Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To actually want to praise my Husband

273 replies

BKJ89 · 05/06/2019 14:27

So, I have been on Mumsnet for a few months now and i'm finding it increasingly more difficult to find threads that are literally about praising our Husbands (partners/boyfriends/girlfriends/Wives etc).
I have seen lots and lots of posts about lazy, untidy, miserable other halves that I thought it might be nice to have a thread purely taking some time out to appreciate the great ones :)
I'm happy to say that while I understand not all Husbands are this way, mine is a true gem! He works hard to keep myself, our 2 cats and our impending little jelly bean who is growing away nicely as we speak, in a wonderful home, filled with beautiful things. Now don't get me wrong, we're by no means flush, but we are comfortable. I work full time and bring in a good wage, but he works harder for more and i'm grateful.
He is extremely domesticated and will do the washing, the cleaning, the hoovering, mowing the lawns as well as looking after his Mum & Dad and Grandparents whenever they need him. He truly is a wonderful man and every day - even when he's driving me crazy - I count my lucky stars that I landed on my feet. We met 15 years ago, have been friends since. Started dating 7 years ago and have been married for 2 years in July. He's my best friend and I can't wait to start the next part of our lifetime journey with him.
I know this sounds soppy, probably quite daft and extremely slushy, but I just wanted to see if I could try and help those who are wanting to ring their Husband's necks at the moment, to try to remember the reasons they fell in love and all the things they still love about their partners.
100% not meant to sound boasty or anything like that, so please be nice :)

OP posts:
FriarTuck · 06/06/2019 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheVanguardSix · 06/06/2019 08:35

I'm in an unhappy marriage.
I've got lots of happy stuff within my life but the marriage bit's a bit on the shit side. I actually like threads like this. Because I do get into this place where I tar every husband with my own brush and assume they're all pretty crap. Mine's not horrible, but I really didn't land on all fours like the OP. Good on you! Maybe the secret is knowing somebody for such a long period of time before getting together. You really have an understanding of each other. Good luck!

NottonightJosepheen · 06/06/2019 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

millythepink · 06/06/2019 11:25

Watching my parents unhappy marriage gave me a very jaundiced view of love and relationships. I think it's actually very positive and constructive to know that people can have very happy, enduring relationships which last all their lives.

Reading about other people's good relationships hopefully encourages you to not accept substandard behaviour. I grew up thinking that marriage was about petty point scoring and punishing each other for minor indiscretions.

It was a revelation for me that DH actually wanted to make me happy and wanted the best for me. I'd also assumed that love died out pretty quickly after marriage and that you just became more like house mates. Again, this didn't actually happen to me because I am still in love with DH even after all these years and still fancy him like mad Blush

Robin2323 · 06/06/2019 11:53

@millythepink
Couldn't agree more.
I'm more in love with dh after all these years.
I'm very lucky and remind myself often to appreciate dh and let him know. (And he does the same)

FuckMNDoubleStandards · 06/06/2019 17:29

So happy to read the positive stories, may you all keep happy for much longer. Those in hardships, I hope they ease and better days are to come your way.

OP, I do hope you come back and post more and that you haven't been scared away. Honestly, there are some wonderful people on here, sometimes you just have to shift through the bad to meet them.

Wishing you all the best.

mydogisthebest · 06/06/2019 21:26

I think it's nice to see a positive post. I get that a lot of women post in relationships because their relationship has problems but all over mumsnet there are posts generally slagging off men. They are all lazy, liars, mean and, of course, all unfaithful. That's how it seems a lot of the time reading on here.

A poster said along the lines of "we all had happy marriages for a couple of years". Well lots of couples have happy marriages for many years, often for life.

Me and DH are very happy and still very much in love after 40 years but, admittedly, we don't have children. Not saying that having children ruins your marriage as both my siblings have been very happily married for 38 years and both have children. Likewise 4 of my cousins have been married for over 25 years and are very happy (2 of them have children).

No DH is not perfect but then neither am I. I do know that neither of us would be unfaithful

Mystraightenersarebroken · 06/06/2019 22:32

mydog you don't know that, you believe it. Nothing wrong with that but the relationships board us littered with women who 'knew' their partner or husband wouldn't be unfaithful until they discovered they had been.
I strongly believe that my DP wouldn't be unfaithful but it's a belief not knowledge of a fact.
And that's fine.

RiversDisguise · 07/06/2019 04:04

@BKJ89

I'm a long-term poster and there have been DP / DH appreciation posts from time to time. :) They are nice threads.

