Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

I’d be rather sad to lose the bus, having found it quite late. It is indeed a rare haven of no nastiness and lots of wise words of support. So many inspirational souls that I’m unlikely to ever meet in ‘real life’ but who feel like family because we’ve all faced similar struggles.

@Craftycorvid I'm just popping on to give the bus a nice pre-holiday clean and entice everyone back. waves opal fruits at every one

Good idea venus!

The strangest thing. Got sent home from work yesterday as I've picked up the flu bug going round and I really started craving a big glass of cold white wine to the point I could almost taste it. Will that craving ever leave?
I still have a cupboard full of alcohol which I will be donating to the drinks cupboard at work for the Christmas party and a rather expensive bottle of limited edition anniversary whisky to sell if I can ever work out a price for it!

It’s pretty intense, isn’t it, Mint? That feeling of almost being able to taste a lovely single malt or cold sauv’ blanc grabs me occasionally and gives me a bit of a wobble. I hope one day that feeling is more a nostalgic ‘ah, that’s a lovely memory’ than a craving. The enjoyment for me was only ever in the first glass or even the first few sips, after that it was getting that dopamine hit. And the further I get along the AF path the more I can accept how brief the enjoyment of drinking was in reality and how much better I genuinely do feel now.

Oh I agree. Life is so much better without that horrible hangover the next day .
I think it's a bit of a struggle in the run up to Christmas as every bloody ad seems to be centred around alcohol! Even looking for Secret Santa gifts requires carefully navigating drink related items.

And dodging fruit cakes laced with brandy! (Not a euphemism for any random family members, by the way).

Ha! I'm allergic to apricots and loads of mince pies etc have their peel in so I can swerve them very easily!! But gin/processo candles? Really? And I've even seen processo bubble bath as going out smelling like a pisshead is really cool right?🙈

Excuse the typos!

Hello old friends! It’s been a while and I don’t have an inspirational update but I don’t want to see the bus run out of steam. I often ponder how different babes are doing. So in that spirit, I will do a quick catch up - I am still drinking but I have kept up the dry January app so I know I have reduced a lot - 6 months of dry nights out of 12 for the last 2 years. Not brilliant but better. My boys are now both taller than me, oldest is driving, which is nerve racking for me! I am working full time in a finance department-no more diamond selling. Dp is still D most of the time - as long as he can cycle frequently and we are heading into another Canadian winter bbrrrrr. Hope other babes drop by to say hi and love to all those keeping the bus running. Long live Gerald!!

I’ve flagged up the Brave Babes thread to a poster who is struggling, hope you don’t mind.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3761781-I-m-an-alcoholic-and-I-ve-hit-rock-bottom?watched=1&msgid=92143263#92143263

Hi Brave Babes.

Posted in alcohol forum but glad I found this number.

After getting horribly drunk at my work Christmas do, smashing my phone, getting on the wrong train and getting lost in a dodgy part of town, spending £200 and falling head first into a lamppost, cracking my tooth in the process, I've decided to take a bit of a look at my life. Glad I found this thread.

@JorisBonson Hello and poor you. Welcome to the bus. It sounds like you've a bit of a shit time. Theres no judgement here. Are you ok today?

Thanks @MintToBee, still very much in the "beer fear" stage but thankfully I think I'm physically ok. Still thinking in horror of what could have happened.

Will be following and joining this thread with real interest and intent!

Hi Joris and welcome aboard. How are you doing? Do you have people around you that you trust (as well as on here)? Try and be kind to yourself and rest up if you can.

My realisation was being at a training event which was low/no alcohol and basically bolting at the end of each day straight for the pub in order to smother my feelings. It shocked me that I was panicking at being told not to drink and, paradoxically, that seemed to be the thing that finally helped me stop.

Hi @Craftycorvid. Got a great bunch of friends and a long suffering DP who I think would welcome a touch of sobriety from me. My own brain is the only thing I need to get in shape!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

@Craftycorvid I hear that! I'm about to embark on a 7 day stint at work where I can't drink and it panics me every time. It should not be like that!

(I also end up sneaking one most nights 😒)

@JorisBonson I used to live in London and it was the norm every night to go to the pub after work before getting the tube home then getting off the tube and meeting the ex husband for a drink. Its amazing how much alcohol plays a part in life.

I hope you feel a bit better today. Get some nice treats in to distract you from the cravings. I have elderflower cordial with lemonade and ice and go for a bath with BBC iplayer to through mine. I'm currently on series 4 of the box set of Waterloo Road!

Fever Tree flavoured tonics are nice, and ice cream!

Hello to all...just found this thread and feel like it has come at the right time. Having been a regular drinker since my teens, I have cut back a lot over the last year. Sadly I got very smashed at the work Xmas party the other day and although I suspect colleagues will only be able to say that I was really drunk, (I don’t think I did anything too embarrassing apart from being so trolleyed) I am beyond angry with myself and feeling so anxious about tomorrow. Been tearful all weekend and just feeling so down.

I am the kind of person who finds it very hard to stop at one although I have been able to cut back a lot after reading a book about sobriety last year. Now thinking that the only way to really stop this happening again is just to stop completely... but so scared. A life completely without alcohol seems unachievable. It’s part and parcel of so many things and it’s certainly something I grew up with as being the norm.

Just looking for a bit of inspiration I guess. I need to do this but with crimbo coming...not the best time to try stopping completely but am also thinking that it’s a good time to face up to it all properly. If I can get through Xmas...I can get through anything... Tell me I am right!

Hi @cinderella78, I hear you about going back to work! I'm back on Tuesday and fucking dreading it.

Heading out for Sunday lunch with a teetotal friend so I'm going to pick his brains on how he did it.

@jorisbonson please do share any useful tips! Hope Tues goes well!

Hello everyone, thought I would post again as I haven't been on here for a while. I am now 135 days AF and it's beginning to feel normal to be sober. I still go to around three AA meetings a week and I have made a lot of good friends in AA. I am not in the least bit religious and actually most of the friends I have made are similar to me. I did do a lot of thinking and reading about higher powers before identifying that my higher power is the universe, but I don't define what the universe consists of.

I use AA as a blueprint for living my life in a way that makes me happy. My sponsor, and other AA members, have helped me with a few difficult work situations recently where in the past I would have blundered in, made the same mistakes, and ended up drinking to console myself. I have been able, with help, to step back and understand how my behaviour was contributing to the problems. It wasn't that my behaviour was bad, it was just that I was trying to fix things, rather than let them pan out. I can't say too much in case anyone who knows me reads this, but changing the way I behave has been transformative. I can't pretend that my life is perfect, but I am now able to stop and think before acting, which has made a huge difference.

I have found that drinking AF drinks like that pink Fever Tree tonic water at events has helped me get through some social and work events where previously I would have got completely legless. And it is so good waking up in the morning with no hangover and no dread.

I do a bit of 'quit lit' reading, and I am a member of a few Facebook groups for people trying to give up alcohol. I also listen to some Secular AA podcasts.

For me, the main thing was not trying to do it on my own. I need the support of others and find that the company of other sober people really helps me. I love listening to people share at AA meetings too. I try to listen to similarities rather than differences, as we are all individual but we are all powerless over alcohol. Gosh I sound like I am preaching here. I promise I am a complete reprobate who just happens to have given up alcohol