Dating a man with MH issues, WWYD?

[SatOnTheRemote]

I've been dating a new man for a couple of months but he seems to have gone quite cold lately.

His contact became less and less and it would always be me initiating dates, he was quite short with me through text yesterday so I decided I'd keep intact my dignity and wished him luck for the future saying I'll be leaving it there.

He comes back to me today apologizing for taking his mood out on me, being quite sweet and said he'd been feeling quite weighed down (he has mental health issues)

I offered my support if he felt he needed to talk, or have somebody keep him company and i said this because he said he'd been sat couped up in his room in the dark. He's now gone quiet again.

What would you do in this situation? Do I continue to reach out or do I leave him be?

I care about him so I feel uncomfortable walking away if he really is in crisis, but I don't want to make a nuisance of myself, or a fool.

Posted with your last two posts.

What an absolute creep!

Yep psyching you out. Been there. You probably had a spider sense so never invited him round for that reason too (though of course common sense too)

Run, run, run.

I knew from early on that I didn't want to invite him to my house. I could have easily done so and arranged it for when my children weren't here, but I never felt comfortable with him knowing where I live for some reason that is now becoming clear as the mask has dropped.

I had no reason to be concerned about him until very recently but my subconscious obviously picked up on something before he showed me who he was.

I'm about to block him on everything now.

I don't even know what a global digital activist is supposed to be but my take would be that he's insinuating he can get information on people's address etc.

Global Digital Activist = knows how to use Google.

Yes suspect that was the insinuation (throw in a bit of fear to up the ante).

PS. Global digital activist = fruitcake

hes creepy

I called him a Google maps activist afterwards so I have to agree

This doesn't sound good at all,and will only be giving you some stress.
And you are not responsible for him, or for any other weird things he might say or do.

I have bipolar disorder - the issue here isn't that he has MH problems, it's that he handles these MH problems in a way that impacts other people (including you).

That does not bode well for a relationship - either he is very ill at the moment in which case he is in no situation to start a new relationship or he's not capable of handling his MH in a way which doesn't have a negative impact on the people closest to him.

Both of these are situations you should seek to avoid at all costs.

I see so many posts on here about people being treated badly by men 'because they have MH issues' and the women feeling they need to stay as it 'isn't there fault'.

MH issue = "I feel depressed today"

Character = "I feel depressed today so am taking it out on you by ignoring you/being critical/withdrawing with no explanation/being a dick/insert other shitty behaviours here"

MH affects how I feel about, and in, myself. Character affects how I behave when I feel that way.

They are different.

Walk away OP, there's nothing but heartache here

Sorry just caught up with your latest posts. I need to learn to RTFT before posting

I agree with PP his comment about the teenage girl being jealous was weird

Global digital activist = fruitcake that can Google

Run

• Argh "isn't their fault" not there. Oh the horror

doesnt bloody everyone have mental health problems?

Doesnt mean you get to be a dick and still have people want to be around you

This may sound extreme op.

He sounds like he's grooming you, especially since you have mentioned his friend with kids.
It's all about your kids, shut him down and out. 💐

I wish I'd blocked him sooner, he's successfully managed to disrupt my peace of mind which was no doubt his aim in the first place.

I definitely agree and see how that his behaviour has nothing to do with his mental health problems and everything to do with his character, which is disordered at best.

Yes it seems that when I put my foot down and made it clear that I wouldn't be inviting him to my home for the foreseeable, that is when he started to lose interest and play stupid games.

You'd have thought a potential new boyfriend would prefer keeping things breezy and light, going out and having fun, but not him. He seemed desperate to come to my house and there was no need.

I'd walk away they drag you down with them

Another snippet of our conversation, this was after I said I'd noticed a change in contact/desire to plan dates and was i going to leave it there. It always reverts back to me not letting him come to my house and if I don't then he isn't interested in meeting.

Edited to block out identifying information

I was* not was i

The monster comment, is a huge unconscious red flag op

Ugh all of what you've said about him gives me the creeps and would massively put me off (except the MH issues which I think are separate to be honest).

He sounds strange and clingy. I would leave it there and dodge this bullet.

Have you been to his place? Why is he obsessed with coming to yours?

I don’t find the not eating your babies comment very funny.

I've been to his place plenty, he doesn't have children or housemates so no reason he couldn't accommodate. It made more sense to go to his place if we wanted to be, erm "intimate" so god knows what his obsession with coming to mine is, unless he has sinister intentions like making a nuisance of himself post split. Etc

Going to his after going out has always been convenient (he lives in the centre of the city whereas I'm on the outskirts) so there is absolutely no need for him to come to my house.

Are you certain he doesn’t know where you live? This sounds very worrying tbh.