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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Third (and final) thread - C nonsense

999 replies

JaysusWept · 21/09/2019 21:59

Unbelievable that this is the 3rd thread and still nothing has been resolved.
I wasn’t going to start this one but if anything good comes out of this shite it will be a Glasgow/Scotland MN meet up!

I know folk laugh at all the ‘DAILY MAIL MAY NOT USE THIS’ stuff, but here’s me giving the scummy DM permission to use this 👋

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 25/09/2019 22:13

They really are horrible - deliberately trying to provoke you, so stay strong and don't rise to it. Good luck Thanks

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 25/09/2019 22:21

You're doing great!

I also think ex has helped - you doing grey rock, while somebody else spoke up for you is magnificent.

There was never trouble in C's marriage, but I bet there is now. I'd say karma is being pretty efficient on C. Perhaps K will have to wait until she's C's next victim. Not your circus any more, not your monkeys.

Brew
Lolapusht · 25/09/2019 22:38

Did EXH ask C’s H if he’d been kicked out?! He didn’t know about the messages, did he know he’d been kicked out for the weekend???

jpclarke · 25/09/2019 22:39

I am so glad to hear your dd has so far been unaffected by this. That whole group are a pack of bullies, that's crap you would expect out of teenagers. These are very serious allegations C has made and you are so brave to be able to face them every day. Well done op.

Ravenesque · 25/09/2019 23:35

I'm hoping that your DD won't be affected by this at all. Something truly heinous happened to me when I was at primary school which was carried out by the mother of a friend. Not in person, over the phone. Anyway, it was so bad that the police got involved and it was stopped, we had the police tapping the phone or something for a while before our phone number could be changed, this was in the seventies, things took longer then! Anyway, I knew it was her mum, my mum knew who it would, it was a total shitstorm, but ...

The daughter and I never really fell out over it. She basically knew her mother was fucked in the head, she also did some seriously horrible stuff to another family in the school for years after we had all gone on to (different) secondary school and lived in the same road as my aunt and tried to fuck her life up too. Anyway! The girl and I weren't best friends, just friends along with many other friends, but we stayed mates until we left primary school and went our separate ways.

I was 10 at the time and felt sorry for my friend that her mum was so fucked up.

I hope the friendships remain okay, but hopefully your lovely DD already has other friends and if not she will make them and come out of this unscathed. I feel sorry for the children of the Wicked Witches of Glasgow because their mothers are terrible role models.

Also, @Jaysuswept, I am so sorry this has happened to you and in your position I would find it really hard to just step away. The fact that you're doing that - or doing your best at the very least - speaks volumes about who you are as a person and how much better you are than all of them. Eventually, you'll just be so glad that you are nothing like them and I hope there's a Glasgow MN meet up soon. I'm not in Glasgow but I love the thought of you getting lots of MN love in person. Obviously, not in a rude way! Smile

stanski · 26/09/2019 00:01

@Ravenesque the wicked witches of Glasgow sums them up pretty well ha!

FantasticButtocks · 26/09/2019 00:04

Well if C's DH is totally oblivious, then it won't be long before he naturally walks home with you from school, like he did the day this all kicked off. Because why wouldn't he? And then you can both stand outside his and C's house having a nice long earnest conversation, ending with a loud annoying laugh and a cheery wave! Grin

In fact a conversation on that walk home could be used to fill him in on the text message you received after the last walk home, and how extraordinary things have been since then.

C would be peeping through the curtains, and WhatsApp would then be absolutely aflame!!

Lickedthespoon · 26/09/2019 01:12

C is 100% jealous of you. Well done for ignoring, that’s absolutely the best way to go. When they’re not together at school, they’ll soon know what it’s like without back up and won’t be so cock sure. The injustice of it is the worst bit, but I genuinely think at some point, it’ll change. Keep that chin up!

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 26/09/2019 01:41

Don’t bite, OP! Whatever they say or do at school do.not.bite! Let their behaviour get worse and worse, in their desperation to provoke you. Others will notice and who do you think they will judge? The quite, dignified mum or the two women goading for a fight? I would actually consider wearing a jacket cam with mic, so you can get them on video if they try anything. I know it sounds extreme, but the fact that they walked over to get closer to you, strongly suggests they’re going to keep pushing.

One thing I would say is, be aware that they may try to use your daughter to get a reaction. They may approach her, speak to her or even be overly tactile with her. This will be to goad you into going over to them. If they hold her up, just call her over in a cheery voice or go over, but pass no comment to them AT ALL, so you can’t be accused of saying anything. Concentrate on your daughter and appear relaxed at all times.

I’m sure I sound paranoid to you, but I’m sure you never thought any of them were capable of going this far. Take care of yourself IP and don’t let the bastards get you down. Flowers

ScarlettSahara · 26/09/2019 02:03

Only just caught up. I am so very sorry this has happened to you Jaysus & think that grey rock is the best option. In my view C will absolutely be determined to put you in a bad light & you can’t beat her at this however unjust it is because she is a master manipulator & I truly think it is best to not fuel the fire or do anything that might fan the flames (apologies for the clichés). I have been through something similar but not on the same scale & it is difficult to deal with people like C who sounds like a narc.

