Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

Haha. Just read @UnimpressorOfCocks thread. So funny how many people got offended! Nice to see you on here. I still think it's tricky to assert your needs with someone new. Even though I always think I can until
I get there. And if I'd had sex with someone once and not orgasmed i would hope he'd rectify that the second time round!! Wonder if he read it in the Star. Sounds like that might be his sort of paper!!

@shitwithsugaron I'm sure it's just nerves over your course. Re your phone call when MrB was going on about the ex, I wouldn't have been able to hold my tongue . Something similar happened v.early on when MrC was telling me about a woman who he had really liked but the feelings weren't reciprocated - he was a bit pissed and was really going on about how gorgeous she was, such a lovely person, what great friends they'd been blah blah. I lost it in true JeSuis style, suggested (understatement of the century) perhaps if she was so fucking wonderful he might not be ready to move on (it was years ago!) and dumped his arse on the spot. Needless to say, there was much back tracking and apologising from him and we resolved things that night, but he's never done it again...

@BatshitCrazyWoman Hope you feel better soon, MrBC sounds so lovely.

@Ant330 So glad that you've met MsTiny after your hard time with MsHF.

@UnimpressorOfCocks best user name ever. Sorry about your experience, but at least you can laugh about it. Irons (in the fire) are just people you are chatting to, could easily be candidates or prospects I suppose, but that's all a bit Alan Sugar - essential to give them a descriptive name to start with for other thread users otherwise we get confused - so MrChef, MrTeacher, MrHoldingDruggedTiger (nooooo!) etc. The consensus is that the full nickname can be dropped to an initial when you are more of an item and we all know who the heck you're talking about.

@Savoretti - How are things with MrTri?

@TooOldForThis67 Good for you, MrSolid was being a twat and you deserve better than that, especially on your birthday!

@Ginmel I think @WooMaWang has already had some ginger and that's what's got her into her current potential predicament

@onlymebutdifferent Glad you've got another date lined up. I know we're all different, but when MrAbs ended things after 4 months I got back on the apps the same night (slightly pissed). I was certainly heartbroken at being dumped, but distraction is a method that works well for me when trying to get over under someone.

Just putting a little shout out to @MrDrummer, @Auba14, @richdeniro, @Marlboroandmalbec34, @kerykra, @Eesha, @Peanuthedz and @Coffeeandchocolate9 - hope you guys are all OK

Ahh, JeSuisPrest, ah, thanks for the definition of irons. I guess the guy I like is an iron then. I'll call him dancing man as I met him dancing and will see him again at a dancing thing on Thursday.

Aw thanks Jesuis I am quietly lurking in the background.

So very quickly Happy belated birthday tooold.

Good luck with the course shitwith I know mr B is going through the ringer but I would be v annoyed too

OMG a hypotethical baby wooma - exciting

unimpressor welcome- your thread was hilarious, so glad you are joining us.

Welcome all newbie. Shout out to all those who are meeting great people and having good dates. Chin up to everyone who is not having a great time. Sorry for the vagueness I am v behind.

So I am 9 days into my dating ban. I have so much going on, signed up for loads of activities with friends and colleagues that I would usually avoid but might be good fun. Feeling much better about myself actually and not missing Mr Big. Really feeling the urge to reinstall Tinder and swipe but I think if I feel much better after 9 days how much better will I feel at the end of the month?

I have a few irons that's I'm chatting to @JeSuisPrest - we'll see if any hold my interest. You're right about the distraction of swiping. I haven't spoken/text MrT since Saturday so doing ok and actually not really missing him as looking back he became very selfish and wasn't interested in what was going on in my life (funny how you manage to find excuses for stuff you know is wrong).

@Marlboroandmalbec34 glad you're not feeling too bad and hope that Mr Right is just around the corner.

Ah I just wanted to thank this thread, am having the most stressy horrible day at work, have had the worst meeting ever and decided I needed 15 minutes to decompress and read @UnimpressorOfCocks thread. Am now dying laughing at 'You think I have not been respectful? No, baby, if you knew me you would know I have a pure heart'. Thank god I am working from home today, that is priceless

Aw and Shitwith good luck at college tonight!

Supercali impressed you are doing your bit for international relations!

@JeSuisPrest

I think @WooMaWang has already had some ginger and that's what's got her into her current potential predicament

I laughed out loud at that on the train very loudly. Yep I'm one of those twats laughing at theirs phone

Just catching up! Ooh @WooMaWang...keeping my ears peeled for new one way or the other!

@shitwithsugaron I would be fed up too and think you have been very understanding and patient with Mr B.

I have had some emotional news this morning re: one of my children and Mr Ad is being so lovely. We cant see each other for 10 days now dues to his work schedule/my lack of child free time and I so want to see him but he is being really supportive anyway. The next time I see him I am meeting some of his AA friends so I am honoured that he wants me to do so.

@jesuisprest bless you for remembering everyone 😊
Have also been thinking of those we haven’t heard from in a while. Hope all busy dating...

MrTri and I are fine
Maybe he was having a quiet day on Sunday, tired, pissed off, who knows. I hate that OLD and past bad relationships make us so paranoid. He has never given me cause to be unsure - it’s all in my head.
So we continue happily - kind of on a one-day-at-a-time basis - but I think we are on the same page and really that’s all I can wish for at the moment.

Marlboro - here's hoping you will meet that rarest of things - a decent man in a real life situation - old school dating!

