Would you drop a friend who was having an affair?

[Motherof3feminists]

And had admitted it but minimised it to her DP?
I'm struggling with this as she's complaining to me about the situation but she's caused it and I have no sympathy having had my dh go awol with the ow.

Personally I wouldn't but it's not my line in the sand if you see what I mean, I can do completely understand it is some people's though

No I wouldn't, nothing to do with me.

It's hard this, I have a friend who has admitted she wants to go after a married man, I feel like I can't be around her anymore.

I would drop her, it's disgusting behaviour.

Given your circumstances - which she presumably knows - I would find her incredibly callous to be venting to you about her being-the-OW troubles.

I would drop her specifically for that.

Oh yeah good point from pp, so you've been through it and she's venting to you? Yeah I couldn't be doing with that little empathy.

As for her being the OW, I dont know for certain if I would drop her for that, but I know that I would lose all respect for her. So I suppose the friendship would perish on that basis, alone.

No it’s fine. There are things I’d drop friendships for but this isn’t one of them. It’s none of my business.

No it’s fine. There are things I’d drop friendships for but this isn’t one of them. It’s none of my business

Same.

My friends’ sex lives are their business tbh. I wouldn’t ask or care so long as I wasn’t getting dragged into it.

I’d assume she’s very unhappy and ask her why she thinks an affair would solve anything.

I’d encourage her to get counselling and sort herself out. Any moaning to me would get the “well you need to sort yourself out”.

But no I wouldn’t drop her if she was a close friend.

I maybe wouldn't out right drop her but as a PP has said I would really lose respect for her and what's actually left once that's gone? Incredibly thoughtless of her to be venting to you about this given your situation. It must be so hard to listen to!

Don't people want friends with any morals then?

No, it's not my business, unless I was close to their dp too or they tried to bring me into the deception i.e asking me to cover when seeing the other person, I would refuse and tell them if they try it our friendship is over.

Been there in exactly same situation as you and posted. I didn't want to drop her but I have tried to steer away from convos about the situation or actually been honest and said what I think etc. But depends how much you value the friendship/enjoy their company etc.

If my best friend had an affair I wouldnt end my friendship with her.

But then her husband is a cunt and she is being abused. I would be concerned this was another, bad decision she was making in an attempt to get out without having to throw him out.

It really depends on the while situation.

No-one knows the exact reason people do these things

I live and let live, I also believe in the saying never judge until you've walked a mile in that person's shoes

Yep. It says something about a person.

If it was with my Husband then most definitely yes, but if not then No
it would be none of my business.

That said, if I had just been cheated 9n, her relationship was good, she cheated and then was moaning that her dp wasnt over it.

I would judge that. No thought for how you would feel or her don't no remorse for her actions. That would put me off.

No, actually. I'd be pretty critical with them but my friends are my friends, even if they're acting erroneously.

I would make my wrath known but at the same time make it clear they're my friend.

I think I would, having been on the receiving end of an affair. But before I had experienced it, I probably would have just thought none of my business.

Probably not, especially for its out in the open to him now anyway.

But in your position, I'd certainly be telling her that I have no sympathy and won't be her shoulder to cry on, that you find it extremely insensitive and selfish of her to expect you to listen to her without judging.

I would and I have. I cannot tolerate people who have no morals.

I have had several friends who have had affairs.
It's none of my business really and isn't a red line for me,
There was one affair which I was told about and lead to the break up of two families who were within our friendship group.
I found that terribly difficult to carry round as she'd confided in me.
I didn't tell anyone but my own DH and an unconnected friend as it made things like get togethers really hard (for me) knowing what I knew.
I encouraged them to come clean - they stopped seeing each other, then got back together and are still together now some 7 years down the line,
There has been a lot of heartache, and i was shunned a bit for not saying anything when I found out. It was pretty bad.