I am absolutely shitting myself

[SwishSwishSheesh]

because I need to tell my XH that I am seeing someone!

For background info: we've been separated for a year, living separately. He is still very much in la-la land thinking we'll get back together at some point, even though I keep telling him it will never happen. He will be heartbroken and angry and I am going to get so much shit....

We have DS9 together, he loves his dad dearly and I would never want it to change. Due to my own stupidity DS found out I have a special friend and I had to ask him to let me break the news to dad. This just goes against everything I told DS about keeping secrets... I did say it's not a secret, it's just that it's best coming from me.

I really screwed up, haven't I? It's so unfair on DS... I've reassured him that nothing is going to change, he's still my absolute favourite in the world and I love him the most.

I will have to tell XH about my friend, about the fact that DS already knows and he's going to make my life hell.

How would you deal with this?

@category12 no I haven't done the freedom programme or counselling

How about doing it, then? It'll help you with managing your ex and developing up good boundaries for future relationships. You did well to get out of the relationship but there's still a way to go and rebuilding to do.

It sounds like you would be waiting a very long time for the 'right time' to tell your exH about a male friend, and understandably it will be very difficult for you.
When you do please make sure you have someone with you.
And most of all stop beating yourself up about the hand-holding, you're obviously a good mother, and good luck with your SF.

@MaeveDidIt thank you so much, I really needed to hear that