So...My relationship just ended. Kind of.

[Itsreallyallovernow]

Well maybe went on a long hiatus rather than ended. Like One Direction or something, although he says he hopes we will get back together.

In the next few months while we take a break, he says we should date other people. I have no desire to do this although he is keen because we haven't had sex for months (as much his fault as mine) and he has needs. Despite always having told me he doesn't do 1 night stands or sex outside relationships and whatever.

He's saying he wants us to reunite eventually...but I don't think that squares with everything else he's saying.

It's probably telling that I don't feel upset. Or anything really.

Fuddle I love him. I do believe he loves me too. However sometimes that's not enough. We don't communicate well (mainly my fault) and he is a very complicated man (not all his fault but he could have sought more help for his issues). It just hasn't worked out. Maybe in 6 months he'll come back and ask to try again. Maybe this really is it and I'll never speak to or hear from him again. That's a sad thought but I think it's probably the more likely outcome of the two.

Ravenmum, I get that about the car. Our 10 year plan was to retire and I would get at least 3 dogs (I love dogs but can't have one as I work ft). I miss what that future was going to be.

However I suppose another way to look at it is that my future can still involve the dogs but lots of other unknowns which might be even better than the future I thought I had planned out. Iyswim.

Some more friends have been in touch. Nothing from my closest friends though which is disappointing. I'm thinking of sending a msg to our group chat but I can't think of anything that doesnt sound whingey or shitty.

Well done or signing up for the martial arts class and going to a festival.

Glad to hear that some other friends have been in touch. Sometimes its not always the people we would have expected who are there for us.

Just put something lighthearted on your group chat. Something like “now I’m young free and single again I’m off to X event next weekend. Anyone want to join me? “

“ anyone fancy seeing Y film / trying Z new restaurant- it’s got really good reviews “ .

I am old so don’t do text speak

For all you know, if you put something about "Who wants to help me come and curse all men while geting rat-arsed", several of your friends might actually be well up for it!

Maybe put an ad in the paper and see if anyone needs occasional weekend dog-sitting - I have a dog (just one!) and often want to do something non-doggy at the weekend, and have to find someone to look after her.

congratulations youre free. You sound like the sort of person who can do being single very well and tbh, thats actually a great thing. I think youll be a lot happier without that albatross round your neck

I don't know abput doing single well... I do ok I think. My DC are older than when I was last single, I'm in a slightly better financial/ practical position. I'm also older and hopefully a bit wiser. I hope!

Keep thinking of things that happened in our relationship that weren't great. Obviously there was a lot of good stuff too but remembering the not so good is helping me not to be sad or regret that we've split up.

Bit annoyed though that having sent a group WhatsApp to my closest friends suggesting a meet up now I'm free and single if not young, only 1 of them has replied...nothing from the others.