DH has secret FB profile

[Namechangepickle]

Namechanged. Just found a profile that his him on suggested friends. Haha the power of FB!!
Been live for 7 years. He doesn’t have a normal one. This one it seems is for talking to young ladies around the world. He travels on his own regularly. He’s put a different hometown and career and mentions our boys but not me. I could see some messages but no PMs it seems he likes to chat and maybe meet for no strings. We are 26 years married And about to become grandparents. I’m 10 years younger and much fitter than him. Marriage fine, not perfect but no sex for many years. Mostly his health issues. I’m 56 this year and have wonderful job, he’s semi retired. I am not prepared to give up my life and everything I’ve worked so hard for. I think I can tolerate it if it’s overseas and not affecting me but just need to examine my feelings.
He is a good man and has missed sex so I kind of understand
But I’m just a bit disgusted. It’s so cliched. Respect lost. Just needed to vent.

Sorry, posted too soon. Apart from this never happening in the first place, if you find a way to ignore it what do you think things will be like in 3 months time for you?

You can’t unsee what you’ve seen. It’s going to eat away at you. You’re going to have to talk to him about it.

I may need to calm down first.
Thank you for listening. I’m very muddled.

So the women are in fact teenagers.

*Queen
*
There is nothing high class about this, MarieG10 just another old sex tourist.

Sorry you missed the point. The high class prostitution was insinuated as the wife that put up with it and continued having sex with her husband....not that the OP is doing that

So you think the OP should be guilted into turning a blind eye to her husband having sex with, most likely, vulnerable already abused women Babdoc? Classy.

Just to throw something in the mix are you 100% sure its his? And nothing has been cloned?

If you are I would go and get an STI check and then figure out where to go from there

Oh I get you now MarieG10

OP may not be having sex with her 'D'H, but she will be prostituting her morals for the sake of appearances if she blind eyes this.

Not teenagers, our eldest is 29. The ladies seem to be 20/30s and some in countries he’s never been to.
I know it’s vile.
And it is a cliche. I always thought he was so different to those dirty old tossers travelling to Thailand and Vietnam.
Clearly not.

Firstly, are you absolutely certain he's genuinely meeting these women and not just flattering himself by perving at them online?

If he's definitely sleeping with them, regardless of whether you object to him being unfaithful, he's definitely either paying them or misleading them into thinking he might marry them or something. Pretty young women from the Far East don't sleep with random old men because they like them, they do it because they're desperate for money or are hoping to move to/stay in the UK and make a new life for themselves. He's exploiting desperate young women and that's grim. It's one thing to tolerate someone having affairs - that's nobody's business but yours and his - but it's quite another to tolerate someone exploiting desperate young girls.

Maybe I’ll bide my time and then say I’ve found him as a suggested friend. That’s actually how i did find him

I echo dolly. I'm not clear on exactly what you suspect he's doing. Chatting online or meeting up?

Can I ask why he's travelling alone abroad if he's semi retired- where does he say he is going and for what reason because if it's not for work and it's to the Far East, I would have been mighty suspicious long before finding this profile!

Take your time. Do you have real life support to talk to?

How terrible ... and sordid! I do know what you mean about being confused and willing to accept different rules I suppose, my h wants to split and I'm verging on persuading him to do whatever he likes outside of the home instead because I don't want to loose my life either (but I haven't do far). Let it sink in and perhaps confide in a friend

OP have a break and give it a few days to sink it . l would leave things as they were for now until you had my wits about you and got your ducks in order. I am so sorry, you must be in a state of shock. Have you anyone you can speak to in RL who will keep your confidence , I do hope so

Just re reading - He travels on his own regularly ... I could see some messages but no PMs it seems he likes to chat and maybe meet for no strings

So - he goes away alone, but what is the given reason?

sorry x posted with user98. Laptop real slow tonight!

sorry x posted with user98. Laptop real slow tonight!

You have my sympathies OP, it's a grim thing to find out - that your H isn't as decent a person as you thought.
Of course it's entirely up to you what you can or can't tolerate.

One thing though - you'll probably also pop up on his suggested friends and then he might twig.

You can have a good life ON YOUR OWN!

YOu really can. I'm happier than any of the women who post on the relationships board (the ones who START threads).

You sound comfortably off. You don't want your sons to lose respect for him but don't you want them to respect you?

He has always travelled on his own to do photography, and just travel. He’s travelled to places that don’t interest me and i have a real job with limited holiday. He has always been self employed, earned well and plenty of free time. I don’t mind, absence makes the heart etc etc
I always thought better of him.
Also, absolutely no proof that he has seem any of these women in real life. Could be an ego thing.
He has a very fragile ego

Are you sure he is meeting up with women, or could it just be a lot of talk and no action?
Maybe its a way of boosting his flagging ego, since you aren't interested in sex?

Im sure my boys do respect us both and I would die rather than let them find this out.

Oh! Crossed posts, and similar thoughts..