Is my DH creepy?

[Startime]

We haven't had sex for 6 months. He barely touches me but after a few drinks he says things like " how much to get your tits out " which I normally just brush aside.

Last night the joke was wearing thin so I just said I really find it creepy and odd when you speak about me like that.

He was obviously in a mood and went to bed alone. I can take a joke but saying why don't you get naked is the worst come on I can think of.

He was like it the night before so I said maybe we just start with a kiss and a cuddle? For context we don't kiss now either. How can you go from nothing to just stripping naked. It seems crazy and feels cheap. If I criticise then he goes in a mood. There is a tension today but I honestly don't know how to talk to him and make him understand that sex starts before the bedroom with kindness and respect.

I do still have a sex drive so it's not me, it's just this awful situation. Any help would really be appreciated. I now feel edgy around him and like he's going to say some inappropriate comment or lunge at me.

He’s disgusting, OP.

Some men believe that being in a relationship means they are entitled to sex. In early dating they are attentive, affectionate gentle. Then they settle down and think 'get em out' is acceptable. Rind him that you are a human being with feelings. If a man on the street behaved that way he'd be done for harassment. It's not acceptable from someone who is supposed to love you.

It worries me that his response, when you quite reasonably explain you don't like how he was talking to you, was to throw a load of stuff back at you and then shut down. That's not ok.

I finally managed to sit down with him and talk. He admitted he shouldn't speak to me like that, but he wouldn't discuss why he has ignored me for days since the initial row. He said he didn't want to try counselling and could barely look at me. I can't understand what he's doing. I've never seen him like this.

"He was shocked I said I still had a sex drive and accused me of sleeping with other men!"
"I have a lovely friend and he has accused us of being lesbians!"

I was going to defend him and suggest maybe he's frustrated and thinks his attempts at humor might break the ice. But then I read those comments, and yeah those are a bit creepy and he doesn't sound very nice.

This is an abuse tactic called stonewalling. He is ignoring you as a means of controlling you. His behaviour is really worrying.

Please listen to what others have said OP. This is an abusive, controlling relationship.

If he is unwilling to try counselling you have two options.

1. Stay out and resign yourself to a life of misery, being barked at to get get naked for his pleasure, to be accused of cheating and to have a husband with the communication skills of a warm turd.
2. Leave. Yes it will be hard, but there are organisations that can help. Are your family / friends able to help? I don’t know how old your DC are but if they haven’t already, they WILL start picking up on this awful way he treats you and form their own ideas of this is what relationships are like. Do you really want your daughter to be subjected to a husband like yours, or your son to become a woman abusing troglodyte like your husband?

If he's abusive, joint counselling is very bad idea.