Need to calm down and think straight

[AmInShockNeedHelp]

I've been on this website for about 6 months on and off under different user names because I don't want out myself. I know people on here.

For the past 8 months I been thinking that my DH is acting weird etc. I've torn my house upside down looking for evidence for an affair as it all looked that way, but found nothing.

My DH has a toiletry bag that he uses when he goes away on business. I've looked though it loads of times to see if he was stupid enough to leave condoms in there etc. Nothing.

Today I was on the toilet (TMI sorry) and his toilet bag was on the floor. It feel off the shelf as my DC1 has a cold and he had a bath and he generally leaves towels and other mess around. He has knocked the bag off the shelf. Anyway, Looked through it and even went one step further emptying bottles of dry stuff to see if anything inside or at the bottom.

He has a massive Smint box that he has had for ages. I emptied it and then looked closer at the Smints. I've looked at this before and just thought he had mixed 2 different packets together. I looked closer this time and there are numerous (actually 26 in total) diamond shaped blue ones. You know where I am going with this. One side says Pfizer and the other says V50. A quick google confirmed my worst fears.

I am not sitting here angry, I'm calm and actually laughing. WTF do I do now? I am really edging to get on the phone to my family and tell them.

Advice.

He could be using them with you and just simply not telling you.

He hasn't been near me for months.

In what way(s) has he been acting weird? Weird when he's intimate with you, or when he gets back from business trips, or what?

Oh x-post sorry

Could be straw clutching here but is it possible he has had them for some time and has only ever used them with you?

Ok well I'd recount the viagra and check it again after next work trip.

Otherwise confront him. But I suspect he'll try to wriggle out if it and then you won't know for sure.

So sorry

When did he last go on business?

Yeah I agree with that, is there anything else you have found before or has given you reasons to suspect?

I would trust your instincts. Spent too long ignoring mine.

Unless of course you are the paranoid type.

Count them. Put them back. Wait til next next goes away and count again. X

Sorry have just seen you said hes not been near you

He's done loads of things that pointed to an affair and has been really horrible to me. I've torn the place upside down looking for evidence but couldn't find any. He mixed his viagra with his mints. What a f£king arsehole. My DC shower in that room. Imagine if my DC had popped one of his mints!

He is actually going away on a trip for a week in a couple of days. I don't know if I want to enable him shagging around whilst away just to see if he has popped one whilst away.

I don't know if I want to put myself through the hell of waiting and seeing to be honest. I've been through hell and back as it is.

I'd definitely count the blue and recount after his trip.

I'll need to start another thread but I need to set up an email account. I want to take some pics. I know that it means nothing but I may want to refer to them later.

He's been shagging around by the looks of it anyway. Waiting one more work trip will just enable you to confront him with evidence so he can't gaslight you and make you question yourself. I'd wait if it was me.

I honestly would wait and not give him a reason to make him think you're suspicious of him. Count them, lay them out and take a photo of them! When he comes back check them again and then confront him if there are some missing

I would be telling him not to bother coming back after his trip. Why waste anymore time with him?

DONT!

just count them. If hes in your phone it will tip him off.

I'd fill it with smints.

I'm shaking

Yup.

You're in shock.

We're here x

I'd flush them down the toilet the day before he leaves, chances are hes buying them on the internet, wont get a chance to replace them, that'll cool his jets! But I second the opinion of taking photos of them first

I'd take a nail file to the mints and make them diamond shaped and use a felt tip to colour them. Then replace the viagra and top up with normal mints.

I'd say, I'm passing, 'Oh your Smints fell out of your bag and DC decided they were his. Sorry, I'll get you some more.'

😈

Sorry you've found this. It does seem to point towards him having sex elsewhere.

What is your financial situation? Do you rent/own/are you named on the mortgage?

So you work? Do you have real life support?

We are here.