Like you, I'm fortunate enough to have a good husband. That said, marriage is cyclical, and certain events can bring out the worst in both people. It's impossible to be blissfully loved up all the time, but if you are lucky you can get that feeling coming back again and again.

If you ever need support in a less sunny time, do come back. You will receive it.

mydogisthebest · 07/06/2019 09:19

Sorry but I do know my DH would never be unfaithful. I have known him for 40 years. I know how he feels about infidelity. He feels exactly the same way I do. It is totally wrong and you would never hurt someone you love, like and respect by being unfaithful.

I know he loves me and would never hurt me. It's not a belief it's a fact.

If someone thinks that about their OH and then they do cheat it just proves they didn't know their OH that well. I know mine. He also is 100% sure I would never cheat and he is correct

RiversDisguise · 07/06/2019 09:23

I agree with mystraigheners.

I think anyone is capable.

Mystraightenersarebroken · 07/06/2019 09:34

I'm sorry my dog but all your last post shows is that you don't understand what a fact is.

You're in danger of sounding as smug as the OP...all these women who thought they knew their husbands didn't really but you do because you're different and special.

NottonightJosepheen · 07/06/2019 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiversDisguise · 07/06/2019 09:45

I feel very sure my husband would not cheat (he is a thoroughly decent, not to mention uxorious, man) but it's not the same as knowledge.

CostanzaG · 07/06/2019 09:46

I understand where mydog is coming from. My ex-h cheated on me and I left but on reflection he was controlling and emotionally abusive. I just didn't see it at the time.

My now DH is different. I honestly can't see him cheating on me. He told me right at the start that he had no hidden depths (his words!) that what you saw was what you got ... no mind games, complete honesty and openness. He has never given me reason to not believe him. He can't stand duplicitous deceitful people and that is the essence of cheating.

NottonightJosepheen · 07/06/2019 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ravenmum · 07/06/2019 14:40

If someone thinks that about their OH and then they do cheat it just proves they didn't know their OH that well.
How many years do you have to wait before you can say for sure that you do know him as well as you think? I waited 20 before discovering I was wrong. You're saying that after 40 years you're pretty unlikely to be wrong? Sounds fair enough.

mydogisthebest · 07/06/2019 21:28

Some people would just never cheat. I definitely would not and I know my DH feels the same.

I love my DH. I also respect him and like him. I would never ever do something that would hurt him so much. Not just that but I think cheating is wrong, totally 100% wrong.

Me and DH have had many discussions about friends who have cheated and he feels as strongly as I do about it.

I am not being smug but I do know for certain that DH has never cheated and never would. It is possible to have strong morals you know

mydogisthebest · 07/06/2019 21:30

ravenmum, me and DH have been married 40 years but we both knew from day 1 that the other would never cheat. We have very very strong views on marriage and fidelity. Also on divorce but that is a different topic

womenspeakout · 07/06/2019 22:47

We have very very strong views on marriage and fidelity

I'm sorry, what does this prove?

You know in the US, the men who claim to be religious and argue strongly against abortions are usually the first forcing their mistresses to get one......

ravenmum · 10/06/2019 16:18

My had had stronger views on marriage and fidelity than me tbh, though he was the one who cheated. I "just" believe in not being a complete bastard 😂

Antigon · 10/06/2019 16:36

I have landed on my feet

I just wanted to see if I could try and help those who are wanting to ring their Husband's necks at the moment, to try to remember the reasons they fell in love and all the things they still love about their partners.

The idea was meant to be to try and help some people think in a more positive way.

Whilst I usually like seeing posts about decent men, I think the tone of the OP was slightly off.

Antigon · 10/06/2019 16:42

@mydogisthebest

ravenmum, me and DH have been married 40 years but we both knew from day 1 that the other would never cheat. We have very very strong views on marriage and fidelity. Also on divorce but that is a different topic

You cannot know for sure. You just cannot. If you insist that you do, then you have a blindspot. You cannot trust anyone 100%.

Lozzerbmc · 10/06/2019 16:52

Great for the OP to be happily married and expecting. Enjoy this time because (in a wonderful way) life is never the same again. I think DH is just doing his share rather than being remarkable but great he is doing so. He sounds lovely and I’m sure will make a good hands on dad.

As to having strong views on fidelity and “never cheating”. I think thats naive to say that - you dont know what pressures and issues lie ahead that may test you sadly.

YoYoYumYum · 10/06/2019 18:16

Yup. My relationship and my DH was like that. Then we had 2 kids with special needs and it was downhill thereafter for us. He is now XH and lives on the other side of the world now. Good luck.