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Original poster

Good friend or not?

45 replies

Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:12

I am currently separated from my husband and it’s been so so between us up to now. There’s been no infidelity involved and we’ve just grown apart (he is a first class bellend though 🤭😊) anyway one of my friends told me this week that some time last year he sent her a nude picture on snapchat, she challenged him and he said he’d done it accidentally and not to tell me. She said she never mentioned it as didn’t wanna cause grief but thinks now we’re apart I should know. I’m not upset or anything but it makes me wonder if he’d sent himself like that to anyone else and should she have told me 🤔

OP posts:
DarlingCoffee · 18/10/2019 13:38

Wow. I think she should have told you.

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:41

Me too, and she kept the picture she said 😩😬

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/10/2019 13:43

I can see why she didn't tell you, but she's not the issue. He is.

He did it on purpose. You know this. No one sends naked snaps by accident like this. So he's a sleaze bag. A major one.

But even if it was an accident, who exactly was he sending dick pics to?

PinkMonkeyBird · 18/10/2019 13:44

I can bet he did send it to other women. What a dickhead. Also, yes I agree that the friend should have told you.

Bluntness100 · 18/10/2019 13:46

I really don't think this should turn into an attack on the woman. It's not relevant whether she should have informed you your husband was a pervert. She was inadvertently shoved into thr middle of this.

He's the issue. He's taking naked pics of himself and sending them to either her or others, that's the issue right there. Mr pervert.

WheresMyIcelandJambalaya · 18/10/2019 13:46

I understand why she didnt tell you - It's one of those 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situations....but to keep the photo though? Hmm

He, on the other hand, ........[sick]

DarlingCoffee · 18/10/2019 13:47

If she kept the picture then I would be reconsidering my friendship with her if I were you OP. With friends like those as they say....

Bluntness100 · 18/10/2019 13:47

Exactly, she's damned either way. Some people want to know, others shoot the messenger, she's kept the photo as proof, in case you are the type to accuse her of lying.

incognitomum · 18/10/2019 13:48

Have you seen the photo?

cstaff · 18/10/2019 13:49

I don't think there was any badness in her not telling you - she was probably trying to protect you and your marriage. Definitely a damned if you do situation. As for your husband well.....

cstaff · 18/10/2019 13:50

Also what has she got to gain by telling you - nothing, but she stands to lose your friendship if you hold this against her. It seems to me that she was trying to put you right on his past behaviour.

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:51

I haven’t incognitomum but I think I want too 😬 she said she’ll send it me if I want

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:51

I know bluntness it’s not her fault and I’ve been fine with her

OP posts:
DarlingBuds19 · 18/10/2019 13:52

There’s been no infidelity involved

Only through lack of opportunity on his side apparently.

She was put in a very very difficult position, I'd give her a pass for not telling you until now.

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:53

Cstaff I agree I think she’s told me when she thought the time was right

OP posts:
DarlingBuds19 · 18/10/2019 13:56

If she kept the picture then I would be reconsidering my friendship with her if I were you OP.

She may have kept it because she was undecided whether to tell op or not (in the longer term) - and in fact has done so. The first thing anyone's going to day is "well do you have proof, do you have this picture?" so that would go through your head.

Why else would you keep it - unless ops 'd' h is a fitness model with a giant cock, your average man naked isn't usually something must women who don'tt have feelings for them want to keep and pore over.

Bluntness100 · 18/10/2019 13:56

Exactly she's kept the photo for evidence, I'd have done the same. She was obviously intending on telling you at some point and was worried you'd either think she was lying, as he'd deny it, or you'd want proof.

I doubt she's kept it because she's so enamoured by the sight of his dick.

Never fails to surprise me how many woman blame the woman, I know not you op, even when it's clearly the man that's the issue. What a nightmare situation for her. It's lose lose for her.

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 13:59

She says she saves anything like that which she gets but yeah in this case especially as she may show me at some point. I can confirm that he certainly doesn’t have a massive cock and would imagine anyone he’s ever sent pictures too was quite disappointed, I know I always was with it 🙈🤣

OP posts:
AriadneO · 18/10/2019 14:20

This might be irrelevant, but with snapchat, snaps are displayed for a few seconds only. To 'save' it, you'd have to do a screen shot. Did she do that? That's a bit weird tbh, unless it was to use as evidence later?

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 14:30

I’m guessing she screenshot it but not certain. Question is now do I view it or not or is that invading his privacy 😬

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 18/10/2019 14:34

It's a difficult situation, because many people have been burned in the past while trying to tell the truth, or she might have been worried about her own partner finding out (if she has one), and going crazy over it.

However I have a couple of very close friends where we have discussed this very issue, and if they found out about infidelity or our partners tried to come on to them we know that we have to tell each other! If one of them kept something from me i'd be very upset, because we've already made it clear that we would want to know.

ExcitedForFuture · 18/10/2019 14:47

Invading his privacy? I don't think so. He sent a naked picture to your friend when you were still together. I'd want to see for proof too and I wouldn't blame her. You hear a lot of 'shoot the messenger' type stories.

Personally I would have told you at the time but not everyone would.

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 14:50

@user1481840227 I’d not even asked her if her partner knows 😬

OP posts:
Sheld0r · 18/10/2019 14:52

She's a good friend. She must have agonised over telling you or not. He either wanted something to happen between him and your friend or he intended to send the photo to someone else. You're well rid of him!

Original poster
Mrshappy2019 · 18/10/2019 15:16

She has text me the pic 😬🙈

OP posts: