Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

4 and half years later.....

105 replies

litterbird · 17/10/2019 20:07

Quick back story....4 and half years ago, happy as Larry. My partner (who I had known for decades and we had been in a relationship for 5 years) were eagerly looking at houses, just booked a holiday together...looking forward to the future. He turned 50 and slightly changed, new sports car, different hairstyle, new gym etc etc. Anyway...out of the blue walked in one day, said he didn't want to be with me and left. As quickly as that he was gone. I managed to ask him as he left if he met someone else...he smirked and said "that would be too easy wouldn't it"...I shall never ever forget his smirk and words that day. 5 days later I discovered pictures and declarations of love on social media of a younger woman he had met at the new gym. I went into shock for over a year, I can't remember much of that year, then my dad died on top of that. I haven't seen him or heard his voice since that day he walked away. I didn't chase, I sat there in shock, unable to breathe for what felt like an eternity. I had to go to therapy as my self esteem went south. My world had wobbled off its axis. I felt unsafe, frightened of the future, unable to cope at times. Although I have recovered somewhat, I haven't recovered fully. I have not been able to find another full time relationship but found happiness in dating a handful of lovely gentlemen who take me out and have decided this is it for me and have peace with this. My ex had tried to contact me throughout the years but was always still with the person he left and I wanted nothing to do with him and was quite curt with him to stay away. Today I am stable and happy.....then half an hour ago I get a message from him....he has left the woman he left me for .......and wants to meet up to talk. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely gobsmacked that he has sent this and I actually laughed out loud reading it. What astounds me with men, and I am sure women do this who get left by the OM, is the cheek of it. On what planet does he think I am on that I am going to hop, skip and jump to him to have a coffee to sooth his broken heart. It really beggars belief sometimes. Yes, he damaged me immensely, but I have healed a lot, learned a lot and would never, ever give him even 30 seconds of my valuable time. What is it with men who can't be alone for 5 minutes and want to run as fast as possible to the most available woman to mop their brows. Sorry, big rant over. I am going back to my Gin and Tonic.

OP posts:
Elieza · 17/10/2019 21:16

“That would be too easy wouldn’t it” would be my quote, bearing in mind he told you this when he was no longer interested in you. Be cool to remind him of that now you no longer want him Grin

People laugh when I say what goes around comes around. It bloody does, this is the proof. I hope he sees the irony. Prick!

You have a nice gin and laugh at his stupidity. Fancy thinking he could bunk up with you for a few weeks till he got someone new (or whatever his plan was). Prick.

category12 · 17/10/2019 21:17

I think LOL. I mean, dignified silence is great, but LOL.

GlitterSparkle85 · 17/10/2019 21:18

Wow what a prick!grass isn't always greener it's just another field now you can have YOUR smirk too! Why do people do this leave for some PYT then realise there's no compatability then they've messed up so much they can never return!Shame on him and Good for you for working on YOU and putting YOURSELF first!

Drogosnextwife · 17/10/2019 21:22

I would reply once and once only with " that would be too easy wouldn't it" and either a haha, or one of these 😏

Hidingtonothing · 17/10/2019 21:22

I wouldn't have time to text him back, I'd be too busy laughing my arse off and basking in the delicious irony of his unfortunate situation Grin Give him the attention he deserves OP, none whatsoever Gin

Sally2791 · 17/10/2019 21:22

Silence is best. Any response is feeding his ego

Drogosnextwife · 17/10/2019 21:23

Aw damn it I didn't realise this thread had got so far, someone's beat me to it 😂.

category12 · 17/10/2019 21:28

I don't think LOL and a block would feed his ego.

Windygate · 17/10/2019 21:31

I love your resilience and healthy self esteem. Suddenly as steaming towards 60 he's not such a catch. I wonder who actually dumped who? Block, move on and celebrate with your girlfriends.

purplepalace · 17/10/2019 21:35

I would respond with (fake) pity, stay on the moral high ground and dismiss him:

'I'm really sorry to hear you and X didn't work out, that's a great pity. I'm afraid I won't be free to meet up with you. Wishing you all the best for the future.

Little bird'

Then block him....you will be the one that got away.

Enjoy your G&T!

purplepalace · 17/10/2019 21:38

Or.....

'New phone who dis?'

litterbird · 17/10/2019 21:38

I can’t begin to tell you how this has made me feel, it’s like a huge black cloak has lifted off from my shoulders. It’s like I have been freed from a prison sentence. It’s very weird. I am so happy right now as I am laughing so much with the replies on here and the ones my girlfriends are sending me. What a waste of 4 years on his part. I have worked hard at recovering and have met some amazing people on the way, he is stuck on his own for now feeling just as I did all those years ago. How quick life can change !

OP posts:
MarianaMoatedGrange · 17/10/2019 21:43

The poor heartbroken lonely man. Have you no pity? Grin

category12 · 17/10/2019 21:48

How about this picture? Grin

4 and half years later.....
MarianaMoatedGrange · 17/10/2019 21:51
Grin
user1471453601 · 17/10/2019 21:51

There is one reply I might go for it I were you. "That would be too easy wouldn't it".

Hugsgalore · 17/10/2019 21:55

Well done op. Stay strong and do not text him back. What an absolute dick.

My first serious boyfriend was really socially awkward and awful with women. He dumped me after I built up his confidence. I was heartbroken. A few months later he came over to mine and we talked about getting back together. We had sex, he stayed the night, was all lovey dovey at breakfast and then when he arrived home dumped me again by text.
I changed my phone number to avoid texting him until I was ready. He friended me on fb... 2 years later... cos he was still single... I had just gotten engaged to my now DH. Best revenge. Never heard from him again after that. Prick.

InfiniteSheldon · 17/10/2019 21:57

Who dis? Grin

And Flowers for the heartbreak

rainingallday · 17/10/2019 22:00

@litterbird You HAVE to ignore him. He sounds like such a cunt, that ANY response will show (to him) that you are interested in him/care about him/want to see him deep down.

Cheeky fucking bastard.

I have found (in the past) that completely ignoring someone, is the best way to piss them off, upset them, make them angry, and above all, show you don't give a fuck about them!

litterbird · 17/10/2019 22:04

@rainingallday I do not intend to waste anymore of my precious time emailing him. I remain with a dignified silence......and my smirk firmly in place 😁

OP posts:
Basil90 · 17/10/2019 22:07

You're worth so much more! I'm torn between wanting you to message him with a quick witted one liner or to ignore him completely. I think for a man like him the latter would hurt that bit more..

lisag1969 · 17/10/2019 22:07

I am so proud of you. You are so strong. Well done you. You stick to your guns and stay away from him.
You deserve so much better.
It's his loss, he did you a big favour, without even realising it. Men are so weak.
One day you will meet someone who is wonderful, if you want.
You deserve a person who thinks you're great no that they are.

Muumee · 17/10/2019 22:22

Do the silence. It's the best fuck you. If he doesn't leave it I'd reply along the lines of 'Hi X, I don't know why you keep contacting me when I've asked you not to- I'm sorry you've split with your girlfriend but I don't want to meet you, please stop messaging me.' Clear, to the point, then ignore any future messages. A better person than me would block him but I'm not that person, I'm too nosey to not know! Your stone silence is way more dignified 😂

Witchinaditch · 17/10/2019 22:24

If you have to reply reply with “that would be too easy wouldn’t it” and find a smirk emoji

Pinkbonbon · 17/10/2019 22:26

Always best not to respond to those sort...only problem is that they are so arrogant that he might think you didn't get the message n look for another way to contact you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread