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Original poster

Supposed to be on a date tonight and this has happened. should i be annoyed?!

126 replies

User30001 · 26/10/2019 19:36

we text at 6 to finalise arrangements. he says pick me up at 7. i ask him to text when he's leaving. its about half an hour to get to mine from his.

it gets to 5 to seven at he texts saying just leaving now will be half an hour because he had to eat, he was hungry. (we are eating later anyway...)

i feel annoyed! especially as he didnt text to tell me. what do you think?!

OP posts:
fireworksandhotdogs · 26/10/2019 19:48

I wouldn't go he's showing lack of respect already. He should be super keen to make a good impression and be keen to get to see you. Nah ditch

Mosaic123 · 26/10/2019 19:49

Not really acceptable as he's not sorry enough for messing you around.

Angrybird123 · 26/10/2019 19:52

This would really piss me off.. He knew at 6.30 he'd be late so that's when he should have texted you. At 6.55 youre sitting with your shoes on waiting for the door knock.

MiniTheMinx · 26/10/2019 19:52

Date 5.

This wouldn't especially worry me. I'd just sit and relax and wait. Not a biggie.

ffswhatnext · 26/10/2019 19:53

It would annoy me as well. If he'd let you know he was grabbing something to eat would have given you the chance as well.
Even if you're stuck in traffic, you let the other person know you're going to be late, it's a basic courtesy

HollowTalk · 26/10/2019 19:53

The past four dates would have had to be amazing for me to turn up to this one.

Lostoldusername · 26/10/2019 19:55

A lot of fuss about nothing really. There may have been a million reasons he was tunning late that he didn't particularly want to share with you so said he was just grabbing something to eat. He was 25 mins late. He let you know he was going to be late.
Don't see the issue

burnoutbabe · 26/10/2019 20:02

Agreed he let you know and you were at home rather than standing around in the rain or on your Tod in a pub.
This is a complete non issue.
Unless actually it just means you are not keen and looking for a way to justify stopping sea him anyway. Which makes more sense.

Mooey89 · 26/10/2019 20:03

I really don’t see this as a huge issue. Enjoy your date

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 26/10/2019 20:04

Rude. Agree with HollowTalk about the past four dates.

keepingbees · 26/10/2019 20:05

It's not crime of the century but I totally see your point op. He should be keen and still making an effort at this stage.
He sounds like quite a laid back, do it at his own pace kind of person. Which sounds like it might be a clash with you tbh. If it annoys you on date 5 I don't think it bodes well for the future.

rosewater20 · 26/10/2019 20:06

I broke up with a man who was chronically late to pick me up and meet me for dates. He would often be an hour or two late, and it would mean that I was left sitting at a restaurant or bar or in my home for up to two hours waiting for him. I told him twice that It was unacceptable and on the second time said to him that if he were late again to pick me up, I wouldn't be getting in his car. He was late again, and so I didn't answer the door when he arrived but called him and told him it was over. The lateness not only said to me that he didn't value my time but that he wasn't a fully functioning adult and therefore not someone I would want to be in a long term relationship with.

OP, if this is a chronic issue, I would end it. If not, I would tell him that you expect notice if he is going to be late and if it happens again without notice I would end it.

mumwon · 26/10/2019 20:06

perhaps he got caught up at work - hadn't eaten - problems with getting home due to traffic (etc etc) why not wait to see why?

Catsandchardonnay · 26/10/2019 20:09

@Wavingwhiledrowning what annoying thing does your husband do?

Sparklfairy · 26/10/2019 20:11

Did you go? Because you were still posting here long after he was supposed to have arrived (at half 7). If you did go and were posting here while with him that's really rude (and petty). If he was any later than half 7 I would have said don't worry about coming. Being late and then being later is not on.

Lovemusic33 · 26/10/2019 20:11

User I would feel annoyed too, I’m always early for everything, someone being late to be shows lack of effort and lack of interest. I know some people are always late but it annoys the hell out of me. The man I’m dating is the same, says he will be over at 10.30am, he lives an hour away, will text at 10.15am to say he’s just leaving 😡, he’s never been on time.

Poppyfields21 · 26/10/2019 20:12

I do think it’s rude, I’d have to let him know how I felt and if he made a habit of it I’d call it a day.

AryaStarkWolf · 26/10/2019 20:12

Meh wouldn't bother me but I run late alot 😂

LeftoverPizza · 26/10/2019 20:16

I think it’s rude

Betty777 · 26/10/2019 20:21

I would be super annoyed, but would pretend I wasn't and go anyway.

Some people are poor timekeepers and tend to make occasionnal dumb decisions, but if he's otherwise not thoughtless and is usually considerate, he may just be laidback about stuff like this

Wonkybanana · 26/10/2019 20:24

He's not giving you the impression that he can't wait to see you, is he?

This is selfish of him, which isn't a good sign. He's happy to let you sit and wait - it wasn't just that he didn't set off at the agreed time, he only let you know a few minutes before he was due to be there, when you would have been ready and waiting so you basically had to kick your heels until he bothered to turn up.

Date 5 or 55, this tells you that his wants (in this case filling his stomach) are more important than your time. He's shown you where his priorities are, so let him go.

Span1elsRock · 26/10/2019 20:24

I would be cross, OP. He should have said 7.30 in the first place if he knew he wanted to eat something. Why agree to something and then not stick to it?

MitziK · 26/10/2019 20:25

Date 5? I'm assuming that you've either already slept together or there isn't much sexual tension between you, as he's obviously not that keen to prioritise stuffing his face over getting to see you on time.

Lunafortheloveogod · 26/10/2019 20:26

Didn’t get lunch with work? Diabetic? Medication that needs to be taken with food? Said he was eating so he didn’t have to say he had nervous shits?

If you’re in the pub/restaurant waiting I’d be pissed off but at home I’d have went n had a bag of crisps.. depending where you’re going too. Cinema/something then food? Or dinner n drinks?

somecakefather · 26/10/2019 20:28

i feel annoyed! especially as he didnt text to tell me. what do you think?!

You're annoyed because he didn't text to tell you he was eating? So he was half an hour later than originally planned but you were at home so not as if you were left standing waiting somewhere in the cold. I think you sound very high maintenance to be honest. He text to tell you he was running late, what on earth is the problem here???

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