Do you see watching porn as cheating?

[jonesy22]

My DM has caught my stepdad watching porn. She is so hurt and doesn't know if she can look at him in the same way because she sees this as cheating.

I do understand where she is coming from but at the same time I feel a lot of men watch porn. (Women too!)

What do you think? I'm trying to console her but I don't really know what to say!

No

@Chovihano
Thank you for these two very telling statements. They speak volumes about your privilege.

I'm a director of a company.
Would I want a child of mine to be in porn films (not sure why you only mention girls) of course not

You are happy to be a consumer of this industry - as long as it's other peoples children providing you with this "service".

You missed the last part of that paragraph @StephanieSJW :

Would I want a child of mine to be in porn films (not sure why you only mention girls) of course not, anymore than I'd want them to be lawyers defending criminals, or city wankers.

You've twisted that to fit your tirade.

How can you claim feminism when all you are doing is attacking other women for exercising their own freedom? That is not feminism.

I have a very dear friend who for a number of years worked in the porn industry, it was her choice and she actively sought out that line of work. The stories you claim as the 'norm' are not, abuse happens but it's a small subsection of the industry and not accepted. The videos and photos must users are accessing are from reputable sites (and most are owned by the same person).

I don't deny there are fundamental flaws in our culture and society but preaching the hate that you are is not helping the cause.

Ok. Lets look at the full statement

Would I want a child of mine to be in porn films (not sure why you only mention girls) of course not, anymore than I'd want them to be lawyers defending criminals, or city wankers

The same point still stands. @Chovihano is a company director. They may one day be in need of a criminal lawyer if there are dodgy accounting practices going on in their company. Look at what happened in Barclays and Patisserie Valerie. BTW they are not "criminals" until they are convicted. That is precisely why we have defence lawyers. If Chovihano ever needs one, say for example if the police were to seize their computer hard drive or subpoena their internet search history. This has happened to a lot of innocent people recently. I am sure they are very glad that someone's children trained to become defence attorneys.

Also, as a company director, I take it there could be times when his business would want to raise capital. This would require Chovihano to use the services of a "City Wanker" as she/he calls them.

Again, in all three cases, the hypocrisy is still there
I will use porn, defence lawyers and city wankers as long as they are other peoples children

his or her. I don't know what sex Chovihano is.

No I don’t view it as cheating, and as I enjoy it, if it was a dealbreaker for someone I was dating then I wouldn’t date them as our boundaries would be far too different for us to make it work.

I watch porn. DH doesn't. He knows I watch it and we're both fine with it. I'd never cheat on him ever.

@Pinkgin22 and @MrsArchchancellorRidcully

Same question to you both. Would you be happy for your children to become porn stars?

@stephaniesjw
This thread isn’t about that. This is about whether you think it’s cheating. Why don’t you start your own thread rather than hi jacking other’s.
& for the record no. It would not bother me in the slightest if they wanted to go into porn.

Well at least you're not hypocritical.

Would you be happy for porn to be included in your children's school guidance on careers as a positive and fulfilling career option?

You’re obsessed Stephanie. As others have said, why not start your own thread if you wanna debate/force your views down people’s throats to death? People respond to your questions in good faith and when they don’t say what you’re hoping they’ll say (for example that they’d prefer their kid not go into the adult work industry) you find something else to try and ‘win’ your point with. It’s tedious and derailing, and not remotely what the thread is about. Hard to take you seriously tbh.

Highlighting the hypocrisy, entitlement and privilege of "I enjoy porn but only if it involves other people's children" is not breaking any MN rules.

I realise it is not what the typical MN reader (CEOs and company directors dontchaknow 😎) expects to be confronted with. No doubt from the comfort of their oh-so-glamorous lives or waiting for the Waitrose delivery .... porn is just another middle-class "convenience" they consume... as long as its other peoples children (not my Persephone or Sebastian).

Stephanie I personally think you are ace. People have massive dissonance with porn. It's horrific and I wouldn't date a man who uses\watches it. It being empowering is a big massive lie.

Thank you o appreciate it. I can't believe how much it has been normalised and accepted and how many privileged middle class types see it as something so harmless (as long as it's not little Perdita and Willow creating it).

No, watching porn is not the same as cheating.

I don’t see it as cheating. Occasionally watch it myself.

No porn is not a fulfilling career choice for most I'm sure, but then neither is working in McDonald's or cleaning station toilets. Would I recommend them to any anybody's kids? No. I assume that you would.

@AloneLonelyLoner

No porn is not a fulfilling career choice for most I'm sure, but then neither is working in McDonald's or cleaning station toilets. Would I recommend them to any anybody's kids? No. I assume that you would
🤣🤣🤣
Your condescension is truly breathtaking. I am sure that from the lofty heights of the hallowed CEO's office you can look down your nose at anyone who serves in McDonald's or cleans toilets in a service station. These may he humble, lowly jobs in eyes and ones you would never dream of allowing dear little Cosima Bea to do.

Serving others (in the most humble but essential tasks e.g. providing a quick, economical meal or ensuring the cleanliness of sanitation facilities ) are how millions of people provide food for their families and put a roof over their heads. These jobs have dignity - unlike the acts you and your husband enjoy watching young girls do for your titillation and enjoyment.

I see that even as feminist 🤨CEO you have all the disdain and privilege of your Male counterparts.

I would bet my mortgage that the person who cleans the toilets in your CEO suite is an Eastern European on minimum wage.

Wow. That's offensive. Well done. I shall tell my mother that her genes are good for nothing but cleaning. Thanks. 👏👏👏

Correction - not young girls I presume. I should have said women

No not cheating, I tell him to watch it then he leaves me alone 😂

@AloneLonelyLoner
Will you also tell your mother that you'd by happy to for Siena Viiolet (her granddaughter) to go into the porn industry? Remember this is what you said up thread in answer to my direct question ...

Of course, if that were a genuine career choice

BTW I do respect that unlike others on this thread you are not hypocritical about this.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

you are silly.

@nataliemum25 good plan. I have tried it, but it never seems to work...

Now maybe we should get back to the point of the thread.

I think what matters is how she feels at the end of the day. She needs to talk to him about it and explore how it effects her. I was in a similar position many years ago, I spent many years unpicking my feelings about it, but in the end it was about me, not the hopeless and silly man I was married to.