How should I reply to this text?

[JaysusWept]

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

Fair enough but it's gone to shit like most people predicted.
Hopefully the friendship group won't fall apart now because they have to choose.

Never understand why people come on here for advice - get excellent advice then proceed to do the opposite. 🤷‍♀️

And, what do you consider that was, since different people are saying different things?
Speak to her, don't speak to her, text them, don't text them.

It's hardly gone to fucking shit if a couple of drama queens have left a WA group

I'd call K now, explain briefly and in a light tone. Say you don't want to feed the drama so you'd appreciate her discretion but you thought you would have to say something as the others have come out of the chat.

Then stop engaging with it all.

As I said, fair enough ultimately your decision! But I don't mean those pair. I just hope she doesnt get to the other friendships that you value.

I would think that it will only "go to shit" if the rest of the group decide they want nothing to do with Op.

If C (&L?) have left the group, that's entirely up to them.

If it was me and you wanted to remain friends with the other 3, I would speak to K and see what she says. You never know what the others true feelings about the 2 that have left are

And, what do you consider that was, since different people are saying different things?

I'm pretty sure what @Ihatefootball86 was referring to was @ElspethFlashman's advice and all the many comments agreeing with it.

But it doesn't matter, what's done is done! However, this is now NOT the time to stay silent - you need to tell the other members of the group what happened, otherwise C and L will give them their warped versions instead.

OP - you sound normal, and nice. Why would you even want to be friends with these people?

Call K and tell her what happened, before the witches get onto them

Honestly, I am with you on the cba with drama but these women sound absolutely pathetic

@ElspethFlashman has the best post on here.
A campaign of targeted indifference! This is MN gold. I'm using all the points!

Ps. Agree with PP. The text was clearly about you. C and L aren't your friends. Now begin your campaign of very targeted indifference!

Calling C just escalated it - Elspeths advice was very sound.

Now that it’s been escalated, you need to text group and say C texted you by mistake and you had a quick chat about it, not sure what’s happened since as all seemed ok. No details need to be given. Separately tell the closest one what really happened and make it clear you don’t want any drama.

Definitely just call K. She’s your mate. Tell her exactly what you told us. Do not under any circumstances write anything down and don’t do anything as a group chat. It’s just drama. Calling is so much better. You then will have a two way chat with your mate and can explain so much better what happened.

I have to say I firstly agreed with Elspeth not to say anything to C in real life but I do think that you only know your relationship with C and of course I bet most of us would have spoken to her. Great you did that by phone. And she was texting you asking things so you had to do something. What I find odd is that she asked you for a coffee and then when you called her she hung up. She is probably suuuuuuper embarrassed on so many counts - that she accidentally sent you the text, that it was so nasty about your laugh, that it was obvious they had been bitching about you before and that it puts the state of her marriage in focus.

C and L sound like hard work anyway so let them go. Calmly tell K what happened. Decide whether you will tell the other two and job done. Move on

And I fully agree with @adalbertwaffling. Now is NOT the time to stay silent. Clear up what has happened with K on a call ASAP before C and L get to her.

Agreed. Talk to K. I think it’s good that L has left the group too. Speaks volumes.

RTFT. I think something should be said to the remaining three too. Not too verbose, maybe just a screenshot of her message with a brief explanation. "I received this message from C minutes after doing the school run with her husband. It had been meant for L. When I asked C about it she got very defensive and then left the group chat. A little awkward now, I guess... " and leave it at that.

I don’t understand why everybody is saying to do it via group chats and WA and writing stuff down. That is risky and could go wrong creating even more drama.

Clearly I don’t mean everybody

I would let them know, basic facts with a screenshot.
"It's all a bit silly and confusing. C sent this text to me after seeing me with her husband. She says it was about someone else and meant for L, I don't know if that's the case and don't really care but C obviously feels it's a big deal."

Pepsi Jesus no! Then YOU look unhinged and catty, not them. Dragging everyone else into it is lunacy.

For that its worth I would have spoken to C if I were in that situation, the defensiveness and leaving the group on her part is because of guilt and the fact she’s been caught bitching.

Speak to k and explain what’s happened.

@JaysusWept

Ignore the comment about not taking advice. You have.

The general consensus is to call K.

And don't write anything.

Good luck!

Do not write anything. Honestly it will get screenshotted.

Just want to say you are also not obliged to take any advice at all. You can seek opinions but ultimately how you play it depends on your specific circumstances and friendship dynamics with everyone in the group, the intricacies of which we can’t possibly know.

If it was me, I'd speak to K and ignore the others, I don't continue with friends who bitch about me.

Could you forward the text to K, say that C sent you this in error yesterday and when you called her to ask about it everything went a bit nuts. I would say that you're as bemused as everyone else about her behaviour, but also that if the text is about you, you're shocked, a bit insulted and sad. It's not just about other people's feelings and you need to be able to express your pain or else what is the point of that friendship group?

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