Sunshine I don't know your back story but it is great that Mr Ad is being so supportive and introducing you to his own support group. I hope everything is going to be ok with your child.

Savoretti - Sounds like things are going well with Mr Tri. You are right about the baggage of past experiences. I guess just being aware of it so that we can work around it is all we can do.

Thanks JeSuis ,I'm just lurking in the background at the moment .I deleted off pof after my last date,I cant remember what I called him but he was the one who was going to get his seventeen year old daughter a sports car and I just thought ' nah,this will never work ( there my daughter in her fifteen year old banger) but he was at least pretty normal in other ways so did give me hope for future dates. Just settling asd son into secondry then I shall go back on.
I chatted to Mr drummer on the phone about a month ago but been so busy you have just reminded me to check in on him again!

Did someone mention you can use bumble on a tablet or laptop? I'm sick of pof and same faces from 10yrs ago. I know I need to get a proper phone but at least with my Nokia I dont get any upset or anxiety with this what's app thing everyone talks about!

yeah you can use bumble on a laptop

This thread moves too fast for me but I'm glad to see things are positive for @Ant330 and @Sunshineandflipflops

Glad things are working out @savarotti. I think you might be where I am with Mr R. It's been four months now and I think both our negative experiences pop up and sometimes cause anxieties but in general things are good and I am still very, very smitten. Obviously we had our exclusivity chat ages ago but we had a chat recently and while it's still early days he says he sees me as a potential ltr, it's definitely not just casual. I hope he means it, I have seen too many promising relationships on this thread end unexpectedly.

Superb news @stealthninjamum very happy for you and Mr R

@shitwithsugaron I'm really glad you are standing up to mr b. Also hope treating you rudely whilst being kind to x is on there. If he's properly sorry he will demonstrate change and continue to do so

I’m out with Mr Skinny tonight, feeling a bit deflated, things have been going ok but i have a feeling I may get bored if things don’t move along a little, I’m not actually sure how I want things to move along (so it’s probably me being silly), I see him 2 or 3 times a week, we do the same kind of things, grab something to eat, go for a walk, back to his for sex, I do the driving (45 minutes each way), he’s only driven to mine once. It is easier that I go to his because I have 2 teens who are pretty much here all the time but it’s costing me a fortune in fuel. I’m not sure I’m ready to introduce him to my kids and I don’t really want to meet his kids yet so we are kind of stuck with me doing the driving back and forth.

@shitwithsugaron you're being more kind than I would be! Stress doesn't mean to treat people around you like shit! He should appreciate you and treat you better than his bloody ex!

@Lovemusic33 how long you been seeing Mr Skinny? I think once you have those 'I might get bored' feelings and thoughts then it may be time for a conversation?

I have a new iron on pof I'll call him Mr Media as he's a radio presenter and conversation is flowing and he seems nice.

only we have been seeing each other for 2 months (maybe a bit longer). I do enjoy seeing him but we only really get one whole day together every couple of weeks so just see each other in the evenings. I stayed at his not last weekend the one before but can't do this often as i have no one to look after my dc's over night (both teens but youngest has Autism). I'm scared of introducing him to my kids as dd2 is severely autistic and I'm not sure he really understands what this means. We haven't really spoke about introducing kids, I have been single a lot longer than him and his kids are still adjusting (I don't want to rush things). I do enjoy the time i spend with him but I do tend to get bored easily of I do the same thing over and over.

@JeSuisPrest Hallo!!! Yup I'm still here but still on my lonesome self. I was seeing a few people very casually but nothing like the long term thing I really would like. Any tips and reviews on my profile would be completely appreciated!!! I get likes on Tinder but no message, all those on OkCupid don't seem to be my type. Bumble again, matches but no real responses if I do write. I can't be that bad...can I?...

So since February I have spent my child free nights either on dates, tindering or with Mr Big or with friends.
I moved to a beautiful city when I left stbxh to be closer to my family as he was a horrible arse but I never make the most of it as busy with 2 preschoolers/ work etc etc.
Tonight I am child free and my car is broken so I have walked home from work in the sun. Just stopped at a gorgeous little bar very close to my house that I have never tried. Just having a 🍷 on my own. Nice to treat yourself sometimes!

Also just booked a super work trip to the USA for next month 🙌

Who needs a man anyway???

raises hand ummm me.

Just kidding and glad to hear you sounding so positive Marlbs

I’m in my usual work hotel I do once a week, haven’t been for a while because of DCs holidays but the lovely receptionist just said welcome back, on your own tonight? Reminding me my “boyfriend” came last time, MrHF. It’s the same room, so now I miss him horribly and want to message to say. But that would be insane right?? I just don’t get why someone travels 8hrs for you one week and dumps you the next?

I’m actually going out to dinner with someone who always takes me out and treats me when here, a solid funny dependable person who would be with me like a shot if I said yes. But he’s a major work stakeholder so a huge no no. Must remember to set good boundaries and not be an idiot just because I miss Mr HF.

Would it be VERY VERY bad to set up a Tinder profile purely seeking a FWB locally for when I’m here as it’s my only child free guilt free night each week? I’m looking for a relationship but think it could be a distraction until something else builds?

Oh and I've told Mr Smart I'm not comfortable meeting again until proceedings have started. Just doesn't feel right and instinct is a good thing. Properly deleted from WhatsApp, contact's etc. Have told him to get in touch if he wants when the proceedings have actually started.

Mr Young is however keeping me amused. He is quite endearing.

@WhatWhyWhen why not? Re. Fwb on your guilt free night away.