Would you drop a friend who was having an affair?

[Motherof3feminists]

And had admitted it but minimised it to her DP?
I'm struggling with this as she's complaining to me about the situation but she's caused it and I have no sympathy having had my dh go awol with the ow.

Yes and I have and told her why

I threw someone out of my house once when he came round with a girl and I’d only met his actual girlfriend once

That’s not happening in my house pal

I wouldn't drop them but I would tell them what I thought.

If it's a friend, they'll listen to you and take on board what you're saying. Friends should be able to call each other out on their bullshit.

No I wouldn’t. One of my closest friends had an affair, her marriage was physically and emotionally abusive. Her short term affair was an escape.

I helped her when she left, she left a note (out of fear), I picked her up and gave her a home for six months until she was back on her feet.

We are still close friends 20 years on.

Affairs wreck lives, particularly where there are children involved. People minimise it but actually the consequences are lifelong for some. I think you’ve done the right thing distancing yourself. Those of you who’d just ignore this behaviour in a friend are basically greenlighting it. It isn’t ok. It isn’t even civilised. It’s immoral, selfish and destructive. These days, everything goes. People have no moral code anymore.

I would not be happy to be dragged into such a situation, especially if the DH had also become a friend. I hate lying or being dragged into someone's mess. I would distance myself. I would not want to prop up someone's selfishness.

No it’s fine. There are things I’d drop friendships for but this isn’t one of them. It’s none of my business

This.

The problem is, people that cheat tend to be selfish, untrustworthy, lack empathy, and have poor morals so they probably wouldn't make good a good friend anyway.

I didn't in 1996.

Her teenaged boyfriend who moved away had returned to that part of the country. Her 30-something year old self felt a need to fulfill her teenage dreams of sex with him. So she did. I saw the picture of him as a teen and at the time, and I didn't see the appeal. Her husband was much better looking, and a better man all around from what I she told me of the story of boyfriends life since his parents took him away from her. the whole thing was foolish, and she's lucky she got away with it.

a year or so later, she became convinced her husband was having an affair with a coworker, but obviously she couldn't raise the issue.

they are still together.

No

Most of my friends outdate their relationships. Friends are as important as DP in my eyes, so no I wouldn’t

I might still like the person but affairs make me feel angry and as such, I couldn't help but distance myself which would ultimately break the friendship.

I wouldnt drop a friend for it. None of my business but I wouldnt be interested in discussing it with her either

I had a friend who was seeing her boss at work, it was all so clichéd. I did not drop her as a friend as such but certainly told her that I did not want to talk to her about it as quite frankly I was getting bored listening to the mental acrobats she was performing to somehow justify herself as the victim in the whole sorry saga.

Thank you for all the replies.
I think she might be getting the message as I'm getting less messages and I'm ignoring anything about the situation.
She's off on a family holiday tomorrow for 2 weeks. Her Dp was going too but has told her he wants to split up so she's going on her own with the kids. I can't blame him really. Although they do the break up/give it another go dance every week so I'm not sure if either of them are ever serious. It's exhausting hearing the same things each week. Either way I'll have 2 weeks of no messages and I won't have to worry about holding my tongue! It's a win for me. Selfish maybe but I find it so draining.

I'd drop her.

I have little patience for those who have affairs.

However being a little older and wiser I can see that sometimes all is not what it seems. Some have an affair to get put of a marriage. Others have different reasons.

But it's very thoughtless of your friend to bend your ear about it when you're still smarting from being a victim in a similar scenario.