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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Third (and final) thread - C nonsense

999 replies

JaysusWept · 21/09/2019 21:59

Unbelievable that this is the 3rd thread and still nothing has been resolved.
I wasn’t going to start this one but if anything good comes out of this shite it will be a Glasgow/Scotland MN meet up!

I know folk laugh at all the ‘DAILY MAIL MAY NOT USE THIS’ stuff, but here’s me giving the scummy DM permission to use this 👋

OP posts:
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10
AryaStarkWolf · 25/09/2019 14:27

No idea what she has told him.

I'd imagine last time she probably said something like "What? I have no idea what she's going on about"......simple as that

Apileofballyhoo · 25/09/2019 14:29

Good luck at pick up, jaysus. Sorry this has happened to you, it's very hard to understand.

Derbee · 25/09/2019 14:44

I think your ex did the right thing. I hope C’s husband goes home and unleashes hell. If your ex talks to him again, make sure he mentions C kicking him out, so that C’s husband knows exactly what rumours his bloody wife is spreading about him.

Agree with others, grey rock is fine. But when/if a third party mentions it to you, you do need to defend yourself.

contrary13 · 25/09/2019 15:10

I would still be keeping a close eye on your daughter's involvement with the coven's children, Jaysus, if I were you. I know you believe that it won't trickle on down to the children... but it will.

When I was your daughter's age, my mother had a spectacular falling out with my best friend from toddler age's mother. Oblivious, we carried on playing together at school and - being that this was pre-Social Media/the Internet days - I don't remember even really noticing the lack of after-school playdates, or even the fact that our mothers stood on opposing sides of the school gates, ignoring one another absolutely. What I did notice, however, was a few weeks later, the way in which my best friend suddenly started saying things like "my mum says you're spoiled/naughty/stupid!" and the way in which she effectively behaved like your C did in cutting me out of our friendship group. We were 8 or 9 years old, I had no clue what she was going on about - I wasn't the one who had everything she set eyes on handed to her... I had to wait until my birthday, or the festive season for anything. I also wasn't a naughty child, because I was too terrified to stand up for myself. I did as I was told, when I was told, how I was told (Army Brat, through and through...). Years later, my mother told me that she'd caught my best friend's mother trying to snog my totally not interested father on a night out. Years later, my then-best friend tried to worm her way back into my life, when she realised that my oldest was in the year above her oldest, at the same school we'd attended... and she'd bullied me. I told her that I knew it was all in the past, but that I couldn't be friends with someone who would treat anyone that way. But her mother's embarrassment at being caught trying to latch onto my father (she was divorced, I think, at the time, but I might be wrong about that...), and then her rage at my mother telling her precisely what she thought of her, trickled on down, like shit on a hill, to mangle an old Army saying, to me. Who was clueless/oblivious to what had happened, and bewildered by the nastiness which she saw in another child who had previously been like a sister to her.

Please, Jaysus, don't let similar happen to your daughter. It damaged me for years, made me believe that I was spoiled/naughty/stupid and therefore not worth being liked by my previously close group of friends.

And it's a really good thing that your ex is sticking up for you and your daughter. Let him. Stand your ground. Just make sure the children of the coven don't 'CLK' yours. Flowers

Flossdancing · 25/09/2019 15:22

What a nutter C is! Cant believe shes thinking shes going to get away with all this tbh! Good on your ex for approaching the H! Id be inclined to fill him in completely on the whole situation next time you see him- after all, its not just you shes spreading lies about - its him too. Even the school gossip is spreading this shite for her. At this moment it cant get any worse really. I cant wait for this all to come crashing down around her the bitch Grin

Bigblue1970 · 25/09/2019 15:23

I wouldn't be surprised if the DH of C isn't going back to her and saying anything. I think he is very likely having an affair and his pretend surprise/bemusement is just so he benefits from not having the spotlight put onto him. He knows too well if he stuck up for the OP by giving proof he will be outed for being up to no good with someone else, perhaps one of the others. It just doesn't sit right that this has been going on yet he's acting like a dimwit and that he has no idea what is going on. Yeah right, pull the other one.

familyissue · 25/09/2019 15:51

This is just so strange. What an absolute dickhead C is.

Wtf is she saying to the husband? Was he aware they have cut you all off??

Iloveacurry · 25/09/2019 15:58

Good on your ex I would say! C really thinks she’s going to get away with it doesn’t she. The true will come out eventually. And fuck the lot of them.

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 25/09/2019 16:02

BigBlue that's my reading of this as well.

C's DH is up to no good. Got almost caught out by C, and floundered, perhaps saying it was OP, trying to make out it was just innocent.

She knows DH is up to something, and has put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5. Maybe she's even got some more solid evidence of his behaviour, so has doubled down, even though it's not actually OP that's involved.

