Is it normal in the UK for people to assume that they will inherit money/property from their parents?

[GhostBusting]

I have name changed as the dcs sometimes look on here!

I had one English parent and one non English but was largely brought up abroad though I have been back in the UK for more than 20 years now. Both my dcs are English. I am divorced from their dad.

I never expected to inherit anything. My parents lived in a country where there was no state funded healthcare so by and large, everything they had went on their medical and care costs in their older years. Throughout their lives, they gave money to their dcs when they could (on birthdays/xmas). This was fairly normal and when they passed away, there was not much left to distribute.

I have been quite surprised by the attitudes of people in the UK since I've been here. I have a lot of friends who actively appear to assume that they will inherit large sums from their parents whether by way of them being left a large property or other assets (cash etc.). In fact, I had dinner with a couple last week who were asking me advice on how to move their mother's house out of her name to avoid her being forced to sell it to pay for her care costs!

I have worked hard my whole life and am lucky enough to have a good paying job now. I have always been careful with money but like my parents, given cash to my dcs on birthdays/xmas. I have a dp now and am enjoying spending some money going on nice holidays with him as I was single for a long time after the divorce. My (adult) dd has been playing up a bit recently and exh told me the other day it's because she thinks that my dp is 'taking all the money that would otherwise be left for her!'.

Now first of all that isn't true and I will speak to her about it, but is there a cultural expectation in this country that children do inherit from their parents? Before I start addressing the issue, I just want to make sure I'm not missing something.

Yes, I think it's a pretty normal assumption.

My parents own their home and assuming it's not sold to pay for care fees, I know I'll be inheriting it when they pass. It's the same for pretty much everyone else I know - the home will go to the children, or sold and the assets split among them.

How does that work? Inheritance tax is a % of the estate, whoever you leave it to pays it. I don’t think leaving it to grandchildren rather than children makes a difference?

It’s not that inheritance isn’t payable. But if it is left to elderly children with substantial assets, it’s likely that inheritance tax will be payable again in a shorter period of time. If instead it is left to grandchildren, it skips a generation and also might become more ‘diluted’, so that no inheritance is payable.

This will simply entrench the widening gap between poor and rich in the UK.

No children of my own, I've told the nieces and nephews everything's going to the cat & dogs home.

I would say a lot do but they have no idea that care costs are conservatively £50,000 a year and any state help is a real fight and practically none existent.

Why wouldn't children inherit from their parents if their parents have property?

I don't really understand the confusion. I'm an only child and I know that my parents' wills leave it all to me. One of them might need care (rare in my family, 5 grandparents either died suddenly or died at home after short illnesses). Whatever is left I will inherit but if they live to their 80s I will be in my 50s and my mortgage will be paid off anyway.

I am just about to sign the paperwork that will see my parents’ assets disappear in care fees as I have 2 parents with dementia but looking like they could easily live another 5 years.

I am of course relieved that we can borrow money against the house to buy care that will keep them in their own home, and that is a obviously priority over inheritance, without a second thought.

But I will do all I can to leave my own Dc a little something if I can. Much of my house equity will be needed in place of my crap pension though.

Not all baby boomers are well set up, not by a long chalk.

But I do think the current 21 year olds will have it v hard.

“One of them might need care (rare in my family, 5 grandparents either died suddenly or died at home after short illnesses)”

Yep, same here. All grandparents and uncles and aunts. None had heart problems, cancer, strokes or dementia, or any other debilitating conditions of age.

Now between them my parents have clocked up one stroke and two cases of dementia.

In most countries in the world if there is something to inherit it goes to the children,in fact in many European countries and Scotland you cannot disinherit your children. In certain countries sons get a bigger inheritance and sometimes eldest son gets it all.
Not being allowed to disinherit your children would stop some of the angst that results from remarriage and then all the money being left to children of second marriage and the children of first marriage entirely neglected

I had honestly never considered it, it had never been mentioned in my family and I had never considered if I would get anything. Then I met DP. His family are very focused on what they will get, it causes arguments (between 50 year olds!?) And constant mentions of "when ... does, I'll be able to do ...". It makes me uncomfortable

*Yep, same here. All grandparents and uncles and aunts. None had heart problems, cancer, strokes or dementia, or any other debilitating conditions of age.

Now between them my parents have clocked up one stroke and two cases of dementia.*

4 out of 5 got cancer. They just didn't last long enough to need care. The other one had a heart attack.

I'm unlikely to inherit anything. My parents are active, in good health in their 70s and living their retirement to the absolute full. Their parents all lived well into their 90s so I'm fully expecting that care homes will eat up the value of their house in their twilight years.

