Did you take your mum wedding dress shopping with you?

[perfectlyimperfect1]

I’m sorry if this is the wrong forum, I wasn’t sure which to post it on!
I get married next year and my friend suggest we go and look at dresses, which I had no intention of purchasing yet. Bad move. The 3rd dress I tried I fell in love with, and of course it was the only in my size etc and I’m a sucker for that kind of thing!
I sent a photo to my mum and she said it’s beautiful. I asked her what I should do and she basically said it’s lovely and if I like it then to get it.
I do regret she wasn’t there and I took her along to another just so I could try a few different styles to be sure while she was there but none compared. She keeps saying how it’s sticks with her that she wasn’t there. I feel bad, but what can I do?

I went wedding dress shopping alone. My friends and family thought I was strange, but it’s what I felt comfortable with. Maybe ask your mum to go accessories shopping with you, for shoes, jewellery, that sort of thing.

No, didnt take my Mum. I like shopping on my own.
Can you get her in time other ways?

Sorry, , involved in other ways

What's the point of your mum saying anything? You can't go back in time. My mum certainly wouldn't say anything like that to me even if she did feel sad about it. Does she often try to make you feel guilty?

I went on my own to choose mine, my choice.
I went with my daughter to choose hers, her choice

She needs to stop with the guilt trip. Does that happen often?

No! I was thinking about this as I read a thread yesterday. I went shopping for my dress all over Scotland with my bridesmaid. Mum didn't see me in it until the night before the wedding when we had a try on. This was nearly 30 years ago when we didn't have all these wedding dress shows on TV. No one I know at the time took their mums with them 🤷🏼‍♀️ I have a DD who is late teens and have no dreams about going dress shopping with her if and when she decides to get married either.

I weny alone. I'd seen one I liked in a magazine and decided to go and try it. I was always going to buy a dress I liked so didn't see the point in taking DM along. (She'd have been getting me to try on what she liked). My sisters couldn't agree on bridesmaid dresses so there was no way I was letting them help shop for my dress.

Don't feel bad for your mum. Mum's don't need to be there when you buy the dress.

Nope, but was disappointed I never got to. I really disliked my dress and got it on a whim in case we eloped. We didn't, but then felt like I had to use the dress as I'd had it for a while!

The same thing happened with me, decades ago. SIL and I were out somewhere with no intention of looking at wedding dresses. We passed Laura Ashley ( back in the late 70s when there were few shops and they only had her original designs). There was a wedding dress in the window and I loved it. I'd never had any intention of having a classic wedding dress. Tried it on, it fit, I bought it.

My mum sulked for weeks. Though it would have made no difference. I never had any intention of taking her with me to buy one anyway.

My daughter took me and her sister. It was lovely, and I was glad. But I'd never have assumed I should be there.

My mum came with me (33 years ago), and I went with dd2.

I didn't take my Mum - to be honest it didn't occur to me to do so! I went with a couple of friends and we had a very jolly day out. Not a 'proper' wedding dress though, I just wore a nice frock.
I did however go shopping with my Mum for an outfit for her which I also paid for, so we had a lovely time and spent some 'wedding' time together.

I didn't go wedding dress shopping (I actually wore my MIL's dress) but I wouldn't have taken her if I did

I went with my mum because she was paying.
I went with my daughter because I was paying.
We didn't take any extra people.
The idea of making it a party, taking your bridesmaids, your MIL to be, your grandmothers - Urgh!

Yes I'm taking my mum, she also went with both my sisters but we are all quite close. It's a shame she's dissapointed but agree with pp she didn't really need to mention it to you, there isn't much you can do about it now other than try to involve her in other ways with the wedding planning if you want to.

Yes I took my mum, DSis and future MIL. I really didnt want to have my bridesmaids there- too opinionated!

No, we jetted off on holiday with dd and my niece. Got married.

My mum was invited but couldn’t do the date my maid of honour was doing and understood that I had one date to do mine and her dress .. but I liked about 5 different options and was u sure I was not going to buy without my mum so took her for her opinion And she helped me pick the final option ... she never said I upset her .. it was just how it went. Can you take your mum back to the shop And help make it her option too?

I am glad she was pretty chilled about the whole thing really as usually I would say my mum is fairly high maintenance .... she hated my wedding band choice as it was too expensive ( £1200 😬 but it suited my engagement ring ... though in comparison my wedding dress cost half of that ) x x

I went with just my mum. There was nobody else I'd rather have had with me for that trip. I don't have daughters so I expect that's the only wedding dress shopping I'll ever do. It's a lovely memory for both of us.

I don't think I could have gone wedding dress shopping without my mum, it just wouldn't have felt right. I think in your shoes I would have just gone back with my mum and tried it on again with her so she felt part of it. I can totally understand why she feels a little disappointed that she wasn't there with you.

I feel so guilty about it :-( but I just thought what if I take my mum to another 10 shops and don’t find one I liked as much as that one! If I’d have thought about it I would have put a deposit on that dress and left it in the shop, then took my mum back and tried it on for her. But I didn’t actually even think about or know you could do that. I’m not sure if she guilt trips me but she can be a bit ‘woe is me!’
I’ve even thought about selling it and just starting from scratch so she can be involved!
I’m taking her to my alteration appointments so she’ll be the first to see it with all the added bits. But the seamstress said she would like me to have my shoes soon so she can have definite length judgement.. and mum said “better go shoe shopping with your friend then”
I said to her she was there for the birth of my son and surely that’s a more life changing thing to be there for?
I just feel terrible.

I've got a mother who loves a good guilt trip too.

Just ignore her, it's not her event, it's yours and she's trying to make it all about her.

Lol, I’m dyslexic and read the thread title as ‘did you take your mums wedding dress shopping with you.’ Disappointed to read your not a crazy person who goes out wearing her mums wedding dress.

But, my only advice as someone whose watched loads of say yes to the dress, only take someone who’s advice you really trust when wedding dress shopping.

This is the dress in question anyway!

@Amortentia no I don’t tend to go round the high street with my mums wedding dress on lol! x