Trembling when we talk or text

[Birdsong38]

I would really appreciate your thoughts.

Over the past few weeks, whenever I speak to a male friend on the phone, I find myself physically shaking while talking to him. This has only started recently and we have been close friends for a year. I find that it’s beginning to make my voice tremble slightly too but it may only be me who notices this.

Then, today, exactly the same thing happened during a text exchange. This is a new thing.

What’s it all about and is there anything that I can do to stop it?

Thanks.

Hmmm
Do you fancy him?
Does he terrify you?
Maybe you want us to tell us you’re in love with him....
But I’d be more inclined to say your body is telling you something you don’t want to listen to.

I don't think I've ever trembled in my life.

‘Us to tell you’ that should have said

Well describe the friend and let’s see.
What’s the content of the convos?
Is he a forbidden friend perhaps? (Married? Emotional affair?)

I’m not remotely scared of him.

I am attracted to him but I guess I’m trying to ignore that as we both have partners and are just good friends.

Any tips on how to stop it?

The conversations are very normal. Just friends catching up on stuff: father’s day, work news, TV, etc. Nothing too personal.

Stop texting him. You are edging towards an emotional affair and a lot of pain for lots of people. Sort out your own marriages first.

Oooh so you are on the brink of an emotional affair, but you don’t want to admit it.
The best way is to keep every message short and breezy until they fizzle out entirely.
What’s wrong with your own relationship that you need to do this?

We are genuinely just friends. No flirting. Nothing. Just this shaking. I’m confident that I can be friends with someone who I find attractive and never act on that attraction.

Pull yourself together and stop acting like a character in a Victorian novel? Trembling

How is an EA different to a platonic male/female friendship? I feel like we have the latter.

I think you're being naive OP. You are attracted to him. You tremble when speaking with or texting him. It is bothering you enough to post about it and ask for help.
I think you should be distancing yourself from the friendship and give it time to cool off. Give your marriage some attention.

I know it’s ridiculous but it’s involuntary. My body just starts shaking. Presumably it’s an adrenaline thing. I don’t want to tremble/be Victorian!

I’m confident that ...

Doesn’t matter what your head thinks. Clearly your body is telling you otherwise!

Sounds like adrenaline. Stop talking to him! No good can come from this!

I don't know how else you stop it.

It’s not platonic if you tremble (wtf) when you speak to him - do you get the fanny gallops too

Also how did you meet?
It’s stands out that he’s a ‘new close friend’
And that you talk on the phone as well as simple texts. It might just be me, but I think when you have a partner it’s quite rare to suddenly build close friendships with people of the opposite sex. They tend to be relationships that build over a lot of time. Otherwise it gets messy

floramcdougal ha!! No fanny gallops 😜

I think you're being naive OP. You are attracted to him. You tremble when speaking with or texting him. It is bothering you enough to post about it and ask for help.I think you should be distancing yourself from the friendship and give it time to cool off. Give your marriage some attention

This is excellent advice and you should follow it.

We met at work and just clicked as friends. Loads in common.

What like?

I've never trembled talking to a bloke I didn't fancy. Apart from Ian McKellan. But I'm guessing you don't work with him. And if you're fanny galloping (love that!) Over him, you're trembling up the wrong tree.

Does your dp know you're calling and texting a male colleague that you find attractive?

I know it's hard to hear but back off!!! While you can

Do you work in a high pressure job?
Police/ teaching/nhs or similar
Or a job where you and your ‘friend’ feel like you really ‘get’ each other because people outside of your workplace don’t understand the pressure/stress?

Rashatash, what do we have in common?
Our occupation, we like the same films/TV, books, music, etc. Have a similar sense of humour. We like each other so are interested in each other’s lives. We support each other where we can.

Rashatash, yes. Exactly that.