Would you get annoyed by texts from someone your dating?

[harrietsi]

I don't know but sometimes I feel like I annoy him when I text and he can't be bothered to chat.
Then other times he's chatty.
About 15 mins ago I text him saying I think he would enjoy a certain program on Netflix and I'm watching it ...
He just replied "get it watched"
That's it nothing else.
I haven't really spoke to him today ..he got home from work about 8.30 pm so not much chat today

I can't stand hot and cold, it confuses the shit out of me.

Basically, if it's right, there's none of this angst. The right person for you will match your type of communication. One of the things I first liked about DP was that he always messaged or called when he said he would, there was no game playing.

Imo, he's not the one for you.

I just feel anxious all the time
This isn't good OP.
Please take a huge step back right now.
Put your phone down and go out for a walk.
Or turn it off and put it in another room for a while.
It really shouldn't be like this so early on.
None of it is doing you any good.
Stop over-thinking
Stop over-analysing
Just chill out about it and don't message him.
And don't respond immediately when he does message you.
Assume it's a casual thing for him and if you want more then you are not compatible.

OP 3 threads since Sunday. - 3 threads in 3 days questioning his actions and motives.

Please walk away. He's not interested. He's using you when he is bored because YOU ARE AVAILABLE!!! YOU jump. He's called you intense all the time and to be quite frank you are coming across intense in these 3 threads.

He has made you like this. He has damaged your mental health. Because you don't believe his actions. Walk away.

WSS ^^^

Agree with the other posters saying walk away. I’ve been in this situation before and the hot/cold thing usually means they’re not that interested and/or they’re seeing other people. When someone is into you, you just KNOW and there isn’t any angst or over analysing messages. Yes, everyone has their own communication style but if you’re consistently noticing a shift in behaviour then something clearly isn’t right.

What is it about this guy that you like so much? I’ve seen some of your other threads and I’m just intrigued as to what it is about him that makes you want to hang onto him.

@lifegoes absolutely bang on

I don't even know what I like about him anymore.
I miss how it was at the beginning
It's almost like when he gives me all the attention I'm high with it then when it's gone I'm just depressed

Do you have problems with emotional dysregulation OP? This isn't the first time you've become overly invested in a relationship is it?

You are massively overthinking this. You can’t spend your whole day looking at your phone. You’ve only known this person a few weeks. Get out. Get a hobby. This is unhealthy.

This isn't about him it's about how you are in relationships and your attachment style.

Focus on yourself for a while and reflect on your past and self esteem. Do something for you and maybe look into therapy.

It's almost like when he gives me all the attention I'm high with it then when it's gone I'm just depressed

I say this with kindness, OP, but you really need to look into counselling or therapy of some sort. You are basing your self worth and happiness on how much attention you are getting from this man and that’s not healthy.

Please dump him. Delete and block him.
Guys like this end up making you anxious and ill over time.
It's a sick game they play of trying to make you prove that you're worthy.

Like when he said you were being intense so you were thinking of ways to be less intense so he'll like you back.

It's manipulative what's he is doing.

Someone that truly likes you, will want to chat with you and spend time with you. They'll like you just as you are.

I miss how it was at the beginning

It is the beginning!!

How old are you both?
I think some days he's more chatty than others because on those days he's bored and not with anyone else and you're available. I think he's probably seeing others. Sorry to be blunt but I'm speaking from experience. As absolutely everyone else has said, when someone is into you, they'll make it crystal clear.

You need to leave this guy.
Texting is not the real issue.
He’s just not really into you, and is being a cruel fucker keeping you stringing along.

FYI - texting chat is fine if you’re into each other.

Why do you think some days he's more chatty than others ?

That's pretty natural, to be honest...

Are you double-texting a lot, or do you wait for him to reply?
Don't double text, let him reply. But also don't sit around waiting for him to reply. Get on with your life. That's much healthier! You can still enjoy talking to him, but it shouldn't be everything, it's early days.

I wouldn't play the text game; it's old and crap. I would categorically stop talking to anyone who did it to me (although I'm engaged, so it's unlikely these days, thankfully!). Just be a bit more relaxed. It's early days and he's aware that you're hanging round waiting for his replies. Keep yourself busy and you'll come across as less intense.

But generally, if this is making you anxious and questioning everything, it's not right for you. You do sound like you may be more into this than he is.

No I don't double text.
Always wait for him to reply.
Yesterday and today I waited on him to speak first.

The hot and cold is a way to create anxiety, and to create the narrative that you are 'too needy' so that he can then 'manage you down' to accepting way less in the relationship than a person would expect form someone who likes them.

You fell for who he was a whole 3 months ago. He isn't that person, he's a game-player. Do you want to be with a game-player? Because the person he pretended to be isn't coming back, whatever you now do or do not do.

This is the reason for holding onto your heart until you see who a person is. When someone blows hot and cold, people who have self-worth stop contact with that someone. And never resume it, however hot the person may blow.

Why do you not feel worthy of someone who is reliably into you? Why are you putting up with the hot and cold? Seriously, ask yourself these questions.

OP, have you actually ever had a proper relationship with anyone, you have been posting on Mumsnet for months about men and also women, all along the same lines of We have been texting, kissing, sleeping together, does he/she like me blah blah, its bizarre. Here's some advice for you, when adults are discussing a relationship they are in, they never say 'I've been kissing someone?!!', 'We've been kissing?!', it goes without saying. I don't even think your an actual adult tbh.

OP, this way madness lies.

You're more into it than him, you'll only make yourself unhappy if you carry on. It sounds like you want different things. At this early stage you should both be as excited as each other to be in contact.

Stop just bloody stop
For the love of Christ.
Get away from this
Get some therapy now

Jesus christ, get a grip!

You are worrying this much about texting.