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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

4 and half years later.....

105 replies

litterbird · 17/10/2019 20:07

Quick back story....4 and half years ago, happy as Larry. My partner (who I had known for decades and we had been in a relationship for 5 years) were eagerly looking at houses, just booked a holiday together...looking forward to the future. He turned 50 and slightly changed, new sports car, different hairstyle, new gym etc etc. Anyway...out of the blue walked in one day, said he didn't want to be with me and left. As quickly as that he was gone. I managed to ask him as he left if he met someone else...he smirked and said "that would be too easy wouldn't it"...I shall never ever forget his smirk and words that day. 5 days later I discovered pictures and declarations of love on social media of a younger woman he had met at the new gym. I went into shock for over a year, I can't remember much of that year, then my dad died on top of that. I haven't seen him or heard his voice since that day he walked away. I didn't chase, I sat there in shock, unable to breathe for what felt like an eternity. I had to go to therapy as my self esteem went south. My world had wobbled off its axis. I felt unsafe, frightened of the future, unable to cope at times. Although I have recovered somewhat, I haven't recovered fully. I have not been able to find another full time relationship but found happiness in dating a handful of lovely gentlemen who take me out and have decided this is it for me and have peace with this. My ex had tried to contact me throughout the years but was always still with the person he left and I wanted nothing to do with him and was quite curt with him to stay away. Today I am stable and happy.....then half an hour ago I get a message from him....he has left the woman he left me for .......and wants to meet up to talk. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely gobsmacked that he has sent this and I actually laughed out loud reading it. What astounds me with men, and I am sure women do this who get left by the OM, is the cheek of it. On what planet does he think I am on that I am going to hop, skip and jump to him to have a coffee to sooth his broken heart. It really beggars belief sometimes. Yes, he damaged me immensely, but I have healed a lot, learned a lot and would never, ever give him even 30 seconds of my valuable time. What is it with men who can't be alone for 5 minutes and want to run as fast as possible to the most available woman to mop their brows. Sorry, big rant over. I am going back to my Gin and Tonic.

OP posts:
JennyDarlingsDressingGown · 17/10/2019 20:57

That is good news OP. Order a fatted calf from Home Delivery, slip into your sexiest lingerie and welcome him back with open legs arms.

litterbird · 17/10/2019 20:57

I am still laughing! Think the gin has something to do with it....I have sent a screenshot of the email before I deleted it to all my girlfriends who swept me up, held me as I cried, listened to me go on and on about him forever. All of them phoned me calling him all the names under the sun!! It’s made their evening.....what a wanker..,,the smirk that came over his face as he left is now in mine Grin.

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 17/10/2019 20:58

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is he thinking. I'm afraid I'd have to respond, but in the most scathing, ego denting way I could.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 17/10/2019 20:59

'As if...' would probably be my preferred response. And block.

Butterymuffin · 17/10/2019 21:00

I think 'LOL! No thanks' would send the right message! What a tosser.

JennyDarlingsDressingGown · 17/10/2019 21:01

I'd be pissing myself at the message. Grin
She's dumped him.

Notallitseemstobe · 17/10/2019 21:02

Reply:

Sorry, who is this?

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 17/10/2019 21:03

3 words....

Who is this?

Grin
AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 17/10/2019 21:03

@Notallitseemstobe Snap!

ClementineWardobe · 17/10/2019 21:05

Nah, you reply with only 4 words...
'New Fone... Who dis?'

😎

litterbird · 17/10/2019 21:06

Now I know how Jennifer Aniston felt when Brad and Angelina split....I am having a Jennifer moment x

OP posts:
ClementineWardobe · 17/10/2019 21:06

Ha! Cross Post..

MarianaMoatedGrange · 17/10/2019 21:06

Too all the survivors now free of wanky men. Cheers! Gin

Nomorepies · 17/10/2019 21:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Musti · 17/10/2019 21:07

I'd reply. 'God no, the biggest favour you ever did me was leave. Take it your last squeeze finally saw you for the loser you are haha'

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 17/10/2019 21:07

Yours is the best 😂😂😂
@ClementineWardobe

WhoKnewBeefStew · 17/10/2019 21:09

Love musti's response

Gogreen · 17/10/2019 21:10

Reply

Who is this?

ClementineWardobe · 17/10/2019 21:10

😁! Ta!

Gogreen · 17/10/2019 21:11

Or reply
.....David?? Is that you?

😂😂

helpmum2003 · 17/10/2019 21:12

Tosser and dickhead

PrincessHoneysuckle · 17/10/2019 21:12

Just put "pmsl" and have another gin

GreenTulips · 17/10/2019 21:13

Hi I’d love to meet but I’m all on my own at X hotel (60 miles away) - cheeky grin

Wait till he turns up and message ‘oh my mistake sorry’

I’d be having a bit of fun

litterbird · 17/10/2019 21:14

You lot on MN are so fabulous and funny, it’s like the stress of the last 4 and half years has gone. I choose to never respond to him. He will move on rapidly now. If this is what Karma feels like then bring it on!

OP posts:
Fuma · 17/10/2019 21:15

I was also going to advise who dis but see I'm not the first. What a twat. Men do this though. I've had several over the years - not who broke my heart admittedly, that would fuck me off - friend me out of the blue and turns out they'd just got divorced .. oookaaay. Predictable unimaginative tossers.