Would explain C's irrationality (although would not excuse how it's been directed), and definitely fits with C's DH's reactions - he knows C is wrong about the who, but doesn't want to challenge C too much, because he's on the brink as it is.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 25/09/2019 16:07

I wholeheartedly agree-C’s DH is fucking about-just not with you! She is spinning and losing her mind (doesn’t excuse her behaviour) but she suspects you. He is not going to say anything to her or anyone as he doesn’t want the spotlight on him and his fucking around. As it is, C thinks she has nipped it in the bud, he gets off scotfree and is able to continue fucking whoever it is he is fucking-another letter of the alphabet!
Sorry, but this is not going to end soonFlowers

AryaStarkWolf · 25/09/2019 16:17

Nah I disagree, i don't think the husband is cheating and therefore not saying anything to anyone about the FB messages

Bigblue1970 · 25/09/2019 16:22

Having had a cheating husband who was deceiving me for over a year I have to say he would have not mentioned it either, deflected, acting completely innocent even with evidence that proved it completely. He outright lied to friends who confronted him so when backed in a corner they go into self preservation mode no matter how unbelievable it appears.

ChuckleBuckles · 25/09/2019 16:24

If C suspected OP was having an affair with her husband why would C still be inviting OP over to her home and arranging playdates after she claims to have seen these facebook messages from the OP to C husband? Would anyone willingly and knowingly entertain the other woman in the family home? I think C is full of $hit and just enjoys the drama and having the other members of the alphabet running to offer comfort to her (Ie: be filled in on the latest untrue gossip at Op's expense)

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/09/2019 16:27

Like Arya, I think C has made the whole thing up and is pulling everyone's strings.
Also exciting though it is to her clique, the more grey rock, lack of new updates etc.. the less interesting it will be and it will start to die down and they will find something else to occupy their empty brains.
Don't worry too much about your DD. She has two loving parents and you are doing everything you can. They are not the only people in her class at school. Keep her busy and occupied and organise some playdates or activities outside the clique and you will both get through this. Routine boring pick ups with your earphones in will soon not be worth commenting on and everything will die down. Hope things went well today Jaysus.

Weezol · 25/09/2019 16:28

Keep on with the grey rock. I did it to someone for years and I was told that they found my failure to kick off 'scary' as they didn't know what to expect every time they saw me.

The basic courtesy weirded them out apparently, because they wanted and expected some kind of confrontation or drama and just couldn't work me out.

bakesalesally · 25/09/2019 16:29

How was pick up@JaysusWept ? (I hid in my car for two years to avoid them but I am not good at being brave and didn't want my kids to see I was upset, so I am in awe of your strength!)

AryaStarkWolf · 25/09/2019 16:33

If C suspected OP was having an affair with her husband why would C still be inviting OP over to her home and arranging playdates after she claims to have seen these facebook messages from the OP to C husband? Would anyone willingly and knowingly entertain the other woman in the family home? I think C is full of $hit and just enjoys the drama and having the other members of the alphabet running to offer comfort to her (Ie: be filled in on the latest untrue gossip at Op's expense)

Exactly, the FB messages only came out after she was caught bitching about OP and her trying to brush that under the carpet didn't work

macem · 25/09/2019 16:49

Her DH is just another disciple in the cult of C.

They've all willingly been brainwashed.

StormTreader · 25/09/2019 17:23

She'll have told her DH that JaysusWept has been trying to stir up lies about her. Hes married to her, there's no chance this is the first time she's done this kind of thing in their relationship.
He's probably just ignoring everything, waiting for it to settle as it always does.

Nuffaluff · 25/09/2019 17:26

She may not have chucked him out , but their marriage will be over soon enough because of her awful behaviour. I wouldn’t stand for that if I were him.
I give it a year, tops.

NettleTea · 25/09/2019 17:33

I bet he went away for work, and she decided to keep her kid off school for a couple of days to add to the drama

she cant have been that devastated if they were all sitting around drinking cocktails.

I suspect BS city

SleepyKat · 25/09/2019 17:44

C’s husband must be furious. She is spreading lies about him as well as about you. She’s besmirching his character and making him the subject of school gate gossip. My dh would divorce me I should think if I pulled a stunt like this and I wouldn’t blame him.

C sounds like a total narc.

lololove · 25/09/2019 18:09

You never know what goes on behind closed doors though. He could be as mental as her or up to something and not mentioning it so as not to draw attention to his real affair.

I hope that I'm totally wrong however and he is just as bemused as jaysus and will sort it. Please be a good guy, despite who you're married to Mr Cuntoline!

forumdonkey · 25/09/2019 18:12

I agree with SleepyKat. I also think C's DH will be as pissed as you finding out his DW is claiming he's had an affair etc.

Hopefully if he is upset and confronts her it'll be enough that she wants to forget she's ever said it and it'll be the last she mentions it, even to the other mums.

She may even question the loyalty of the other mums to her if it appears they have been going back to you and speaking about her.

Hopefully your ExH has done you a massive favour

Reallynowdear · 25/09/2019 18:37

Sending love and support OP.

I don't even know what to say about this madness anymore x