It is a relief that your DD is not isolated at school & I am sure you are right to monitor this. I feel it would be prudent to follow previous advice to get your DD into activities outside school so she may make friends unhindered & to arrange some other playdates -ask your daughter who she likes & explain that it is good to have lots of friends.

Stay strong & consider outside activities for yourself too. Don’t give these women headspace or try & work out what you did wrong (nothing) or what the motives were - it will just eat away at you. The ‘friends’ sadly are looking solely to their own interests (keeping their own social network going & not wanting to be in the firing line). Hope things get better & that you get together with some lovely Glaswegian mumsnetters. Flowers Gin.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/09/2019 02:12

Ah Jaysus - you're doing great at the grey rock thing, keep it up.
Avoid any temptation to message them - I strongly believe, reading the updates, that K is at least as bad as C, if not worse, and that you messaging them would make fuck all difference, only provide entertainment for them all.

It would appear that the backbiting has been going on for a while behind closed doors, and C's first mistake message has just brought it all out. I believe that M, K and the other one (D?) were maybe just keeping a foot in both camps to see what you would say/do, but they were never on your side.

I think it's important to take note of Contrary's post about the shit trickling down to the children - but also that that isn't a given, it very much depends on the children themselves. But just in case, keep up the idea of broadening your DD's social circle so that if they do start to turn against her, she has other friends, both inside and outside of school, to turn to.

Your exH may have done you a favour, may not - but there is no point at all in trying to find out, or having any contact with that poisonous bunch of harpies. C's H may or may not be having an affair, but that is not your business or circus - apart from a sense of "ha! serves you right" if it comes out, you have no need to know what he's doing. Or what she's doing.

Grey Rock it all the way, lady - you're doing the right thing. Reduce the drama until they get bored and fuck off and leave you alone.

titnomatani · 26/09/2019 02:27

@JaysusWept - you sound amazing. These bitches don't define who you are, where you've come from, what you've been through or where you're heading in life. Fuck the lot of them and let them self-combust. Make a new set of friends and focus on looking after yourself. X

Clutterbugsmum · 26/09/2019 05:51

C and K were at the school. I thought they were approaching me but they stopped about 12 ft away from me - could hear them laughing (and they say I have an annoying laugh!)
You know that way when you can feel someone staring at you? Well, that. But I didn’t look over.

I might be inclined to make a game of this, and every time they try to stand next to you, (and yes they are trying to make you uncomfortable) I would move away from them and see how many times they will follow you around the playground.

ktp100 · 26/09/2019 08:58

Anyone else so invested they're fearful of reaching 40 pages & nt getting another thread? Hmm

happycamper11 · 26/09/2019 09:49

I totally missed thread 2 but think I'm pretty much up to speed after reading this one. I think it's ace that ex p mentioned it. At least she'll be getting pulled up on it by someone who won't be believing her shit. Sending love from Edinburgh - And horrified adults can behave like this.

AryaStarkWolf · 26/09/2019 09:54

Anyone else so invested they're fearful of reaching 40 pages & nt getting another thread?

Yes Grin

Idontwanttotalk · 26/09/2019 10:05

I'd like to see this through and want there to be a conclusion in the OP's favour. I just hate injustice and want to know that C gets her come-uppance and that OP gets her happy ever after.

For all the Glaswegians on here, aren't there any newspapers up there you could send the 3 threads to in the hope they'll publish this and the bitches witches will be shown up for their abhorrent behaviour?

PotatoShape · 26/09/2019 10:08

I'm probably not the first to suggest this, but what if you put a link to this on the WhatsApp group?

JaysusWept · 26/09/2019 10:34

I'm no longer in their WA group.
I've looked on FB this morning and K, M and D have all unfriended me.
So, that's that!

OP posts:
Tooner · 26/09/2019 10:37

Jaysus I have followed all of your threads but not commented. I came across this today and thought of you. They are not worth it, have shown their true colours and are not friends anyone would choose to have. I think you are well out of their bitchpack.

Third (and final) thread - C nonsense
StartupRepair · 26/09/2019 10:37

Wow they are hard core bitches. Well done not reacting. Keep grey rocking.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 26/09/2019 10:38

Sorry to disagree putting it on the WhatsApp group would be satisfying in that she could read how many people support Jaysus, but unfortunately it would give C so very much material to stir up the drama and spread further lies about Jaysus as its clear C and the rest of them don't care about the truth whatsoever. C would twist it and It would probably lead to them openly retaliating and dragging loads of interested bystanders in, which could affect DD.
Grey Rock which is working well for Jaysus and DD at the moment.

JaysusWept · 26/09/2019 10:41

I'm definitely continuing with the grey rock - I'm not giving those arseholes the satisfaction of feeding their drama further.
Drama which has been completely made up!
However, if a third party asks me about what happens then I will let them know.
I'm looking forward to the long September weekend and no school run tomorrow and Monday!

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 26/09/2019 10:43

What a shame you didn't block and remove them first as now it looks like they have made the choice and have the power whether to let you in the group or not.

wheresthehope · 26/09/2019 10:48

I hope none of their crap starts to effect your DD and her friendships. Their mothers are clearly nasty people . I would keep a close eye on things there

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