Is my DH creepy?

[Startime]

We haven't had sex for 6 months. He barely touches me but after a few drinks he says things like " how much to get your tits out " which I normally just brush aside.

Last night the joke was wearing thin so I just said I really find it creepy and odd when you speak about me like that.

He was obviously in a mood and went to bed alone. I can take a joke but saying why don't you get naked is the worst come on I can think of.

He was like it the night before so I said maybe we just start with a kiss and a cuddle? For context we don't kiss now either. How can you go from nothing to just stripping naked. It seems crazy and feels cheap. If I criticise then he goes in a mood. There is a tension today but I honestly don't know how to talk to him and make him understand that sex starts before the bedroom with kindness and respect.

I do still have a sex drive so it's not me, it's just this awful situation. Any help would really be appreciated. I now feel edgy around him and like he's going to say some inappropriate comment or lunge at me.

Yeah unfortunately does sound cringey. I’m
not surprised you’re turned off.
Has he always been like this? How long have you been married? Just trying to get some context.

Ugh. That's horrible. It would put me right off. He's talking to you like you're a stripper.

Does he treat you badly in other ways, op? My ex was like this with me, but it was one of a whole host of abusive behaviours.

We have been together for 15 years, he can be cold and no empathy but he only speaks like this after a few drinks. I don't think he would dare sober but I can't fathom why he thinks it's ok!

I seem to have killed my own thread.

Does anyone find it hard to approach difficult subjects?

How do I raise this with him? If I talk about anything that is bothering me he becomes extremely defensive and will verbally attack me and say I'm abusive. He doesn't ever acknowledge fault or apologise for any behaviour. I kind of feel like I'm going mad and I'm so tired of living like this.

He sounds vile tbh. Cold, unempathetic, creepy about sex, defensive, attacks you verbally, thinks he is never at fault, accuses you of abuse for daring to raise an issue that's upsetting you. Why on earth would you stay with this man?

Well from your 16.17 post it doesn't sound recoverable, even if he were prepared to go for counselling. Leave the bastard. His true self shows through with a few drinks. Yuck

You can't leave him soon enough. Stop wasting your life with this man.

Probably repeating what he sees in porn 🤢

Yes it is creepy, and would be a huge turn off for most people.

He doesn't see you as a person to be appreciated and who has her own needs, including sexual and intimate. You are a living sex doll who also performs household duties.

I also wonder if he's pornsick - of the decades of porn variety. Totally fucked, incapable of mutual sexual intimacy.

Either way, he's an abusive, disrespectful fuck.
What's even the point? For you, that is.

Maybe he just can't initiate intimacy? My OH used to make "jokey" comments which I found obscene and totally turned me off.

We ended up having it out and he said that he felt more intimate and affectionate after sex whereas for me I needed it as part of the build up.

God, he is foul.

I'm so upset. I found the courage to raise it and said when you speak about me like that, I don't like it. I said I still have a second drive but that type of talk isn't a turn on. He was shocked I said I still had a sex drive and accused me of sleeping with other men! I honestly can't believe it.

He also said our relationship is a sham and has gone to bed and won't engage or talk to me. All because I asked why he said get your tits out or get naked.

Eww what a creep! That is not a turn on how would he feel if you went up to him and said 'get your cock out' tell you what OP say it and see how he reacts! Let him bloody strop he clearly has insecurities about something so maybe try get that out of him. Do you think he has problems with getting up? Could be embarrassed hence saying you're sleeping with other men. Ridiculous thing to say and he is acting childish.

Of course he's pissed off you as a human being have a sex drive, as he prefers to treat and think of you as a mere wank sock and inanimate objects don't have desires or feelings of their own. He is a selfish, misogynistic twat who doesn't want to put effort in but wants quick reward and thinks he's entitled to it.

I feel really sad and alone. I can't believe he accused me of cheating on him. I begged him hi talk to me but he won't engage. This is exactly how it plays out every time I raise anything. This has been winding me up for months but I've just hoped he would get the hint. Maybe he said those things to make me uncomfortable? I don't know.

I would love to try counselling as I want someone else to listen to how he is and then maybe they will be able to have more insight into the situation. I have a lovely friend and he has accused us of being lesbians! She is married with 3 kids! I feel like I'm cracking up :(

He sounds like a thoroughly nasty piece of work. Plucking accusations against you out of thin air rather than confront problems of his own making.

It sounds to me like he's cracking up - don't let him take you down with him!

Get some fresh air, have a coffee/tea/hot chocolate and have a serious think about what you need to do next for you and dc.

Was he maybe trying to start a roleplay thing with you?

Has this man got a small penis!

He definitely wasn't trying to start a role play. It's just awful sleazy comments that I can see coming a mile off. I never respond in a positive way so I can't understand why he talks to me like that.

What does penis size have to do with it? It's not the biggest no but it's not an issue!

He's obviously taking script tips from porn. Who even says things like this?! And after 15yrs he should know better by now...you'd hope.

He's clearly trying to act like a bigger dick than he has!

How do you deal with someone when everyone you raise a real issue they throw back at you with fake accusations? He has now become the hurt party because I'm " having sex with other people " . I have made a hot drink and I'm having a cry. Why is life so hard

At first I thought he was maybe anxious and unsure how to start things off, but from your updates I think he's a bit of a twat. He should have let you talk to him about this, and then you could have had a conversation about what you'd like him to do to initiate (or whether you'd prefer to initiate) sex. But the way he's reacting says you're not going to get anywhere with this, and that he's not interested in changing.
Accusing you of sleeping around is another way of degrading you because you've just pulled him up on his degrading drunken behaviour.