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Original poster

How should I reply to this text?

999 replies

JaysusWept · 12/09/2019 10:34

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

OP posts:
Winterlife · 14/09/2019 21:09

Who has this amount of time and energy to expend on such unproductive negativity?

Are you kidding? A great many people love this type of drama.

I worked, so didn't pick up our kids, but my husband didn't start work until after their school day. He saw this type of stuff daily. Often, it was women who spoke other languages, ones he could understand, and they'd be recanting all the gossip about other mothers (and him!) within earshot. When our youngest reached the last grade where they'd all be in the same school, he turned around and responded to them in their language. He said the looks on their faces, as they scanned past conversations about him, were priceless.

I would not say anything to C's husband in OP's shoes. It will make OP look crazy. I'd block C, and L, hold my head high, and let C's actions speak for themselves. I wouldn't think much of "M" liking the Facebook message, that may have occurred before she heard the story.

The reality is, some people will believe C, because that's the way people are. But others will see her for the crazy lady she is. I'm in my fifties, and from what I have seen, life generally is fair. C will "get hers", eventually. OP likely won't see it.

EggysMom · 14/09/2019 21:16

C's husband is playing away, and being sneaky. He's got the OW to set up a fake FB account, bearing the OP's name; then if C should ever wonder about him receiving messages, he can make out that they are from "her friend" the OP ... Except that C has obviously now seen the content of those messages, isn't happy, and thinks the OP is genuinely the other party. Very sneaky of the husband, I reckon; it's akin to hiding the OW phone number under a male name on his phone.

sailingclosetothewind · 14/09/2019 21:16

You must be beyond angry. Ignore her op. What a disgrace. Almost feel sorry for her dh except he almost certainly cheating, she just has the wrong person. She deserves your pity, what a mess.

Original poster
JaysusWept · 14/09/2019 21:18

I’ve spoken with M - unfortunately - and can you believe this - C is unable to produce the FB messages as her husband deleted them? What bad luck! Sad Surely you’d especially keep messages like those!?
However, C has told M that I was messaging her husband about work I needed doing in my house and “inviting him over” and being flirty! Never fucking happened. C’s husband is a plumber. Should I, as a single feeble female, ever be unable to do work needed in my house, I have a dad, 2 brothers and my DD’s dad (who I get on alright with, despite him being a fuckwit). And guess what my dad does for a living? He’s a fucking plumber! And I’m sure she knows this, which makes this story even weirder!

OP posts:
sauvignonblancplz · 14/09/2019 21:23

Just leave it and I wouldn’t be letting the other women know it’s bothering you. I reckon it will be all being fed back.
Take a step back and follow the advice earlier in the thread.
These are stupid women , behaving like idiots .

Winterlife · 14/09/2019 21:25

And guess what my dad does for a living? He’s a fucking plumber!

That's hilarious.

Does "M" believe her?

I'd be tempted not to block her, although I wouldn't respond.

Shefliesonherownwings · 14/09/2019 21:26

Wow what a total nutjob C is! I am reading in amazement. Even if you had been sending messages to her husband, surely she would have confronted you about it, rather than sending stupid messages to another friend. I know that's what I would do. Her text message doesnt match up to her story about the alleged messages so obviously she is lying and massively backtracking now to make you out to be the one at fault. Would be so interesting to her Ls take on this, and whether she heard about the 'mesages' before you got that text. Any word from her?

Expo · 14/09/2019 21:27

Ok so the funny thing is. If this WERE all true then when she accidentally sent you the text in the first place she wouldn’t have said it was some woman at work. She would have straight out asked you about the FB messages. But she didn’t. She denied and said that it was meant for someone else.

Scarydinosaurs · 14/09/2019 21:35

I agree with you- something has kicked off with her husband and something has made her blame you.

What a dick.

“Chosen not to be friends with me?”

Delusional cow.

