WIBU to tell him not to come?

[LadyGagasNormalCousin]

NC for this.

I have been with DP for a few months. We unfortunately don't see each other that often as we both work long hours and in different parts of the country. We're both young professionals, in our late 20s, no DC involved.
He was supposed to come over to my place this weekend, however I fell ill. Nothing too serious but a nasty virus, sore throat, fever, all that.
I asked him not to come for the following reasons:

• I feel miserable, I sleep most of the day and the rest of the time I am in agony. My head hurts, I am dizzy and have no voice, honestly I am not up for taking care of a guest or seeing people for that matter. When I am ill I just want to hibernate until I'm better.
• He works hard during the week and catching the virus from me is the last thing he needs.
• When I told him I was unwell, his first reaction was "Oh it's going to be fun taking care of you". I don't want to be taken care of for fun, this is not playing hospital or anything, I am actually sick. I just want to sleep and fixing the odd cuppa is something I can do myself. Honestly that comment has (probably irrationally) put me off.
• As we don't see each other regularly, he is very keen on DTD, something I am not comfortable with in this situation.
• The last reason is really vain but I don't want him to see me like this.

It's sweet that he wanted to come and I appreciate the thought but I just need some peace and quiet.
I told him that am sorry but I am not well enough to receive guests and that I would pay his train ticket he had booked so he wouldn't be out of pocket. I also offered to reschedule as soon as possible.
He refused my offer to reimburse him. I apologised over and over again. He insists he isn't mad at me, however he doesn't answer my texts for hours, only one-word answers ("nice". "ouch". "that sucks") and he's very distant. I tried to address this but he maintains he isn't mad. Should I just have let him come despite the fact that it probably wouldn't have helped me feel better but would have been added stress?

The OP herself must feel something is off or she wouldn’t have posted on here!
People can only respond with the limited information they are given and without actually knowing the people involved.
The facts are, op asked him not to come because she isn’t well and needs peace (fair). Her DP has now changed the tone of his texts and appears not to be particularly sympathetic. Op also suggests he would expect sex if he did visit, despite her being ill.
With those limited facts I’m not sure how anyone can see no potential problems here.
Yes I’m sure there is more to it than this but I see nothing wrong with warning her that his responses could be red flags and to take care going forward.

Yeah, storm in a teacup.

His main crime this weekend appears to have been some crappy texts that weren't what OP wanted. If I'd been him I'd have simply said 'ok, look after yourself and let me know when you feel a bit better' no need for other texts. Maybe he was reluctant to text 'Down the pub watching footie on Sky with a beer - off for a curry later - maybe do my John Travolta impersonation at the Disco'[Grin]

Hope OP's feeling better and not sitting working herself up over what was really a non-event. She does need to point out she sees the sex as problem.

And then you get affronted because the responses (which you don't want) are only very brief - because the other person is taking you at your word that you are stick and wanting peace and quiet and is trying to help you get it.

His responses to her are brief one or two words long. However his texts about himself are paragraphs long about how wonderful he is, how humble, how much work mates love him.
That's not normal if you are texting someone who is ill!

Christ only on mn.

Your a woman you said no to a poor man now he is upset and off with you but it's your fault.

You can't txt or go on internet if you are ill Even if it's days into the illness and you feel slightly better. How dare you manage to use your fingers woman! Apparently for a woman to be actually ill you would need to be immobile and hovering between life and death.

He was upset- well life is full of disappointments but you don't get arsy if some is ill and you have to change plans.
You don't suddenly change from being chatty to one word replies.
Nor do you send them texts about how wonderful you are and how everyone else appreciates them so much!

Op knows him and said he originally said he was looking for sex if she was up to it!

Op is sensible enough to realise he has changed his tune this weekend. Whether it's a one off or not she will find out. But it's not unreasonable for someone in her position to question why he changed and made it all about him. Why he didn't ask how she is when he was regaling her about his awesomeness?
That's definitely something that's not attractive in anyone.