Apologies if this has been done before, but just wanting a second opinion as the longer I wait to be taken out, the more I start to doubt whether or not I’m being unreasonable for wanting a date in the first place!
Had a long chat with DH just over a year ago (following a very turbulent patch brought about by his stupid, yet shitty actions at the time) about the importance of date nights, or at least, how important I thought they were, and the benefits of having one on one time, feeling close to one another again etc.
Since then, he’s taken me out once. My mum watched our DC’s and we went on a bike ride and stopped off for a pub lunch en route home. It was a lovely, cheap and cheerful day which we both seemed to enjoy so thought we’d do more of the same, but nothing ever materialised.
Since that date, which was about 9 months ago, I’ve mentioned a few times about going out, having dinner somewhere local and cheap, maybe roping his family in to help with childcare so we can go for a child-free walk along the local beach, have a look in some of the lovely vintage stores close to our home (without the hassle of manoeuvring a double buggy in narrow aisles full of expensive objects), or a nice glass of wine in a pub close by etc, but it seems to have been constantly falling on deaf ears.
Last month, DH went away for a long weekend with some friends, when he returned, I told him that seeing as he could save up so much money for a trip with his mates, it’d be nice if he could put £30 aside for a cheap meal for us soon seeing as we'd only been out the once in over a year.
He agreed, and promised he’d arrange childcare this month and he’ll take me out. Well, no plans have been made for this month as of yet, and there are only two weekends left... he’s not asked neither my nor his family to watch our DC’s over the next couple weeks (I would know if he had spoken with them and the only babysitters we ever use are family), so I've now made arrangements for us to see my family next weekend and seeing as he didn't mention about having plans for the two of us, I'm assuming nothing was going ahead date-wise for this upcoming weekend.. leading me to resign myself to accepting the fact that a date won’t be happening this month either.
Now, I know I might receive some replies saying ‘why don’t you take him out?’ and while yes, I could do that, this is about me wanting to see some effort from my DH. My mum took our DC’s out a few weekends ago, and I had to ask DH three times to pop to the pub with me for one drink, and even then he sat looking at his phone the whole time.
DH and I have had a rocky few years, and although I could put my hands in my own pockets and treat him, he frankly has a lot to make up for (various things which I won’t go in to right now) hence why I’ve mentioned the importance of us bonding again over date days/nights which he has instigated and put effort in to, but nothing ever happens!
I’m not expecting nor asking for frequent trips to Michelin star restaurants - we’re lucky that we live in an area where there are so many restaurants all with competitive prices and lovely food - so we’d never need to spend a fortune for a nice afternoon/evening together every other month.
But am I asking for too much by wanting to be taken out in the first place? I don't even know anymore if it's wrong for a wife to want to be taken out for a meal by her husband? Am I being a princess? I genuinely don't know.