he's leaving. its about half an hour to get to mine from his.

it gets to 5 to seven at he texts saying just leaving now will be half an hour because he had to eat, he was hungry. (we are eating later anyway...)

i feel annoyed! especially as he didnt text to tell me. what do you think?!

OP posts:
Newmumma83 · 26/10/2019 20:28

I would be annoyed my now husband was an hour late for our date... but giving him a second chance (and not feeling guilty about him buying dinner that night ) was worth it x x

Raphael34 · 26/10/2019 20:30

I wouldn’t like this. I consider poor time keeping to be bad mannered. And he’s obviously not very excited to see you seeing as he’s late and didn’t even bother to tell you

Original poster
User30001 · 26/10/2019 20:33

Ok I met him and we are going for dinner.

For context he’s the one pushing to see me and no we haven’t slept together. He’s been very nice so far in other way.

I said when he got to the house that l was sure he was aware that I wasn’t impressed and he sort of laughed it off and said sorry again. I’ve just left it now.

I’m super wary of people after being a couple of really abusive men in the past so maybe I’m being a bit harsh I don’t know. I have had good relationships too so it’s not like I default to abusive ones.

Not sure what to think about tonight though as it’s just something simple to my mind...text to let me know!

OP posts:
ILearnedItFromABook · 26/10/2019 20:34

Yeah, I'd be annoyed.

He could've taken a few seconds to text you as soon as he decided he needed to eat first. Unless there was a reason he needed to eat then (couldn't have done it earlier or just waited), it would still be a bit irritating, but to wait until after he'd finished eating?

Annoying and makes you feel like less of a priority.

Original poster
User30001 · 26/10/2019 20:35

Some people seem to be getting confused. He text to tell me he would be late 5 minutes before he was due to arrive.

OP posts:
EggysMom · 26/10/2019 20:38

I wouldn't be impressed, no. He knew damn well at 6:30 that he wasn't leaving on time, he should have texted then.

Chupchup · 26/10/2019 20:38

I was thinking diarrhoea.

Loveablers · 26/10/2019 20:40

I wouldn’t be over joyed but I do think you’re over reacting and dragging it out when there’s no need

If at date 5 the guy was all pissy just because I was late (even though I let them know) I’d be thinking sod this

Happityhap · 26/10/2019 20:40

You are now texting while you're with him?
Thanks for keeping us updated, but that's a bit rude to him.

Wizzbangpop · 26/10/2019 20:41

Yanbu this would properly be a no no in my book

somecakefather · 26/10/2019 20:48

Some people seem to be getting confused. He text to tell me he would be late 5 minutes before he was due to arrive

No, not confused. I still think you are really over-reacting. He text you to say he was running late. I'm a stickler for being on time, I'm early to everything but I understand sometimes things happen and people run late, it's not a big deal unless it happens every time you arrange to meet. This could be a one off.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 26/10/2019 20:53

It's more rude to be texting from a date than to be a little late.

Butchyrestingface · 26/10/2019 20:56

Tardiness is my bugbear so this would irk me.

That said, was he punctual on the 4 previous dates?

BadSun · 26/10/2019 21:00

Some people (such as you, OP) are more concerned about punctuality than others!

If it's a social thing, I don't think half an hour makes any difference. Most people I know end up at least half an hour late for social events. Try to relax and not let it bother you so much.

VanGoghsDog · 26/10/2019 21:02

My new-ex used to do this sort of thing early on, plus stop for a MacDonalds on the way to mine (it was a 50 min drive) when I was making dinner and then not eat it as he wasn't hungry.

It was the beginnings of some controlling behaviour, so, to me it's a red flag. My current bf wouldn't dream of doing this sort of thing, he'd let me know if anything changed and he hates being late or having to change plans.

burnoutbabe · 26/10/2019 21:04

Pretty sure being on a date and being on Mumsnet is not best behaviour either!

VanGoghsDog · 26/10/2019 21:04

*now-ex, not new-ex

Vanhi · 26/10/2019 21:05

My DP was late for our 4th or 5th date because he'd put his washing machine on and was waiting for it to finish Confused I took the positives. He's careful about doing his washing and not leaving it sitting soggy in the machine. I liked him a lot and he was apologetic. Plus I was at home so I could do other things. I know now that his time keeping can be lax, although he's never left me stranded and if he says he will be there he will.

Depends OP. If you like someone a lot, is this something you can tolerate? He knew and to be honest you'd given him some leeway because although he'd said 7, you'd then said to text you when he was leaving. This then gave him a bit of leeway that you might not be too exact, so long as you had half an hour's notice of his arrival. I ditched one person without meeting him because he kept changing meeting times and he was just a fucking nightmare to try to meet up with. But the occasional 20 minutes/ half an hour when you're at home? Something I can live with for the right person.

DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain · 26/10/2019 21:06

My ex boyfriend used to do this. Used to infuriate me. He be coming after work - 60mins away and would text 5'ins before due to say he was setting off. So fucking rude.

I mean your guy knew at 18:31 that he was going to be late. waiting till 18:55 is just rude.

VanGoghsDog · 26/10/2019 21:11

It's not just the lateness is it?

It's that at 6.30pm, knowing he needed to leave at that point to meet his date at 7pm to go to dinner, he stopped leaving and sat down and had something to eat. Then, five minutes before he was due to arrive he texted to say he was just leaving and so would be half an hour late - why not text at 6.30pm when you've not left in time? Also, why eat when you're going to dinner?

Everyone is late sometimes, but getting stuck in traffic, getting held up by a phone call, even just being someone who is a bit disorganised and is late etc is different, plus letting someone know as soon as you know (in this world of constant communication) is only reasonable.

BigbreastsBiggerbeard · 26/10/2019 21:16

Yes, was he on time for the previous four dates?

I'd be annoyed too.

milkysmum · 26/10/2019 21:17

I think you are completely over reacting and you sound like a nightmare to be honest. Sorry just the way it's coming across.

cacklingmags · 26/10/2019 21:20

Late, rude, careless, disrespectful, probably stupid as fuck. Why date such a loser? You can totally do better. Move on.

ladygracie · 26/10/2019 21:24

Milkysmum- what do you mean? How is the OP coming across as a nightmare??? She has been clear that she didn’t mind the lateness. She minded that he knew he’d be late at 6,30 but didn’t call her until 5 minutes before he was meant to arrive. I’d be annoyed too but as long as it didn’t happen a lot, it wouldn’t be a problem.

LL83 · 26/10/2019 21:28

If he was meeting you at a bar it would be very rude as you would have already left. As you are at home you can have a cup of tea or glass of wine and wait comfortably and it is not a long time I would be less bothered.

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