I never thought he would do this to me

[HoneyandSpice]

I've been on MN for 8 years. I've seen so many posts from people who have been cheated on and the common line is as my title. No. Nobody thinks their partner will / would cheat on them. Especially when you have just had a baby / been together for 20+ years / been childhood sweethearts.
But every week I see threads where women are cheated on with work colleagues / via dating sites / etc. There is not one person in the land who can truly say their partner categorically would not cheat on them. You only know yourself. You do not know how anyone else thinks. No matter how much you might 'know' them.

I agree with the OP and it's pretty depressing & scary. I think DH and I have a really good, close relationship but if someone he got on with just as well, who wasn't worn down by kids and age, came into his life as a colleague or whatever can I say 100% he wouldn't cheat?

Those who were cheated on when they thought things were fine, how did your spouse/partner meet the other wo/man?

I could not say that me or Dh would never cheat as opportunity, stress, life changes are a powerful thing. When you are feeling vulnerable maybe your better judgement goes out of the window.. The flattery of a colleague becomes more meaningful or you simply fall for someone else.

I have been lucky in that despite meeting new men all the time and working closely with many of them, I have never had my head turned, but if it ever did happen it would be very difficult. I hope it never does!

@Travelban
Agreed.
I could never mix business with pleasure- I'm always so busy at work so not sure how you can fit in affair at work while still doing a good job - which is very important to me.

The only time I was tempted was with an old flame who id been very much in love. (He was single (again) but I was/am married))

Common sense made me realise it brought nothing to the table - and I love my dh and ex was a tw**.

But when you are going through tough times I can why people get tempted by a bit of escapism - but it's not real and solves nothing.

My exH of 20 years betrayed me so badly I'll never ever trust anther man again.
Abandoned me when I was in hospital and really needed him for a group of people he had only known for 5 minutes (fet life) after 20 years together.
I had done so much for him.
Left me virtually destitute with no car, struggling to pay the mortgage and bills, having to commute 4 hours a day after a major operation involving cancer problems also knowing I had nobody to help me.
We'd had 20 years doing amazing things and having a great life, it most certainly wasn't boring.
I'm fine, but I had to sell up and downsize considerably and I definitely have trust issues with people now.

I could have said the same thing a year ago, a year on he's left me. Men get bored basically in long marriages. (Ok not all but it's common around the time the kids are grown)