Trembling when we talk or text

[Birdsong38]

I would really appreciate your thoughts.

Over the past few weeks, whenever I speak to a male friend on the phone, I find myself physically shaking while talking to him. This has only started recently and we have been close friends for a year. I find that it’s beginning to make my voice tremble slightly too but it may only be me who notices this.

Then, today, exactly the same thing happened during a text exchange. This is a new thing.

What’s it all about and is there anything that I can do to stop it?

Thanks.

I had a boyfriend when I was a teenager who made me shake every time I saw or spoke to him on the phone. I often threw up too. I have no idea why. It had never happened to me before and never has since.

It was most bizarre.

But the job doesn’t explain the trembling does it? Just explains the rapport and closeness.

Ah yes
Well then this is what happens.
You are just on your way to having an affair.
Best not to do it, it will cause terrible pain.
Probably for you as much as anyone else.
How’s your marriage. Be straight with your answer, don’t kid yourself.

Anxiety? Are you subconsciously on a precipice and anxious about it?

Yabbers how did you feel about him? More intense than other relationships or was it just random?

The trembling is the guilt.
You’re body is talking to you, it knows what you’re up to !

But it takes two to have an affair and even if I was interested in having one (I’m not. I know that no good would come of it) I’m certain he wouldn’t want that. He’s very anti cheating.

I don’t feel guilty!

Have you ever thought about shagging him?

Erm. I had a dream about shagging him once!

They all say they’re anti cheating.
If he was pro cheating nobody would want him

And how was it?

But he really is. He heard about someone who had cheated and was appalled.

The dream? It was nice! But it was just a dream.

Rash you've hit that nail!

Yeah it’s a weird psychology.
Also the way they test the water with women they think they might like an affair with.
It’s a bit like how domestic abusers will approach a guy in the pub hurting his wife and stand up to him, yet abuse their own wife at home .

It's the guilt.

He is really extremely anti cheating. Are you saying he’s making it up intentionally or that he’s subconsciously telling himself that but wants to cheat. I don’t get it.

I definitely don’t feel guilty.

An old boss of mine did just this. Fired a guy for inappropriate conduct and told every one who would listen how much he valued his wife then , tah-dah, 1 year on, cheated on her with one of his fellow SMT!

Are you Angela Merkel?

He's trying not to sound like someone you wouldn't like!

Why would I be Angela Merkel? I have clearly missed some AM gossip.

So you are all guilty because you fancy your colleague and you dream about shagging him 😱
But you are in denial.
Don’t worry , it’s a crush.
But best to leave it that way.
Unless your marriage is crap and you feel unappreciated and unloved. In which case you could shag your colleague but the truth is , he might not leave his wife .
It’s like if you go to Thailand and everyone’s wearing floaty fisherman trousers and looking so glam and cool. So you buy them.
But when you come home you just look like a new age hippy in baggy trousers.
And that’s what work place affairs are like.
The fantasy is always better.

But his anti cheating reactions are so extreme. I have found it a bit surprising quite how angry and annoyed he’s got about people we know cheating. I haven’t come across that before.
Surely if you actually wanted to cheat with someone you wouldn’t go that full on about it?