A few months ago years of arguing came to a halt when my mum said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
When I was a dc she would act as if she didn’t want me. I have siblings and it was clear I could have second hand things, they could have new, even though I wasn’t the youngest. She was always telling me I was unkind I didn’t share like my siblings I didn’t do this like my siblings etc and she would beat me with things behind everyone’s back and then I would like play up when my relatives came round our house and she’d say to everyone somethings wrong with me I’m an awful dc. She’d encourage my siblings to beat me too and even onto adulthood if my sibling beat me she’d watch and say I deserve it.
Unfortunately over time my whole family believed her about me being awful and if I try to stick up for myself as an adult they say oh but you were always a problem. They don’t know how I was treated.
I tried to tell my siblings but again they say I deserve to be treated this way I am a horrible person. They don’t speak to me. I am disgusting and horrible according to them for one reason or another,
My mum has taken my whole family from me and continued to try to manipulate others from liking me. I will never know why. I asked her and she denies it. I look at childhood photos and she’s never near me. Always cuddling my siblings.
A few months ago she pulled me aside and said I’m not leaving you anything in my will. I’m leaving it all to your siblings. It was only then that I could truly say to myself this is real. I’m not making it up she really doesn’t like me. Of course she told no one else about this. I said I didn’t think that was ok but she shrugged her shoulders
A few days later she told me that anything she owned of value that was in my house she wants it back now (she had left some jewellery for me to take to repair (& pay for as I still pay for a lot of things for her)
She acted like I was stealing it or something she let herself in my house without asking and was going through things to get it when I caught her and said I’d happily give it back. She just kept saying over and over give me back my jewellery because I was taking too long getting it out of where I’d put it for safekeeping. I have never taken anything from anyone. I told her to get out of my house. I opened my front door and I did shout here and said get out get out of my house. I could see on her face the disbelief me daring to say anything back to her.
After she called me up and I said I’m not going to stay silent anymore about the way she treats me. I’m not pretending everything’s fine and she said didn’t want to talk to me anymore she kept pausing and leaving long silences and I kept softly saying ok that’s ok and she kept pausing as if I was going to maybe beg for her not to but in all honesty I’m so relieved. She hasn’t contacted me since. She’s also effectively cut off her granddc who she seemed to like.
I find it all bizarre and it hurts so so much but not because of her but because my siblings have a nice relationship with her and she finally confirmed I was not one of them with the whole will thing. I don’t even know why I’m rambling really, just hurting today and don’t want to tell anyone in RL what’s going on. Feel like no one will believe me. On top of this a friend told me my mums been going to everyone I know and telling them I have been so awful to her I am a nasty person.
I am just so sad as I don’t know how long I will have to put up with her damaging my friendships in a small town.
I don’t even know who she’s said it to as this friend took months to tell me as she said she didn’t know what it was all about and my mums always been such a lovely person and even now I wonder who she believed as my mum fakes being nice to everyone which again is what makes me sad. It really is only me who she seems to hate so much and I really don’t know why but it’s been from early childhood.