Husband kissed his work colleague

[Flowerrose]

My husband told me today that during a night out with his work friends last friday he kissed one of his colleagues. He said he wasn't thinking properly because he had been drinking but then I saw him when he came home that night and was a bit tipsy but far from enough to say he didn't know what he was doing. This has really taken me by surprise, I don't understand why he would do that. We have a good relationship, we've been together for 14 years, married for nearly 4, we have a 2 month old DD, I really thought he wasn't like that. But then I wonder if I'm overreacting, it was just a kiss and he feels guilty enough to have come and told me about it (though he did think about it for a few days first). It could have meant nothing but then i do wonder if it did mean something, he spends a lot of time working with this woman and they're good friends, surely you wouldn't just kiss your friend for no reason? I really don't know what to even say to him

I'd assume he was seen and he's telling you before someone else does.

It’s cheating. He cheated on you.

He works with her and I’m guessing there is sexual tension there also.

I would not be ok with this.

In your shoes I would be packing his stuff not on mn right now....

I'm definitely not okay with it, I'm just very shocked at the same time

I agree with Bluntness. Someone saw them and he has given you as watered down a version as possible before you risk hearing it from else where.

What a total shithead.

Bluntness has it but it was a kiss. It doesn’t constitute cheating in my book.

Have you noticed any suspicious behaviour from him lately? More protective over his phone?

Why was he on a night out when you have a 2 month old?

I agree with Bluntness.

He kissed her in public, around co-workers who could have seen. I wonder what he would have done had they been in private. More than a kiss, I bet.

I think a kiss is unforgivable. Kissing is very very intimate, there's a reason sex workers often refuse to kiss but will do everything else.
I would be devastated if dh did the same to me and wouldn't be able to forgive him.

I also think someone saw him.

I’d suspect an affair.

I’d suspect an affair.

Yup. His "confession" reeks of preemptive damage control.

Think he's told you before someone else does. If it was was my husband be mental !!!

2 month old baby, and he's done this? That's so cruel.

He's a cunt for doing this to you.

How well do you know his drunk habits? I only ask because I only look moderately tipsy when really really drunk. Even so, by the sounds of it it’s not good. I would only see drinking as an excuse when someone was very very drunk and didn’t have a prior history of inappropriate sexual behaviours while drunk (obviously if they did they’d have to avoid getting drunk out and about and could be reasonably held responsible for any associated intoxicated actions).

He’s a slimy wanker and told you for damage mitigation but this comment is stupid:

Why was he on a night out when you have a 2 month old?

Is there a law against this? I went on a night out when my baby less than a month old.

@bakebakebake is no parent of a 2 month old allowed one night out?

OP, I suspect more too. Do you know the woman?

I’d feel slightly (oh so slightly) less upset if he’d kissed a stranger in a pub.
But a colleague... this isn’t just going to go away.

By good friend how much good? Chatting and texting out of work kind of good or just chatting at work and going out as a big group of colleagues?
I would be asking him to cut down on this 'friendship'.

I'm going against the grain here. These things happen - a lot - because of the huge amount of time people spend at work. I've kissed many work frogs in my time (though I wasn't married) through boredom, false feelings of intimacy, mutual loneliness at being away from home...

If you value your relationship I would advise you don't over-react. Just sit down and talk to him. A mistaken kiss is not something to lose a partnership on.

I've done this. We were working on a project, spending a lot of time together and flush with our success. One night while out with work celebrating it just happened and as a pp said suddenly the sexual tension was very tense and we kissed.

It quickly made me take stock and back off, and yet there was no tension on the Monday morning, sexual or otherwise, we just carried on as if nothing had happened.

I never told my DH and if anyone seen it they never mentioned it. Not very helpful to you but it really was just one of those moments that happened once.

I’d be thinking damage limitation too.

Why tell? Why would you risk the fall out of it was ‘just’ a kiss?

Answer is: you wouldn’t. You’d make a pact with yourself to never do it again and take it to the grave.... yet he chose to tell. Something more is up.

imnotbent exactly, you DIDN’T tell your DH. Why would you

You’d tell if someone else saw, you’d want to get in before they did.

There's a lot of wild speculation here.

Yes, he could be a cheating shit engaged in damage limitation.
But he could also be a stupid shit who kissed someone and doesn't want to further harm a good marriage.

No-one here knows.

OP, I'd want to see his phone and Facebook messenger (if he has it). If he doesn't let you look without buying time that's a problem.