Anyone else feel like men never fall for them ?

[walker05]

I feel like men are always very lukewarm about me, or not sure, 'seeing how it goes'. Apart from my first ever boyfriend a decade ago, I don't think a man has ever fallen for me that I know of.
I have had a couple of men who were very keen until they got what they wanted and then 'suddenly faded'.
And guys who have just 'suddenly realised they were not that into me'.
I never imagined it being so hard. I was at my friend's wedding recently and the groom was saying "she was very shy the first time I met her and I just fell in love there and then."
I've had rejections for 'not being a challenge' 'too shy' and 'just no connection'.

The men are always very keen to sleep with me which is annoying. I never sleep with them right away, usually after a few weeks/a month. With my Last ex it was 5 weeks.
I try my best, I don't sit there silently, only talk about myself, Instagram etc. I've got a range of hobbies, travelled, I speak 5 languages.
Maybe I just haven't met the right person or just been unlucky. I've been doing therapy and the therapist said there is nothing 'wrong' with me as per se.
Anyone else feel this way ? Any advice ?
I just want to be enough for somebody and for them to find me amazing as I am.

If you aren't yourself, you'll waste your time with those who expect your chatty and gregarious
act, then ditch when you revert to normal.

You need to try to be comfortable with yourself (and seek out compatable mates).

PicsInRed not true, some people end up being single for life when they aren't willing to try something new. Obviously if you can't hold down a relationship or don't have much interest from people to get in one, there is something that needs to change, unless you are happy to be alone. I know 3 women unwilling to change...all now in their 40s and single (and not wanting to be). For example, if you are needy, that is a turn off to most if not all people. You would need to figure out how to become less needy in the relationship, by channelling that somewhere else...getting a hobby, a life, focusing on friends. As others suggested, if your available ALL the time, people lose interest. That is just how it is. Its important to have a life of your own, friends, hobbies etc...be busy sometimes, but not always...This comes naturally if you take up some hobbies and don't drop your plans just because someone asks you on a date. For example if op had lets say a gym hobby 3 times a week and someone asks when she plans to go to the gym, op could respond, "sorry, I have a gym class I love going to already booked in, but how about X Y Z day?" and make plans with friends once or twice a week...so when going on dates you have more to talk about "We went to this really cool exhibition, you should check it out! I loved the A B C."

Starlight, it's not about trying something new (like an activity or hobby), it's about affecting a false chatty persona. She stated herself that she can't keep it up and the men back off when her true more quiet self emerges.

She is wasting her time chasing incompatable men with the persona she thinks they would like - because she can't keep it up indefinitely.

She would do better to seek out more temperamentally compatable men.

Thanks for the replies. I am not by any means available all day every day, but I would always make time to see somebody at least once, maybe twice in the week. Does that seem like too much ?

I've got friends who are seeing people atm, and it's still fairly easy days, but for instance they see each other every couple of weeks even though they live close by and have 'sociable' working hours.

It depends on each individual but for me it would not be enough seeing someone every fortnight, unless I go away etc. (taking into account that I have no children and live very close to people ive seen) but I don't know if that makes me needy ?

I have even found myself telling people i'm 'busy' even if i'm sat at some watching TV, in order to seem less available 🙄

Self-esteem is pretty low and just feeling like a bit of a loser atm haha.

Dating can be tough and rejection isn't nice. However, it sounds like the two guys you have described aren't for you anyway.

Yes, i'm sure they weren't in the end, anyone can make their best impression at the very beginning.
Guy who I have had 3 dates with, who texted me to say that he liked me has suddenly gone a bit cold.
I'm meant to see him tonight but his last message was very short and hasn't even said about times or anything for tonight, so not sure if it's still on even.
I'm maybe jumping to conclusions but wouldn't surprised me that he 'suddenly' in 2 days realised he wasn't that into me for whatever reason, that I wasnt going to be life-changing or because I told him I liked him too there's no 'challenge' anymore. Pfft.

Just find it tough being constantly chatty and having loads to say all the time, I kind of run out of steam, but I feel like that's what people want.

That isn’t necessarily what ‘people want’ though.
I think you’re trying too hard and overanalysing things. You can only be yourself at the end of the day - if that isn’t right for someone then they’re not right for you. Move on otherwise you’re just pretending to be someone you’re not and the relationship will never last even if they do fall for you.
The reason nobody is falling for you is that you haven’t met the right guys yet.
Not everyone is blessed with having amazing looks, personality etc that everyone falls in love with. Accept it and be patient otherwise you’ll fuck it up when you do meet the right guy by trying to be someone else.