Is it me, how do I know?

[unhappylady1]

I am generally fairly unhappy in my marriage but scared of making the leap. Often feel I'm walking on egg shells. I'm worried he'll tell everyone what a bitch I am and that I'm to blame as that's pretty much what he tells me as the reason our marriage is failing. He says it's all me, how do I know if it's all me, I'm scared, confused, lonely, desperate and just downright sad. He says I make him ill and that he can't stand being with me anymore.

Please someone hold my hand and help me.

He gets on ok with my adult child, hasn't always been this way but better of late.

Why did they not get on before?

I have a feeling if your child knew how he behaves towards you and how you feel, they wouldn't 'get on' with him now.

No, they would absolutely hate him. They're very protective and loyal to me.

It was when they lived with us and usual teenager issues..

No, they would absolutely hate him. They're very protective and loyal to me.

I think you've just answered "is it me?" incidentally. Funny how seeing things from someone else's perspective gives you such a clear answer, isn't it.

I just cannot see how I'll get through this

You will.

Small steps.

A day at a time.

I think it's important to let your family know how he's been behaving and how you feel so they can offer some support.

Mortality good point - see what you did there and yes that's made it a little clearer.

I am giving that some thought tonight in terms of confiding with someone. I do think telling someone everything would be a huge weight of my shoulders... I absolutely know what they'd say

Btw you don't have to do anything, but you should be prepared in case he stays away and actually pursues a separation (I don't know how likely that is).
Also if you dont, sooner or later you'll be back in the same situation, essentially being abused, unhappy, stressed and down .. you have to ask yourself if you want more of it or if you want to be free of it.

Thank you again Mortality. You come across such a kind person.

I'm not making any rash decisions, there's a couple of big things going on in my life at the moment so today isn't the right time for me to make big decisions. One day at a time whilst I gather my thoughts and make some clear and calm plans for my future. I do know it can't carry on and I don't want it to. Myself and those people who care for me including my children are my priority. Going to try some shut eye, feel so very very tired

That's actually a good thing (I can't sleep if I'm upset or depressed and it's horrible), hope you get some good rest!

Oh and I found this for another poster, not sure how legit it is it not but it's working at the moment;

www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Thank you morality that's brilliant. Have a lovely Saturday