Am I the woman on the side?

[AmITheGarlicBread]

So it’s a bit of a long one. I’ve been seeing this guy for around 6 months now. When we met he said he had been split from his ex for around 3 months. After a few months of seeing him and him staying at my house I pushed the topic of why he hadn’t invited me to stay at his?

After pushing the topic a few days later again, he spilled the beans and said that his ex still lives with him (he owns the house, they’re not married) and she won’t leave until he gives her money, which he is not willing to do.

Fast forward a few months later and she is still there but supposedly buying a house so she will go once she has somewhere to live. She has apparently found a place and had the offer accepted. It’s chain free but is still taking months to complete?

He won’t give over any information about her, I know she’s blonde and my height. But I don’t know her name or anything like that. He had no social media so I can’t look on that to find her and see if they’re actually still together.

I don’t want to feel like I have wasted 6 months of my life and I do really like him. I just don’t know if he’s telling the truth and how much longer I should wait it out for.

Opinions on this, and also does a chain free house ever take that long to complete?

The reason they split is because she cheated on him supposedly.

Xx

If you are happy being the OW and pretending you don't know that is your choice, OP.

AmITheGarlicBread Tue 02-Jul-19 23:36:47
@Ginger1982 I have! He just says oh you don’t need to know. Things are going smoothly with the house sale and I don’t want her to pull out of the sale if she finds out I’m dating someone new. Fishy right??

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This was SCREAMINGLY a pile of shite and doesn't even make sense. Surely him seeing someone new would be an incentive to move out and onward (if this were true, which it isn't). He isn't even a "good" liar. Can you not see that?

I'd arrange a viewing of the house if it's really for sale!

(No, I'd actually just ask him outright and probably dump)

If you know the address you could google it to see if it’s advertised for sale.

I wonder if he's getting a kick out of it?! What strange behaviour.
You need to move on OP.

OP, I think he could wear a sash saying 'taken', a crown reading 'husband', and hire a marching band to follow him around singing 'he's a liar, he's a liar', and you would still be here asking 'am I the OW? Shall I dig deeper a week on Tuesday when we meet in our seedy out-of-town dive where once again I won't meet anyone he knows?'

You're faking dumb and you know it. And the only one you are hurting is yourself.

A few pp’s on here have described how they also had to live with an ex for a few months so it is a possibility but the real red flag for me is that you have never met any friends or family in the 6 months you have been together.

Stake out the house and I bet you will find that you are the OW. Sorry.

6 months really isn’t long out of a lifetime

Id day you’ve ‘spent 6 months with him’ but you’ll be ‘wasting’ another moment spent with him

You know he’s lied to you
He’s told you ‘you don’t need to know’ (what you do:don’t ‘need’ to know is YOUR decision, not his. He probably feels ‘you don’t need to know’ who else he’s fucking either (and there will be others)

Stop being such a doormat & bin him off FFS

Stop pretending to be so ignorant op.

Ps 6 months wasted is better then 2 years wasted. Cut all ties asap.

It obviously sounds fishy but no one on here knows for definite. I'd call him out on all of it and demand some answers. I hope it all turns out well for you.

I would have done driven to his house one evening to see who really lived there; not waiting around asking only to be fed more lies.

Any news OP? I know you said that you were supposed to see him yesterday so I'm hoping for a happy outcome

The Op is still out looking for clues that this man is being honest with her

Does he take you places around town in public? Greatest give away to me is if he can't be with you within a certain postcode area x

What happened OP?