Period etiquette. New bloke. Fucking hell.

[ChippyPickledEggs]

I have a new friend. He is very new. We are still just getting to know eachother fairly casually, although things look tentatively promising.

My kids are going for a rare weekend away with their father and so he is coming to stay. We're looking forward to it. Yay.

Except my period started today. Saturday will be the second full day so I will still be bleeding fairly heavily. Personally I'm still happy to have sex but I realise some men don't enjoy it, especially with such a new partner.

When do I share this information? Expressly giving him the option not to come seems a bit - I mean hopefully we would enjoy eachothers company anyway? But then again... shouting SURPRISE! just as the knickers come off seems a bit off too...

I dunno. I've been out of the game for too long. Help me Mumsnet.

Bring*

I wouldn't sleep with anyone whilst bleeding heavily but that's just me!

I would tell him what the situation is, say you're still happy for him to come over and see what he says.

Not sure I want a bloke who is squeamish about women's bodies.

I wouldn't say that not wanting period sex = squeamish about women's bodies.

SellmeyourMLMcrap thanks for the 😂.

Chippy have a brilliant time, how exciting!

OP, I have been with a new partner for a few months, things are still pretty new, I find it hard to know how to tell him that I’m on my period, he’s pretty shy (but not in the bedroom) and we don’t really talk about that kind of stuff so I always panic a bit when I’m going over to his during leak week. I have started telling him by text, he never really makes an issue, doesn’t comment about it but understands that sex is off the cards (my periods are pretty heavy so I won’t do it on heavy days), I just go over as normal and he doesn’t even hint at having sex, he doesn’t seem bothered that he’s missing out, I think I’m more bothered than he is because I’m horny as hell when I’m on my period 🤣

Ask him to pick up some tampons on the way to yours? The super duper orange ones? this way, you get to see if he's ok with periods, if he can follow instruction and get the right ones, and if he can use his initiative (if he buys some chocolate too!) It's win win!
Have fun!

He might be OK with it, but there are plenty of other ways to achieve orgasm without PIV, it doesn't have to be "just cuddles" .

No man is entitled to get annoyed because they havent been told a woman is on her period upfront. Surely he should want to be getting to know her etc not just be thinking about shagging her.
If anyone got annoyed with me about it, then I'd just get rid of them.

There we go, how much better do you feel?!? It's like the BT advert all over again "It's good to talk" lol

@italianfiat are you her mum??

I’d simply leave arrangements as they are and when things start to get steamy tell him then . If he’s in the minority of men who are freaked out about period blood offer him an alternative ie a blowjob assuming that doesn’t freak you out - giggles kindly .

It's nice to know that he's not arsed. It's another plus point in his favour tbh.

I think you should tell him- if he decides not to come, you'll know he's a)uptight, or at least you're not on the same page, and b)mainly just interested in sex rather than getting to know you.

If he didn't like period sex but liked you for you and wanted to spend time with you, he'd still come. Personally I've been disappointed in the number of partners who think women's natural processes are gross, and that would disappoint me slightly, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

If he doesn't like period sex, so chooses not to come because sex is off the cards, he would seem a bit of a user. And of course, there's other sexual stuff people can do anyway.

Good luck and if your weekend goes ahead, please let us know what you think of him xxx

I don't understand this. If you are willing to have sex with him then you need to be honest about being on your period. Maybe he's fine with it, maybe not. But tying yourself up in knots over it isn't sensible. You're a woman, we have periods. Be factual about it.

why don't you just mention next time your speaking with him (or texting) just say

"felt a bit crappy today as I've come on"
"felt a bit crap today as I've got stomach cramps"
"OMG! I can't stop craving chocolate today, it's that time of the month again!"

That way, you're leaving it entirely up to him to see if he cries off, (which I think you're expecting him to hence why you want him to know prior) and that way you don't need to ask if he's ok with period sex and if he does come over, you know and he knows that your on and if you get to the stage of sex being imminent, you know he's ok with it. Just grab towel and enjoy :)

Good for him.
Used to use a diaphragm (Dutch cap) for contraception. Great for period sex.

So Op do you think he's up for blood sport or hoping for lots of blowies?
Reading this has made me feel like a teenager again

Not sure I want a bloke who is squeamish about women's bodies

I'm not squeamish about women's bodies, what with actually having one, but there is no way I would want to sleep with a woman when they were on their period.

It's a choice. Not sleeping with someone on their period doesn't make you squeamish about the female body. It just means you don't want to get intimate while they are bleeding. Which is fine.

God I just had my period and I am glad to have an opportunity to moan about periods.

I used to be quite happy about my periods. I was really hippy about them - they are a symbol of femininity, we are powerful at this time of the month, it is nature, it is powerful.

Not any more. My cycle is shorter than average, so I am bleeding nearly every three weeks. (Still in the nornal range). So it seems to me like barely any time is passed before I am bleeding again. My last period was so painful and so heavy. I look really pale, I feel really exhausted from blood loss. I am sick of worrying about getting stains anywhere.

This last period was the first time I thought - I can't wait until these are over. I am looking forward to them stopping. And having that freedom.

And then there is also the awkwardness of telling a man. I would personally text him and tell him before he came. It is happening. That is that. You. He knows it happens. You Can do other things

Sowingbees I think he doesn't mind a bit of blood sport. He did express concern for my pristine white sheets however.

Has anyone tried FLEX before? The promise is 'mess free period sex' which would have solved OP's dilemma.

flexfits.uk

just seen update - have fun ;)

The other day, the first day of my period, I thought I was taking anti sickness tablets (I have really bad endo) and my sickness wasn't going away, so I took more.

My period disappeared by the next day, unheard of, I bleed an awful lot, no pain no blood, all through the day. I wondered what had happened. Then realised I'd taken Norestherone instead of the sickness tablets, and so I'd accidentally stopped my period.

I don't know if taking something like that is an option for you? I don't know, but just found that it stopped it.

I constantly think: how on earth is this the most efficient way to design a female body?
That she loses blood heavily every month?

Why can't the uterus lining only build up if a fertilised egg is present.

I don't understand it

Just tell him. It is possible to take stuff to put off your period but sounds as though you've left it a bit late.

I know some people don't care about periods and carry on regardless, not my taste but each to their own. See what he says.