Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Trembling when we talk or text

103 replies

Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:00

I would really appreciate your thoughts.

Over the past few weeks, whenever I speak to a male friend on the phone, I find myself physically shaking while talking to him. This has only started recently and we have been close friends for a year. I find that it’s beginning to make my voice tremble slightly too but it may only be me who notices this.

Then, today, exactly the same thing happened during a text exchange. This is a new thing.

What’s it all about and is there anything that I can do to stop it?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Usuallyinthemiddle · 18/06/2019 23:44

rash is wise. He doth protest too much.

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:44

I don’t want to have an affair with him. If we had met years ago then maybe we’d be a couple but we’re not so we just have to get on with being friends. I would like the shaking to stop though!

OP posts:
Unburnished · 18/06/2019 23:45

Ive had this. It was excitement and anxiety which felt like fear and being upset. Very odd. Lovely man. No real cause. It was just the effect he had on me. I took beta blockers.

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:46

Unburnished are you still together?

OP posts:
Usuallyinthemiddle · 18/06/2019 23:47

I'd be horrified if my DH was speaking out of work to a colleague he thought he could have been in a relationship with if he had met them before he met me.

MayFayner · 18/06/2019 23:48

You fancy him and you’re laying the groundwork to forgive yourself for the upcoming affair, citing uncontrollable physical reactions or some shite.

What’s wrong with your own relationship that you need to do this?

^wtf?

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:49

I’m sure there are lots of ‘ones’ that could have been. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Hopefully this trembling will disappear as quickly as it came.

OP posts:
emilyhamptoncakeslice · 18/06/2019 23:49

Shaking maybe excitement? Your body feels nerves and exciting pretty much the same way (think roller coaster)

Rashatash · 18/06/2019 23:49

I think you really want somebody to say
That this happened to them and actually it was the sign of true love, because that’s what it means, the body trembles when people are destined for each other. I mean it kindly... I think you’re in massive denial about your feelings.

Unburnished · 18/06/2019 23:50

@Birdsong38 Yes! Grin He still makes me tremble but less so now (Ive known him for years).

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:50

MayFayner, there’s not going to be an affair. I’m not daft. I know that would never turn out well.

OP posts:
Rashatash · 18/06/2019 23:50

Your questions reveal more than anything Wink

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:51

I do enjoy my interactions with him emilyhamptoncakeslice so it could well be excitement.

OP posts:
Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:53

The reason I asked if they were still together was because I was worried about the need of the other poster to medicate to calm it down. Not because I’m hoping for a long lasting romance myself.

OP posts:
LittleDoll · 18/06/2019 23:54

People who are cheating/interested in cheating always over react to others cheating. They accuse others a lot too. I know a woman like it. She constantly judges other women, calls them slags and tramps, expresses her disgust at their (usually imagined) affairs. Turned out shes been shagging around behind her partners back for years. Shes recently mysteriously lost an 18 week pregnancy probably when she realised she was seen in town 16 and 18 weeks before that screaming at another man shed been shagging.

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:55

I don’t think trembling means it’s love. I think one could tremble for a number of reasons. In this case I’m just perplexed about why it’s started recently. My feelings for him haven’t really changed over time.

OP posts:
ooft · 18/06/2019 23:55

Uh-huh!

Windmillwhirl · 18/06/2019 23:56

My first thought was low blood sugar...

Usuallyinthemiddle · 18/06/2019 23:57

What's that weird sound thing people go to on YouTube to go tingly? Does he have a tingle voice??

Ginger1982 · 18/06/2019 23:57

Your reasons for not having an affair (I know it wouldn't turn out well) rather than (I love my husband very much and don't want to be anyone else) speaks volumes.

If my DH was talking to a female friend and feeling this way I'd be pretty upset. And if you're talking to this man about personal things, and sharing thoughts and feelings that most people would share with a partner, then it is an emotional affair.

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:58

People who are cheating/interested in cheating always over react to others cheating. Really? I genuinely didn’t know that. I can imagine a person getting more paranoid and accusatory if their mind is drifting themselves.

OP posts:
Jemima232 · 18/06/2019 23:59

Oh My Gawd, OP.

You may not realise it but you're edging towards having an affair.

Don't be naïve. Nip this friendship in the bud before things progress.

Is your marriage okay?

Original poster
Birdsong38 · 18/06/2019 23:59

Maybe it is just low blood sugar and it’s coincidence that I have had it during our last few interactions!

OP posts:
Original poster
Birdsong38 · 19/06/2019 00:01

I can’t edge towards an affair if it’s only me who has feelings (that I an doing a good job of suppressing).

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 19/06/2019 00:02

-do you find him perfect something
-or his reactions about cheating
make you fear and tremble?