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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

OH just left hand hold please

33 replies

stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 21:56

weve not been getting on I think I have kind of fell out of love with him he patronises me and belittles me.
I told him today that I cant do it anymore and he didn't believe me so I removed photos from my facebook of us and changed it from engaged to single. This is where he finally realised I was being serious he took my phone and smashed it up. This is the fourth phone he has smashed.

Ive been begging him for hours to leave after fighting back and fourth hes finally left. He said hes going to tell his family what im really like and hes coming to get the dcs at 8 in the morning.

He's took the car so I cant go anywhere and left his work van I have no way of contacting my mum im stuck.

so sorry if my grammar is awful just dug out an old laptop with barely any key pads!!

don't have a clue what to do.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 12/07/2019 22:00

Can you ask anyone on Facebook to contact her for you or lend you a phone? he sounds awful He’s punishing you by taking the car leaving you stranded. I hope you don’t take him back be strong take care.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 22:01

Could you phone your mum from a neighbours OP?

foreverhanging · 12/07/2019 22:06

Do you have anyone you could email to get in touch with your mum?

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 22:06

Nope one side is on holiday and the old man never leaves his house haven't really spoke to him before. Im planning on getting a bus to hers early morning before he comes. I don't know what to do about the dcs I want them with me.

OP posts:
QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 22:21

That's a good plan. You need your mum and a safe place to be. Find out the earliest bus you can take, and leave well before 8am. Come back here and get advice on what to do next. Many very knowledgeable people here.
Smashing up 4 of your phones shows he is violent, unstable and unpredictable.

ilovepinkgin33 · 12/07/2019 22:23

Hope you're ok OP
What you need to do is try and get some rest, the only positive to come out of him smashing your phone is that he can't bombard you with shitty and abusive messages.

Do you own or rent ?? Whose name is on the documents, if it's solely yours you don't have to let him back in the house

Let him say whatever the fuck he wants, if they're dumb enough to listen to him then don't engage with them

Can you replace the phone or know anyone who could borrow you one ?

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 22:29

im just reading an article about domestic abuse and its just made me realise that ive been in denial this whole time.

I have no friends anymore really my mum is my only support.

rent but its in his name like everything is he made sure he did that.

OP posts:
QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 22:42

As soon as you can access a phone, call Women's Aid
0808 2000 247

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 22:57

thank you have emailed them for now, just realised he took all the keys aswell spiteful cunt.

OP posts:
QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 23:05

He's a piece of work isn't he? You aren't locked in are you?

PickAChew · 12/07/2019 23:12

If you're married, spend tonight, before you get some sleep, gathering up all the financial information you can. Obviously you can't take a photo with a phone, but you can secrete it in the bag you pack and post it back when you have what you need.

Whose name is the car in?

PickAChew · 12/07/2019 23:14

If you're using a laptop, do you not have a landline you can use, btw?

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 23:14

he is! no not locked in just worry in case something happens I wouldn't be able to get back in.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 12/07/2019 23:14

Has he locked you in? If so he’s putting you and dcs in danger if there was a fire? what a twat your doing the right thing getting him to leave but you might have to share custody of your dc.

Pessismistic · 12/07/2019 23:16

Sorry crossover glad your not locked in but can you go out in the morning and get back in?

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 23:18

car is in his name even though we sold my car for it and he lent me the extra. I believe he did all these things to control me.

no landline either.

cant help but feel sad as I really love his family god knows what he is telling them.

OP posts:
Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 23:20

no I cant so im stuck really.

OP posts:
QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 23:23

Don't worry about that. He's smashed your phone (the 4th) so you can't access emergency services should you or DC need them, taken the car and your house keys. He's hardly going to look like an angel is he?

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 12/07/2019 23:27

You can't let him keep you a prisoner OP. You need help without him knowing about it.

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 12/07/2019 23:35

I know your right I cant imagine he has told his parents what he's done though.
going to try get some sleep.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 12/07/2019 23:40

Does your mum have email?

PickAChew · 12/07/2019 23:40

Sorry -- just missed that you did email.

Muddledupme · 12/07/2019 23:44

Could you pm someone on here to message your mum for you?

Nameisthegame · 12/07/2019 23:45

I would try and get in contact with your mum, pack everything you need documents etc and anything dc need. You can order a taxi online have a google search and try and get hold of woman’s aid. This man is unhinged

Nameisthegame · 12/07/2019 23:45

Sending love and support your way x your stronger than you think

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