Husband going to the cinema with female colleague

[notacoolmom]

My husband decided once he got to work today that he was going to go to the cinema alone with a female colleague when he finished. We've been having a hard time recently and I was under the impression he'd want to spend the evening with me. This girl is constantly messaging him, I have been introduced to her/said hello to her several times at his work and she has flat out ignored me. I'm not convinced he has other intentions, but I think she might. I have told him I don't like her repeatedly but also reinforced the fact that I want him to make the decisions on what he does with his life whilst taking my feelings into account. I also looked up how long the movie lasts and it should have finished half an hour ago but he's claiming it's still on so I dunno.

I'm really not comfy with this and he thinks I'm being unreasonable. I will never 'forbid' him from doing anything I just wanted him to make the right decision. Sorry needed to vent

@DBML, does it make my behaviour more or less suspicious if I say I’m taking my male friend out for lunch tomorrow as a belated birthday present?

I hope you're OK OP. I think your DH is just testing how much you'll take so make sure your feelings are clear. Let us know how you get on

Context is key it would seem. There are posters who have friends of either sex and think nothing of going for dinner or to the cinema. Then there are others that view these things as couples only activities and would be perturbed by their OH undertaking them with another partner.

So it really boils down to what sort of relationship you have, if this is not something either of you would normally do it does put it in a different light.

Mine and my DH's first couple of dates were at the cinema, and when we get free time now we try and catch a film. So for me the cinema has a more intimate feel. That being said in the past DH has gone out for lunch with a close female friend of his and it's not an issue or something he needs to seek permission for.

I'm not sure whether the cinema trip itself is a bit of a red herring. We're all debating whether a trip to the cinema is a platonic pastime or something more romantic, when actually the bigger problem is your OH's attitude. His disregard towards your feelings and his response when you voiced concerns sound more alarm bells than the having a friend of the opposite sex.

@lucie8881 ^ THIS with bells on

@DBML With all that said I still agree with you that the OP's DH is in the wrong here. Only for the reasons lucie8881 states above.

This is wrong on so many levels.

1. What's she doing with the fucking BOSS at the cinema? I'd NEVER do that
2. She texts him all the time. I NEVER texted my boss outside of office hours and not work related
3. He knows WELL that you're unhappy and he still does it
4. You accept it

This is not on, OP.

To be honest going to the Cinema isn't the problem - and in my 50s it would depend on the film and my preferences - the latest Avengers or a Horror (or War) or maybe some arty thing in an obscure language (or live cinema Wagner). Well I'd rather he went with someone else.
Now a romantic film or rom com would seem a bit odd?

But going with someone who keeps texting and when the relationship is a bit rocky...
And to go without checking if I wanted to go first...

I'd divorce him for that.
He's a twat.
Let that toolbag of a woman have him.
They deserve each other.