Completely infatuated with uni tutor

[user1496231209]

Firstly in no way am I going to make any kind of move while I'm his student as I know how inappropriate that would be

I'm a 2nd year and I have a new uni tutor who I fancy the pants off. He's not my usual type at all, and he's 12 years old than me although I am a mature student at 26. I know he's single through conversation and whenever we've had tutorial there's been insane eye contact and laughing etc where it usually veers off into other subjects

He'll email me on the weekend/late at night in response to my emails or just to check in to see how I am with things. When we talk I almost forget I'm a student and he's my tutor as we talk 'freely' if you like where we don't worry about the occasional swear word etc

After a email conversation with the course leader where he made a mistake he emailed me directly after laughing about how he told me he was always f*cking things up and how it was great to chat that day

Has anyone else had this before? How the hell do you be professional as such when you've got this kind of Crush?

Thank you for your replies it's really appreciated

Wait and see. I know two women who ended up married to their post grad supervisors. They had to be very discreet while still students though.

Maybe you could start by delaying your replies when he emails you. I'm kind of concerned for you, because he must know you fancy him or he wouldn't be behaving like this. Put a few boundaries in, I know it will be hard but you need to make sure you are safe. Alarm bells are ringing just reading your post! Please be careful

The fact that some marry theirs doesn’t make it better. Creeps and the rest can still marry you know?

I must be missing something. So he chats during tutorials and goes off on random subjects, emails you late at night. All academics email late at night/at weekends because that's when there is time to catch up on admin. Chatting about off topic issues with mature students is also standard when they're the members of a class that are most engaged and have most in common with the lecturer. I think you're reading too much into his behaviour

I'm also confused about what year you are in? It's Welcome Week this week in the city I live in, I can't see many other Uni's starting much earlier than this week. That aside - as people have said there should be a consensual relationship policy for your Uni covering relationships between staff & colleagues and staff & students. In this era of #MeToo I do think it would be naive of a lecturer to be coming on to a student in any obvious way so you could well be reading more into it than is actually there. Maybe also read up on limerance and see if it gives you any insight into your crush (but try to avoid any of the limerance enabling threads on MN)

Here’s a big little secret, most men fancy nearly all women 10 years younger than them

This gave me a little chuckle 😁