Social media ruined my relationship

[Sweet132]

Well...maybe not a fair statement.

It should be: I ruined my relationship for being so unboundaried on social media.

I was in a completely happy and stable relationship. I really was but then....joined social media and temptation was everywhere.

I have messed up so bad! All my own stupid fault!

Sparked up a friendship with someone. I actually knew this lad from an old workplace years ago.

As I was going to cross the line, I finished my boyfriend as didn't want to cheat. Had sex with said person. Which was amazing....mind blowing. Like....he was just ridiculously good in bed. There were 6 encounters altogether. When I knew him from an old workplace, there was defo a spark back then but we never did anything with it.

Then..... realised what the hell I had given up for an encounter and asked ex to take me back.

He did without hesitation....said i was lucky as I could have learned the hard way that the grass wasn't greener and doesn't see any issues. He is a great man...so handsome...tall....protective....just an amazing man. He has accepted me back without question.

Now I'm back in my stable and loving relationship......but....now I have had a taste of thrill of the chase and much better sex.....my relationship feels dull.....even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

My boyfriend is very good in bed but....being in a long term relationship....the sex feels different to the first time you do it with someone you've had a bit of chase with. Like.....new relationship sex. That sex feels a lot more intense to me.

It has been so long since I had that feeling and I miss it. The chase and encounter were just...unreal.

Is there a way I can just forget it all and just be happy with the most perfect man in the world that I have now?

I think I should just shut all the social media accounts down. Alternatively...go from man to man, finishing them when the new relationship sex feel wears off and moving to the next one and just.....growing old a lonely ole bag with no secure partner.

I have access to therapy from work and plan to pick this up with them.

Does anyone have any (kind) words of wisdom? I know I have messed up and I don't need reminding of it 😥

The only thing I feel I am lacking is that thrill......which will naturally wear off in a relationship of course. But....it is still fresh in my mind I guess.

Urgh. Thanks for listening x x

Not sure if this is genuine at all. Just in case it is, I know someone like you OP, she had an issue with Internet dating, got so much into the idea and rituals of meeting someone that when she actually did, couldn't handle the addiction she had developed to these sites, the texting, the swiping etc. Ended up ruining a very good relationship with someone perfect , all whilst being in her 40s

Can I just say to you. Its perfectly possible to have a stable and secure life as a single person. I enjoy meeting new people and having sex with different people so I'm single.

I have friends family and hobbies. I have independence and love and a really good life. And I'm not hurting myself or anyone else.

Women do not need men to feel good about themselves, you know 😂 some women...like me....feel good about themselves already and just like having sex with lots of different men because the sex feels good 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thats absolutely true. And let me say there's nothing pathetic about it.

But those women, like me, tend to be single.. You absolutely can't have it both ways.

OP you are me! I like having my cake and eating it and I can’t help it, LTR are dull

You’ve literally answered your own question by saying you can’t lose your BF?!
It seems to me you are someone that loves attention but it’s time to grow up and settle the f down.

The issue here (assuming this is a real problem) is not that you like sleeping with a lot of men, nor that you like sex, nor that you are a self-confident attractive woman blah de blah.

The issue here is that you HAVE a boyfriend that you want to hang onto, BUT you ALSO want to have the "thrill" of sex with new men.

Ain't gonna fly unless your BF is into open relationships.

Might be worth seeing the GP re. nymphomania, depending on how hard to control the urges to have sex with random new blokes is.

Other than that, you need to make the decision once and for all that you're either going to stick with the boyfriend and play by the rules, OR that you're going to go back to lost of short term casual flings.