Being called 'good girl'

[SarahH19]

What is it with some men in calling woman a 'good girl'?

Am I being unreasonable to be offended?

I've only dated one man who has used this phase towards me but I have heard it a few times. But what's with it?

@PaterPower what else would they refer to them collectively as? What with them actually being girls and all?

a girl is a female child.

My midwife called me a good girl, I thought it was weird and unprofessional

My Gdad used to call me 'gel' and my husband 'lad'. I always thought that was sweet - a bit of a reminder that some people thought we were young, even though we thought we were terribly grown-up!

“@PaterPower what else would they refer to them collectively as? What with them actually being girls and all?”

If only there was some term that described adult females.

I had this other day. In swimming pool, guy in 50s was really nice, nothing dodgy and asked me about the swimming session I was doing (both in the fast lane for context) when I told him my usual exercise plan in the pool he said 'good girl'

I'm a 36 year old woman. I was taken aback. I think it's generational and bloody rude.

Hey, I don’t have a horse in that particular race as I’m male, just pointing out that it’s so prevalent in that environment.

More generally, I’d never use it myself to describe anyone other than my female (young still) DC or their female friends. I wouldn’t describe anyone over the age of 14 as a “girl” because I’d feel like I was being patronising.

I don’t object to “lad” but would find most uses of “boy,” to an adult man, offensive.

I never find it a problem.
I don't know whether it's because where I live men are almost always boys or lads so it feels natural that women are girls or lasses. Or ladies bit I think that's a bit cheesy.
Good Woman doesn't sound right to me.

Calling grown women "girls" is very normalised; I find it creepy and weird

"Good girl" especially creepy and weird and thankfully ive never had to projectile vomit on a motherfucker because no one has ever said it to me.

Strictly in the bedroom only, uttered outside the bedroom by anyone not an intimate lover EW

I'm confused that anyone wouldn't find it weird and patronising. You might say it to a 6 year old, but not to an adult.

I don’t get it.

Why would you call someone good girl in the bedroom unless you were role playing animals (are they called furries?)

Probably the closest in real life is being called lass, but lass round here refers to anyone into their 90s and beyond.

It’s hot when my DH does it, it has the same affect on me in and out of the bedroom! He’s the strong, dominant type so it works!

If a random man said it to me I’d probably go Level 5 Feminist on him!

Why would you call someone good girl in the bedroom unless you were role playing animals (are they called furries?)

Just google "good girl porn" and you will get the idea.

It's not all porn related fgs. My DP says it and he is fairly dominant in the bedroom. I like it, in that context only.

I don't like being referred to as a girl in work though. It happens and it does piss me off. And it's other women doing it!

It's not all porn related fgs. My DP says it and he is fairly dominant in the bedroom

Exactly - thats what it's all about - domination.

I'm northern and the expression here "good girl" basically means "she's a really nice decent girl" nothing untoward about it to us

My husband, said it to me a few weeks ago, I stared at him, told him not to be such a misogynistic twat, and not to call me that again!

I dumped someone for calling me a good girl. For context, he was away for the weekend, I had gone out and he sent me a message asking if I was still partying. I said no, I had got up early and been to the gym. He replied "Good girl" and I knew then he was a controlling twat.

Mmm

Oh dear - I’ve NEVER said this to any adult woman - and cannot think of any time that I would. I had no idea it was a thing???Sounds creepy to me!

BUT - I have said it - often - to my DC girls- and they’ve recently become teenagers - so I’m now wondering if I should stop?? Also - it just comes out - eg ‘thanks for helping (name) - good girl’ etc.

I'm northern and the expression here "good girl" basically means "she's a really nice decent girl" nothing untoward about it to us

Which is ok if you're referring to a girl, but the context of this thread is applying it to grown women. And the OP was specifically referring to a man dating her so I assume she wasn't a child.

I tried googling it and just got loads of porn sites which I couldn’t click on as I was around other people, but from what others have said it’s a domination thing?

I don’t think it would be my cup of tea, if DH called me a good girl I’d either PMSL or be

My dentist kept saying it to me in my consultation the other day. He was an older man, seemed really nice. It just made me lol as im nearly 40!

A sixtysomething colleague said ‘good girl’ to me when I was in my late twenties and had just started my first FT academic job. I told him he’d better retire quickly if he wasn’t capable of realising the world had moved on. He stared at me as if a cat had spoken.

"Exactly - thats what it's all about - domination. hmm"

Yeah, and guess what, some of like that.