DH's parents are a similar age to mine but not in great health. When one goes, the other may well need care. So DH might ultimately inherit something from their property, but we've got no expectations and certainly couldn't count on anything.

As an only child everyone assumes I will be nicely off in the future, I think it's more likely to go on care homes! It's their money and I don't expect any of it.

No I wouldn't assume it...tends to be used up in care fees I would think.

I have lived my life assuming zero inheritance and so far I’m correct. Parents broke up when I was a toddler. DF needed nursing care for the last ten years of his life and DM left everything to her favourite child, that caused a kerfuffle and a half. FIL left all his estate to DH sister. That was more of a surprise my MIL his ex wife was deeply upset by this. I have come to the conclusion that it was possibly because DH turned down joining the masons, his Dad was very high up in the masons.I was planning on giving away my share if anything came from Mother to my far harder up sisters. They are messed up people because they spent a lifetime wanting Mother to love them, she only loved one child. I knew this so just distanced myself from her. Three of my sisters spent a lifetime trying to please her, there was no point. She lived till almost 92 playing her horrible mind games with them because they let her, all very FOG.

However there is a bit of an expectation amongst many people I know. Now my friend is in the role of your DD, she is mid fifties and her Dad is eighty. He was widowed a few years ago, how my friend detests the GF. I’m sure it’s to do with her worrying about her inheritance. Her poor Dad he seems really happy.

I've been thinking about this recently. It is definitely an assumption that it goes to the kids but I've never understood it and I think it's totally grabby.

My family don't have a lot but do often say 'well you'll inherit this or that when we die'. I don't want it. I want them to live their best lives to spend and enjoy. They will also probably need to spend what they have on nursing care at this rate anyway!

It's tough though as it's now so hard to get on the property ladder I think peoples only access to a 'deposit' is if their parents give or leave them money.

“This will simply entrench the widening gap between poor and rich in the UK.”

Not any more it won’t. Those who saved and / or put their money into a property will see it disappear in care fees while those who never had much or have spent their savings will be covered by the state.

And it is well known that self-funding in care homes subsidises the state funded places. My friend discovered this when her mother’s savings ran out and suddenly the bill to be paid by the LA was much cheaper than she had been paying? For exactly the same care..

Yes, self funders pay double the fees. This is unfair, but, of course, the state does not allocate sufficient money to care of the elderly.

Yes, I think there is a general expectation that parents will leave money/ property to their children IF they have any at the time of their death. However, most people would expect the parents to spend it exactly how they wish during their lifetime.

So, your DD is being very greedy and entitled to expect you to refrain from having nice holidays with your DP or buying whatever you want with your own money when you are still alive! It is your money to spend as you wish. Tell her she's a cheeky mare and she needs to wind her neck in! You don't say your age, but assuming you have at least 20/30 or 40 years to live what does she expect you to do? Live like a hermit so she can inherit your cash?! Seriously cheeky!

it's interesting isn't it

I wonder if it will lead to a generation who put the house in their children's names/trust even though the parents carry on living there to avoid having an 'asset' that can be sold for care costs.

I definitely expect to inherit from my mum but I definitely don’t expect her to be careful with her money while she is alive to maximise my inheritance.
I have seen people take control of elderly parents finances and be really stingy about spending the money on the parent, even though it morally and legally is the parents money.
I also think it’s “off” when a surviving parent disinherits their own children in favour of their new spouse. A friend of mine lost their dad and their mum remarried years later and when she died her house went to her second husband. He promptly died and his dcs inherited. It doesn’t matter how many times people say it’s “grabby” or “entitled”, I know 100% I would be pissed off if my parents home was given to adults who had nothing at all to do with one of them and almost nothing to do with the other. I would be incandescent if my worldly goods went to my dhs future second wife’s children and not my own if I died and dh remarried. It’s one thing to piss it up the wall yourself but quite another to have something and give it to virtual strangers*

*does not necessarily apply is dcs total gits and step dcs are charm itself.

if you give something to your kids ie a house and continue living there rent free it is not considered a free gift, if you however gift your house to your kids and pay market rent the house itself is a genuine gift however the rent will then become income for your kids and therefore taxed, trusts where you continue to benefit from assets are tricky and need to be drawn up legally

I expect nothing from my parents no doubt they will give everything to my brothers. In my case the money is tainted. I want nothing from them and rich or poor I'll carve my own way in life.

My partner is an only child and his parents are very well off. I've already said to them now they are both retired spend it all and enjoy it! We are fine financially, not rich but ok and they worked very hard for their money.