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Original poster

Period etiquette. New bloke. Fucking hell.

131 replies

ChippyPickledEggs · 03/10/2019 12:25

I have a new friend. He is very new. We are still just getting to know eachother fairly casually, although things look tentatively promising.

My kids are going for a rare weekend away with their father and so he is coming to stay. We're looking forward to it. Yay.

Except my period started today. Saturday will be the second full day so I will still be bleeding fairly heavily. Personally I'm still happy to have sex but I realise some men don't enjoy it, especially with such a new partner.

When do I share this information? Expressly giving him the option not to come seems a bit Hmm - I mean hopefully we would enjoy eachothers company anyway? But then again... shouting SURPRISE! just as the knickers come off seems a bit off too...

I dunno. I've been out of the game for too long. Help me Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Sowingbees · 03/10/2019 14:07

04ChippyPickledEggs concern for linen and not squeamish sounding more and more like a keeper.

Have fun!

angell84 · 03/10/2019 14:08

Maybe there is something about menstruation that we have forgotten. That it is not just a physical time of the month. Maybe it is important emotionally and spiritually.

I am going to research today on what ancient societies said about menstruation.

I feel that we have forgotten something about it

boggarts · 03/10/2019 14:11

Cyklo F From Boots might help.

TryingToBeBold · 03/10/2019 14:11

Get some black bedding and a black towel down.. cheeky intimate bath or shower after.
A great weekend AND a keeper WinkSmile

And yes people do have sex when they've come on. Why not. It's like the peak of intimacy and trusting. I always find that to be the case anyway.

Original poster
ChippyPickledEggs · 03/10/2019 14:13

Interested in Norestherone and Cyklo F for hypothetical future. Is it safe to take stuff that stops you bleeding? Does it fuck up your cycle? I'm not planning on having any more children and to be honest have only got probably less than a decades worth of periods left anyway.

OP posts:
Durgasarrow · 03/10/2019 14:13

I don't think you need to mention it. Anyone who dates a woman knows that it's pretty much a one in four chance of being a possibility that one is dating someone on her period (or am I just lucky having had week-long periods?). I think coming for a weekend means a chance to be intimate in many different kinds of ways, not just penetrative sex. So if he isn't comfortable with period sex--or period sex with someone new, which might be a different issue, there are other ways of getting to know each other.

Orangepearl · 03/10/2019 14:15

I would have him round and then say sorry no sex as I’m on my period what do you want for dinner/what’s on Netflix? Wink

Derbee · 03/10/2019 14:18

Glad it’s all sorted, OP. He sounds like a normal, reasonable adult 🙂

I personally don’t understand the formal pre warning about periods, but as it made you feel more comfortable, that’s the main thing.

angell84 · 03/10/2019 14:19

Is anyone else looking forward to menopause

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 03/10/2019 14:20

I'd tell him when he's there and things are getting cosy. Suggest other forms of intimacy and see what he says.

I'm usually feeling tender down there during my period so that's what we do. DH never objects! Grin

VioletR · 03/10/2019 14:21

One of my friends started hooking up with a guy once. They were making out and things started to escalate and I guess he just reached down, felt around and yanked out her tampon by the string. I guess that was his way or signaling he was down with period sex. I always thought that was kind of a hot story lol.

Crystal87 · 03/10/2019 14:21

Presuming it's not all about sex, I wouldn't make a big deal of preparing him beforehand. If he doesn't come down, he's not interested in you, only sex.

Original poster
ChippyPickledEggs · 03/10/2019 14:23

I do feel more comfortable Derbee - I didn't want to spring it on him and then have him feel he had to act all cool about it if he wasn't really. Sending him a message gave him a bit of space to respond in his own time. He messaged back straight away to say in as many words that he couldn't care less, so now I know it definitely isn't an issue.

OP posts:
TheQueens · 03/10/2019 14:31

Go for it, great excuse for a bath/shower together after as well!

Interestedwoman · 03/10/2019 14:38

Excellent. x

ifonly4 · 03/10/2019 14:40

It's a fact women have periods and they don't always happen at the most convenient time. He's going to know already that there's a chance you could have your period. I wouldn't worry about telling him until he arrives. A relationship isn't just about sex, hopefully you'll enjoy eachothers company, a meal, film whatever. As with every relationship when the sex/period issue comes up, you work out what's best for you.

Magpiefeather · 03/10/2019 14:45

@VioletR really? I would probably have slapped him! More for the presumption of removing the tampon!

womenspeakout · 03/10/2019 14:45

Interested in Norestherone and Cyklo F for hypothetical future. Is it safe to take stuff that stops you bleeding? Does it fuck up your cycle? I'm not planning on having any more children and to be honest have only got probably less than a decades worth of periods left anyway.

When I've used it it's been fine in regulating it, I come on exactly four weeks after I come on after stopping it.

I didn't know it would stop you mid period though until the other day, and it was purely an accident!

italianfiat · 03/10/2019 14:45

@Magpiefeather

To be fair Violet did say it was a story Grin

AdultFishcakes · 03/10/2019 14:50

This is a lovely outcome @ChippyPickledEggs

I swear my cleaners must be able to track my cycle as it’s once every 33 days the black and dark grey bedding comes out in place of the usual “large houndstooth”.

GlamGiraffe · 03/10/2019 14:53

If it's really a big deal, someone I know slightly stamps a natural sponge and stuffs it right up during really heavy bleeding just for sex. I wouldn't do it personally, but apparently it's a 'thing's there are also some types of menstrual cups designed especially for sex, you only use them for sex
And I've read they are pretty hard to feel. Again not my thing. DH always hern up for period sex from the start, if anything I've found it off putting on the first really heavy day or two. If you're up for it you need to have a talk, nothing is out of bounds when it comes to sex!!

AutumnRose1 · 03/10/2019 14:56

This expression "got the painters in"

Am I the only one who hasn't heard of it?

PhilomenaButterfly · 03/10/2019 15:01

shark week I wish I still had periods so I could use this! Grin Duh duh. Duh duh. 🦈

KUGA · 03/10/2019 15:07

When you next txt him tell him your feeling under the weather and in pain.
He should ask whats up and you reply its that time of the month because I`m female .
He should get the message.

BowiesJumper · 03/10/2019 15:12

Have fun! If I was to attempt that on the 2nd day of my period the sheets would have to be thrown away (literally opening the floodgates)! Bit jealous.