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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you get annoyed by texts from someone your dating?

97 replies

harrietsi · 04/09/2019 22:05

I don't know but sometimes I feel like I annoy him when I text and he can't be bothered to chat.
Then other times he's chatty.
About 15 mins ago I text him saying I think he would enjoy a certain program on Netflix and I'm watching it ...
He just replied "get it watched"
That's it nothing else.
I haven't really spoke to him today ..he got home from work about 8.30 pm so not much chat today

OP posts:
harrietsi · 04/09/2019 22:22

I've just text him again there and no reply
He's been on WhatsApp but didn't look at message

OP posts:
lifegoes · 04/09/2019 22:29

Stop texting him.

Schwibble · 04/09/2019 22:30

Call him instead of texting perhaps.

harrietsi · 04/09/2019 22:36

We never chat on phone
Do you think maybe he just wants to relax ?

OP posts:
PJ67 · 04/09/2019 22:37

Can't see the problem. If I got in from work at 8.30pm I imagine I couldn't be bothered texting all night. He probably just wants to have his tea and relax. Don't think you should worry about this. Don't text again tonight though.

Schwibble · 04/09/2019 22:37

Maybe he's tired after work and like you say, wants to relax.

How long have you been seeing him and what's he like in person?

harrietsi · 04/09/2019 22:40

Only been seeing him 3 months now
He's fine in person
We speak every day but sometimes more than others
He text when he was on his lunch (tea time ) and we exchanged about 10 texts and then I text him half 9/9.45 ish and obviously didn't want to chat

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/09/2019 22:43

Stop texting multiple times a day? That would drive me mad. Sounds very intense and a bit needy.

Chocmallows · 04/09/2019 22:44

He's probably tired, give him a break and let him text tomorrow.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2019 22:46

If its actual conversation it's fine but I had an ex who daily text asking how I was, it just felt like something he felt he should do or a way to make me message him every morning. Drove me mad.

SparklyMagpie · 04/09/2019 22:46

Why would you even bother to continue to message?

JustHereWithPopcorn · 04/09/2019 22:47

He probably just wants to relax after finishing work at that time. I would say text a little less and wait for him to text you a few times. Keep him on his toes it's only early days Smile

Schwibble · 04/09/2019 22:52

He might be feeling a bit smothered with all the texts, or might not even like texting as a form of communication.

I know it's hard but try to give him some space.

How often do you see him?

harrietsi · 04/09/2019 22:55

He text me first this afternoon.
I hadn't text him all day.

OP posts:
EAIOU · 04/09/2019 22:55

Dont think I text my DP 10 times a day and we have a little one.

He must be tired and wants some time to unwind and relax. Dont overthink it.

Wolfiefan · 04/09/2019 22:59

He texts you.
You text back.
And stop.
Don’t send the other 9!!!!!

2Rebecca · 04/09/2019 23:21

I get bored texting. 1 or 2 is fine but I cant be bothered with prolonged text conversations, I'd rather have a quick phone call. I don't like long phone calls either. Nothing to do with how much I love someone. I don't like feeling chained to my phone and typing about nothing. I don't care what TV programme someone is watching.

Windmillwhirl · 04/09/2019 23:38

Sounds like you need his replies as confirmation he is still interested. Is that the case?

Try and not overthink it all. If he's not interested there is nothing you can do about it.

I'd also let him instigate some contact.

supercali77 · 05/09/2019 04:54

Is everyone who's replying to this actually dating in the modern age? Because sending 10 texts a day in the early stages Is utterly normal. OP I would back off from this man. Yeah he may be tired and want to relax but.....'Get it watched' ?? Heres how a considerate adult might do it 'thanks for the recommend, going to rest now have a nice evening ' ..... not hard right? He sounds like an asshat.

category12 · 05/09/2019 06:12

Sounds like an asshat.

Yep. (You always have to defend how much you text or message on here). Personally I'd back off from him, I think you're wasting your time.

Jennifer2r · 05/09/2019 06:24

I really hate texting unless there's a point to it. Your example is a good one. You told him what telly you were watching, fine, and made a recommendation, he acknowledged it, what else do you want from that?

SimonJT · 05/09/2019 06:48

He might not have time, he might be tired, my boyfriend is abroad at the minute and messaged me at 11:30 last night, I saw it, but I was knackered so I didn’t reply and went to bed.

daisychain01 · 05/09/2019 07:08

Texting is a modern disease, it's a poor substitute to meaningful communication. It's also very annoying because it sets an expectation and obligation of a reply which is not good in the early days of a relationship (claustrophobic).

DH and I never got into texting in our early days for practical reasons, he's got big hands and finds texting a pain in the bum. He'll do it for functional purposes only, quick, factual, not chatty or ping-pong for 10 messages, no way!

Why don't you find out how he prefers to keep in touch?

Eckhart · 05/09/2019 07:10

Some people aren't texty. I almost left my ex before our first date (we'd met socially and expressed an interest in each other), because she was already texting me good morning, goodnight, 'I can't believe I've chosen to wear heels today' etc, as if we were a married couple or something. I really liked her, too. The over-texting was a huge turn-off.

His response is crap though. I wouldn't like that in your shoes. It's not a 1 word answer, but it's just as dismissive. If he doesn't like you texting so much, he needs to respectfully tell you. Do you want a dismissive partner?

Notcoolmum · 05/09/2019 07:22

I agree with @supercali77
You need to communicate in the early stages of dating. His response was rude. No matter how tired he was.

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