New relationship. It already feels like he's lying to me.

[Noodledoodlesandspud]

Quick back story- I've been seperated from my stbxh for 9 months. I recently started OLD. It's been an absolute mine field with all sorts of shit.

But amongst all the crap one guy messaged me and I thought we really hit it off. Hes sweet and funny. We met up and had an amazing date, I really felt a connection, he seemed really into it. Both constantly messaging etc. Had a couple of coffee dates and then we had sex. Arranged to meet last week and he cancelled saying his ex needed him to watch his daughter which I understood. We rearranged for the following night and he never showed up. Text the following morning to say he fell asleep after work. I was annoyed but agreed to meet up in a couple of days. He turned up and we had a nice time. He opened up about his ex etc and it seemed like we were really starting to get to know each other. We've arranged to meet tomorrow but today he's text me a couple of times at 8am and then nothing until 9.30pm saying sorry, he'd been at his mates all day and been too busy to text. I'm starting to feel like he's hiding something. Part of me wants to call it off but the other part of me keeps thinking of the sweet things he's said and wants to see what happens. I feel really conflicted. What would other people do in my shoes?

You need to respect yourself more op. This guy- he's so obviously not single. He has charmed his way into your bed and now he can't be arsed. Why can't you get rid? Red flags everywhere op!

He sounds 100% married. And completely full of shit. I agree with pp who said just block him.

On a side note though, I once missed a date cos I was asleep! Was mortified because I knew it was so stupid and sounded made up, but I had a nap and set the alarm wrong!!!

But that so is not what happened here. Honestly, drop him.

Serial cheaters are really really good at charming women. They have had more practice than most men.

An old friend said to never trust a man who was too smooth in his chat or known to be "good with the ladies". Sound advice I feel.

So he was late and let you down again? Did he let you know he was going to be late?

My BF has never let me down in over two years. I did however meet my fair share of arseholes during my decade of dating and a few chancers who were juggling women or married. My BF has had to change plans but he's never stood me up and has always made a huge effort to see me, despite a demanding job and family.

There's a difference between someone who occasionally forgets to text back and someone who frequently cancels last minute, stands you up and is uncontactable all day. The former is forgetful. The later is married.

Yeah, think I'd be done no-op, even 22 year old me would be done and she tolerated a lot of shit xD

All those sweet nothings are probably nothing more than love-bombing to keep you sweet. His sort make you feel good to hook you on that high feeling so that you forgive all the other shit. That, plus the 'oh I've had a hard life act' + the lack of consideration of your time all scream narcissist. 3 red flags there should be more than enough.

'I'm sorry, this isn't working for me, all the best' delete and block should be enough. Stop second guessing yourself just because he says nice things. See a persons actions to see who they really are.

Yes I'm going to end it. I've been worrying about it all day, and then it hit me that such a brand new relationship shouldn't have me this messed up. So first thing tomorrow I'll let him know.
Thank you everyone for pointing out that I'm worth more.

He is a player...
Your not interested... Do he wants to fight to prove he can have you....the second you answer he will drop you...
Walk away a winner.. .ghost him

Well done for ending it Op, you don’t deserve to be treated like this

Girl you're right, you definately deserve a whole lot better! And there's better out there for you, please don't let any insecurities (we've all got them) blind you to users and time wasting men. This man does not respect you or honour you, he has you chasing after him, when he should be working on wooing you and can't really be asked to do more than the bare minimum. You've done the right thing. I'm sure it isn't easy but you've saved yourself masses of heartache down the line.

Just a thought, are you planning to tell him in person? Cause he may start talking quickly to get you to change your mind. Weak explanations. I agree with pp to just send short text followed by blocking.

Best of Luck

catherine I'm planning on just sending a message. I'm just working up the guts to send it. He messaged me this morning to ask if things are OK because I haven't been responding very much but I haven't replied to that. I think I'll use that as my opening to explain.

Absolutely. Total gift of a message from him.

Keep the message short. No need to list his failings or your unmet needs. "This just isn't working for me so I am ending the relationship."

Go for it, OP! You deserve better.

Lol, was just thinking - is he slagging that other girl off to you like 'oh she is still chasing me haha' in his texts? If so I'd text her and be like 'I'm done with him he's obviously a player but I thought you aught to see these too-' and forward those texts to her xD

How you doing OP? If you haven't sent it yet then avoid the temptation to make it too emotional.

Yeah I thought you might have noticed I've been a bit distant so I'm glad you brought it up. Im just not feeling it recently so think better for us both to go our separate ways. Thanks for some fun times and best wishes for future!

THEN BLOCK AND DELETE HIS NUMBER

He won't BELIEVE someone has had the audacity to casually binned him off and you'll feel SO much better you've kept your head high. Like Michelle Obama says, "when they go low, we go high."

Well done OP