Cheating.

[Michellepebbles86]

Ok, so I need help! I have no friends to talk to about this and it’s driving me crazy.

I suspect my fiance of 4 years is cheating on me. Again. We live together and have done for 3 years.

All the signs are there. I just can’t prove a thing and even if I did he would deny it. 2 years ago 2 desperate women found me on Facebook to tell me they were messaging and had slept with him. He denied both and still does to this day. I forgave him and moved on. Idiot I know!!! All was well until about 6 month ago.....

He keeps his phone on him constantly. Even if he wants to show me something on it he will screenshot it and message it me. He leaves the room to talk on it. It’s always on silent. Not enough to warrant a worry I know but here’s the rest..... when I ask to spend time together he’s always too busy. Too tired. But can go on his xbox all the time. Can make time to go meet his friends. He’s also stopped making any kind of effort with me not just with sex but cuddles, hugs, etc.

I was casually on BT site querying a bill and his mobile is on it. So I thought I’d check why the bill was so high in case he was ordering stuff. There’s a number that he’s ringing every day on his way home from work, on his way to work and throughout the day. It’s also being texted at times when I’m either still asleep in the morning or have gone to bed at night. Alarm bells right!?? Am I being paranoid? I haven’t spoken to him for three days because I don’t know how to feel. If I say something, he will deny it point blank. Also he has a knack of turning things around on me whenever I say I’m unhappy with something. So I just don’t. I can’t afford to leave him or kick him out right now. I feel so trapped with all this info, these feelings and what to do!!!

[lunakitty2609]

So sorry you're going through this. It sucks that he's done this to you again.
Sending love and hugs to you

[ofwolfandman]

That's fair enough, whatever you feel is best. But please make sure you sought help if you feel a decline. 🌸

[ofwolfandman]

Seek* not sought 😂

[whatwouldbigfatfannydo]

As the daughter of a woman who allowed herself to be treated like a doormat because she didn't want to hurt her kids, I can assure you that the toxic relationship we grew up witnessing was far more damaging than the alternative. As a result, I have probably tolerated much more than I should have in relationships and I do regret that.

I can't speak for your own children, of course, but I'd put money on the fact that they'll love you no matter what you do. If the day comes that they find out, they'll be on your side and will respect you. They will only see how strong you are and the only 'blame' you will have is the responsibility for taking a difficult path and giving them a better life.

You are not putting your kids through anything. You are not the one breaking a family up. That joke of a man took any choice away from you the moment he considered cheating.

You are amazing OP. You've got this!

[Michellepebbles86]

He just rang that number for 15 minutes. I dont even get a text on his break. It’s just getting worse the more I look, the more it all points towards one thing

[SwordofGryffindor]

Why didnt you believe the women on fb ? No one would do that as a joke

[Michellepebbles86]

Omg I’ve just put something together....on his day off he offers to do the school run. The times he is ringing on that day is the school run times!!! I’m ringing that number in the next hour. I’m just gathering the courage.

[Michellepebbles86]

He said she was lying. Then the next one he said it was before he met me and she was just in love with him. She bothered me and harassed me for 18 month I had to go to the police in the end

[KnittingForMittens]

LTB.

[crustycrab]

How far back does this go? Do you only have so much billing history? She sounds pretty available for chats, I'm assuming she's not at work. Sahm? Someone from school possibly?

[Michellepebbles86]

What does lbt mean?

[crustycrab]

Leave the bastard

[Michellepebbles86]

It will only let me see last months aswell. I’ve screenshotted wverythinf. Just rang and no answer and no voicemail. Hit a brick wall now.

[crustycrab]

You could speak to bt and say you need copies of your bills for the last year. They might be able to email them. Have you checked the online banking for random flowers, restaurants etc? Or if he's been "away with work" at any point purchases made could show him somewhere he said he wasn't?

[Michellepebbles86]

I have the bank card and he takes money out as and when he needs it so nothing to show sadly. His xbox subscription has just been paid leaving us with hardly anything. It’s just take take take...blah. That’s how I feel

[SMellisa]

So sorry to hear this OP. I have just read the whole thread. You sound stronger with each post. We are here to listen to you and at least try and guide you and support you. The feeling absolutely sucks.

[Michellepebbles86]

I’ve found her

[Michellepebbles86]

I’m no longer strong. I’ve seen the pictures. I’ve seen the comments. His bag his packed on the front and I’m locking my door. I’ve made it so the kids aren’t here. They won’t see it. I’ll cross that bridge tomorrow but for now.....he doesn’t step another foot across this family’s doorstep

[crustycrab]

Oh no. You are still strong, just in shock and it won't always feel like this.

[foreverhanging]

Good for you op

[PicsInRed]

Sounds like strength to me.

[Naughty1205]

Well done OP, you are being amazingly strong. Kick him out to fuck. Hang in there.

[Choice4567]

You are being strong for your children and doing great

[Michellepebbles86]

In sweating to hell, my heart is racing but I know I’ve done the right thing. I’ve packed all I can for now and I’ll do the rest when I see fit. I don’t know how this is going to go down but hopefully he will think the kids are in and not kick off on the front. I’ve blocked his number so I can’t talk to him tonight as I don’t think that’s a good idea at all. Too emotional right now. She’s slim, she’s pretty and she’s younger than me and he’s 12 years older than me. Fuck it. They can have each other and live happily ever after. I will never speak to him again.

[mrsb345]

Absolutely horrendous that you're going through this.
Make sure you have a glass of something strong to cheers yourself for being so strong and putting your children first. 🌸