Hi OP, I’ve only just seen this thread.
Firstly, happy birthday for yesterday.
I’m another one who has had an awful time on Mirtazapine. I managed a week before I was taken off. It knocked me out so I could barely stay awake. I don’t remember eating a lot but my god did it make me angry and volatile. I was only awake a few hours a day but when I was, boy was I evil. It was like PMT on steroids.
I’ve tried lots of ADs and they’ve all had horrible affects on me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which has depression as a major feature. The other thing about Bipolar is most people have an intolerance to ADs, as they tend to send us too far in the other direction. I had a horrible manic episode when I tried SSRIs.
Please keep you and the kids safe. To a large degree there’s nothing you can do about your H’s behaviour, and your first priority is to you and the DC. If you aren’t safe then neither are they, and who will look after them then?
I think you should get back as soon as you can manage after your big event. Your H needs MH intervention and you aren’t the one to give it.
It might be worth mentioning to his doctor/psych about the possibility that he has Bipolar II. If it is then the method of treatment will be quite different, especially if he’s gone through all the ADs and had no joy/bad experiences. My psych put me on Lithium and it was like an instant wave of calm washing over me.
Unfortunately if your H won’t be open with you, or honest with his doctors then there’s little you can do. If he really is a dick as you say, and continues to be obstructive then I really think you have no other choice but to leave him. MH problems are hard to cope with for everybody, including loved ones, and the only way to get through them is to be as honest and self aware as possible. Hell, there’s times where I wouldn’t have blamed my partner for leaving me, but she stuck by me, but only because I was doing everything in my power to get better. It’s not fair to use MH as a free pass to behave like a twat. That’s not how it works, and it makes the rest of us battling though look bad.
I wish you all the best OP. It must be terrifying being stuck in the middle of nowhere with a great hulking ball of anger and hostility for company. Do please try and get home as soon as you can. He needs help, whether or not you intend to stick around. TBH in your place I don’t think I would be, for all the reasons above. Your H needs proper treatment, which he’ll only get if he fully engages, and he needs to get out and do something to give his life meaning. Boredom and isolation are the enemies of MH, trust me. As for you, you can start again. You have a job, you’ve already been responsible for supporting the family, so you have everything in place. You do not have to carry anyone and neither should you be expected to. It’s fine for you to have a happy life, even if he isn’t. He can find the help and the means to have the same if he wants, but atm you’re carrying his ass and he has no need. A kick up the backside might be just what he needs to get off it and sort himself out.
Good luck OP. I hope you can enjoy your big event, despite the utter nightmare you find yourself in.