Cherrysoup · 14/09/2019 21:40

She’s clearly not right in the head. Playing the victim? What, because you’re single and she’s not? Not only is she batshit, she’s also a fantasist.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 14/09/2019 21:41

That's pure bullshit OP, she can't provide the messages because her husband never had them in the first place.
Presumably her husband didn't bring up these supposed "invites" to your house on the school run!?

Another one here who thinks L is having an affair with the husband and crazy lady is aware that somethings going on, and pointing the finger at you.

Original poster
JaysusWept · 14/09/2019 21:42

As daft as this may sound, I’m glad that the ‘fb messages’ she told to M were so pathetic. Even if I did message her husband about a plumbing issue - which i would never do because my dad is a plumber! - what’s all this ‘flirting with’ shite? And how convenient the fb messages have been deleted...

She’s made herself out to be a total fanny, and I think others will (hopefully!) realise that.

OP posts:
Winterlife · 14/09/2019 21:50

Deleted Facebook messages can be recovered.

itswinetime · 14/09/2019 21:56

See it's all ready happening she is unraveling her own story..

Why would her innocent husband delete the messages?

If your single are you not allowed to ask professionals to do work in your house if they are male without it being flirty?

Just sit back and let her make a tit of herself! I would be cautious around M to she is a bit to involved in all of this!

LazyDaisey · 14/09/2019 21:56

Sadly I think you “playing the victim” is a dig at your past issues. You know, when you thought they were being your supportive friend and had your back? At least you found out how shite she is when you’re in a stronger place in your life.

familyissue · 14/09/2019 21:59

What's Ms opinion on the messages?

BumbleBeee69 · 14/09/2019 22:05

She's dangerous OP, she is seriously dangerous.. I'm stunned Flowers

BumbleBeee69 · 14/09/2019 22:06

I'm furious on your behalf too by the way. Angry

Wolfcub · 14/09/2019 22:09

She’s clearly batshit op. No doubt she will also turn on others in the group eventually.

bringbacksideburns · 14/09/2019 22:14

She's poison.

Most grown ups would hold their hands up in this situation and apologise and say - Yes, you caught me out, I was being a bitch. Instead she's made it ten times worse.

But if she persists in concocting this story and repeating it to everyone I would definitely be mentioning slander to her husband if you bump into him and making sure that message gets across to her too via yoyr mutual friends that you will contact your solicitor if she persists talking shite and can prove its all lies .

Annaskies · 14/09/2019 22:16

Wow she sounds juvenile.

I reckon she's an insanely jealous type and they've had the "which one of my friends do you think is the most attractive" convo, or maybe he was complimentary about you as a male poster upthread suggested. When someone is very insecure or jealous things like that can really fester. Hence the being off with you. She's backed herself into a corner though with the fb lie.

Original poster
JaysusWept · 14/09/2019 22:17

@Winterlife How can they be recovered? I’ll pass this info on.

Feedback so far seems to be that they can’t believe she’s pulling this shite. No idea what L thinks, and don’t care either.
When I said earlier about I wouldn’t have messaged her husband because my dad is a plumber, I maybe should have said that I wouldn’t even have messaged him directly anyway! If this feeble female had needed help I’d have always gone through my friend. I never knew her husband well enough to message directly.

OP posts:
stephf72 · 14/09/2019 22:20

As others have said it’s DARVO to the letter. Please be careful Op she is unscrupulous and when this happened to me her next move was to use the kids as weapons, I wouldn’t be surprised if she talks to the school saying there are problems between you. I can’t see her stopping I’m afraid. It wouldn’t surprise me if they fake some messages to show people as well. I’m sorry this has happened, it is so shit, sending hugs.

SandyGusset · 14/09/2019 22:20

How to retrieve messages:

How should I reply to this text?
Winterlife · 14/09/2019 22:21

On a phone:

  1. Download a file explorer for Android or iOS.
  2. Open the ES file explorer app.
  3. Enter the folder and select “Data folder.”
  4. Find the folders that are related to your applications.
5 Select the “cache” folder and locate the fb_temp folder.

Look for the files you want to keep and extract them from the folder.